Dog Leash Puns

“Thanks, it’s pure bread!”.

It scares the dog

“Excuse me, could you help me?” I asked.

He grunted in response, barely looking at me.

“Um, I’m looking for a way to keep my dogs in my backyard. Do you know where those electric leashes are? I’m trying to decide if I should try that or just block it off with a fence or something.”

He turned to face me and looked me up and down with disdain, “Do we look like a pet store?” And he turned around and walked away.

I took a fence.

Then he starts spinning his leashed dog around himself. The bartender asks him what the Hell is he doing, and the blind man goes:

"Just looking around..."

I've just taken the lead.

I work part time as a court clerk.

So I'm sitting in with the judge and another employee about a citation for a person who had a dog off leash and out of a fenced area cited for "running at large" so I asked "so if it's a small dog are they cited for 'running at small'?"

There is an impossible knot in my dog's leash. As I grabbed it to walk the dog I noticed it was no longer there.

Me: Wow you got the knot out! Her: Yup I had to use a screwdriver to loosen it.

I leash up my pup, walk out the door and close it. Suddenly it hits me and I scramble for my keys and I hold up the leash as I burst the door open with a big smile on my face.

Me: It was knot expected! A short pause as figures out what is going on. Her: GET OUT OF HERE!

I spent the whole dog walk giggling to myself.