A convexion oven.
Edit: This works a lot better if you spell "oven" correctly in the title...
I wasn't sure I was ready for that, so I asked her if I could start with amateur-gressive lenses first.
My dreams have never been clearer.
At least in my eyes
He fell into the vat of molten optical glass and made a spectacle of himself.
Do you suppose that he's seeing shit more clearly now?
Doesn't he know he's robin us blind?
More importantly, did you hear about the guy who got his hand caught in one?
It really made quite the spectacle.
"The earliest example of a prosthesis ever discovered is not a leg, arm, or even a fake eye, it’s a toe. A big toe, belonging to a noblewoman, was found in Egypt and dated to between 950-710 B.C.E"
...the very, very first faux toe ;)
Non pun related, the egyptians were the first to grind lenses too, not used as glasses but instead inserted into statues for creepy eye effects
If only there was a solution.
I was stoked
and optimists see glasses as half full.
I saw right through my problems.
"Is that where the criminal light goes?" - me "uhgggg" - gf
If you want to sterilize
My girlfriend was talking about her contact lenses, she's been having a bit of a problem with them..
Girlf: "One of them is never right"
Me: "That'd be the left one"
Needless to say there was a lot of sighing from her end whilst I glow basked in the moment
My dad has been telling this goddamn joke for as long as I can remember -
It's night and completely dark, the only light that shines on the deserted street comes from a lightpost which stands over the sidewalk. A little mouse is frantically wandering around near the lightpost when he gets interrupted by a bear. The bear is curious and asks the mouse what he is doing. The mouse responds: I'm looking for my lense, it fell out and I can't find it. The bear asks if the mouse needs help and the mouse gladly accepts the offer. "Do you know where you were standing when you lost your lense?" asks the bear. The mouse casually points across the street into the black abyss and says "about there, I guess". The bear is surprised by this answer and asks why the mouse isn't looking over there. With a dumbfound look on his face the mouse looks at the bear and says: "Well yeah, but at least I have some light here."
Contract lenses.
Friend: I've been offered a free trial of contact lenses.
Dad: I prefer glasses. Contact lenses can't hold as much beer.
Because they don't believe in Progressive lenses.
I wanted to get him contact lenses but they carry a high risk of cat-aracts.
While in basketball during 7th grade, one of my teammates lost one of his contact lenses while going for a layup. Without missing a beat, 7th grade me says, "Wow, I guess this really is a contact sport!" My dad was so proud when I told him about it later.
Me to my dad: "I like cleaning glass. It ends up satisfyingly clean when your done"
my dad: "It's always nice to have clear objectives"
When I asked if he folded the possible reference to objective lenses into the joke on purpose, he just winked.
So my daughter was playing tennis last week when she got hit by an errant ball knocking her glasses off. When her glasses hit the ground both lenses popped out. She brought them home and we fixed them.
Next day she said one of the lenses wasn't seated right. No problem. I told her to pop the lenses out and reseat them.
Her response, "I don't know how to get the lenses out."
My comment, "Hit them with a tennis ball. That seems to work well."
Silence. . . Well, just me chuckling to myself, but otherwise silence. . .
We were at Visionworks yesterday getting my glasses prescription updated, and I was talking to the saleswoman about glasses care.
"Should I buy one those little frame screwdriver kits? In case my lenses fall out or the frame busts?"
"Well, Laff_Like_Peter, I think that's a bad idea. Those kits are flimsy, and the screw heads break off all the time. Getting your frames adjusted is free if the come in, I wouldn't feel right selling you those useless kits. Come on in if your frames have an accident, I'll give you a good screw".
My Dad, who was sitting quietly next to me, pipes up "Better be careful with what you say". The saleswoman was mortified.
Watching a Football/Soccer game with England playing.
The camera pans to a close up of a girl wearing sunglasses with the England flag for lenses.
(England flag: http://imgur.com/mcK3A0v)
Dad: "She's a bit cross eyed. Such a shame."
I stare at him briefly for 2 seconds, then back at the screen.
