“Thanks, it’s pure bread!”.
Pulled Pork.
Happy fathers day! Ate at a ribfest and this joke came to mind.
Collar-a-doe
Hairring.
Then would tell you it's just two guys walking abreast.
Dad: “ok great. Collar. Leash.”
Son: “no dad. Call her sparky!”
So proud of my son for coming up with this on the spur of the moment!
“Excuse me, could you help me?” I asked.
He grunted in response, barely looking at me.
“Um, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”
He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, “Do we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.
I took a fence.
They both get excited when i bring out the leash
When I walked in, I saw a lady holding a leash attached to a miniature pony. I asked what was wrong with it, she said "he's just a little hoarse."
Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:
"Just looking around..."
It scares the dog
Because they’re not allowed to break their current leash.
I've just taken the lead.
It's the leash I can do.
Me: Welp, should we run it?
Wife: We can, but I don't think the leash is big enough.
Got a huge laugh out of me.
she has a new leash on life.
I work part time as a court clerk.
So I'm sitting in with the judge and another employee about a citation for a person who had a dog off leash and out of a fenced area cited for "running at large" so I asked "so if it's a small dog are they cited for 'running at small'?"
I was at Subway today with my Dad when a girl walks in with a puppy on a leash. Without hesitation, he goes 'Look! A subwoofer!'
Dammit Dad...
There is an impossible knot in my dog's leash. As I grabbed it to walk the dog I noticed it was no longer there.
Me: Wow you got the knot out! Her: Yup I had to use a screwdriver to loosen it.
I leash up my pup, walk out the door and close it. Suddenly it hits me and I scramble for my keys and I hold up the leash as I burst the door open with a big smile on my face.
Me: It was knot expected! A short pause as figures out what is going on. Her: GET OUT OF HERE!
I spent the whole dog walk giggling to myself.
...just came in from walking our new puppy. He had her chain leash looped over and hooked on itself around his neck. He says, "Look, I'm Mr. B.! Get it?! Like Mr. T.!! Except our last name starts with 'B'!!!!!" He then proceeded to eat an apple and chuckle heartily for the next few minutes.
