Kryptonite Puns

A list of puns related to "Kryptonite"

My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”

“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practicing it a lot.”

👍︎ 21k
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👤︎ u/GhostPotency
📅︎ Aug 14 2019
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Kryptonite is basically a calendar.

A Kal ender.

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👤︎ u/spiderpool123
📅︎ Apr 10 2019
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I'm a teacher and I like to do superhero impressions before class to put students in a good mood.

The other day I told them I was going to do an imitation of Batman, so I started off with:

"Argh… kryptonite, getting weaker…"

"THAT'S SUPERMAN!" a student in the back row yelled

"Thanks man, I've been practicing a lot", I replied.

👍︎ 50
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👤︎ u/professorf
📅︎ Aug 01 2020
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I told my son I would do a Batman impression for him.

Me: “Oh no! Kryptonite! My only weakness!”

Son: “That’s Superman.”

Me: “Thank you very much! I’ve been practicing.”

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👤︎ u/bridgeheadprod
📅︎ May 02 2020
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So I work at a record studio.

It's called superman records. One day, this bald, big-shot lookin fellow comes in saying "I need some kryptonite." I point. "Three doors down."

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👤︎ u/Ultraferret107
📅︎ Sep 26 2019
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What did Superman say to the mummy?

Meet me by the kryptonite.

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👤︎ u/2SP00KY4ME
📅︎ Apr 24 2014
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My friend asked me if I wanted to hear a really good Batman impression, so I said go on then. He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” and I said, “That’s Superman…”

“Thanks, man, ” he replied, “I’ve been practising it a lot.”

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/DarkSideDweller
📅︎ Oct 21 2020
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My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman.”

He said, “Thanks dad, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

👍︎ 1k
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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Apr 27 2019
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My son asked me, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?” I said, “Go on, then.” He shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!” I laughed, “That’s Superman!”

He replied, “Thanks dad! I’ve been practicing a lot!"

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👤︎ u/honolulu_oahu_mod
📅︎ Feb 01 2019
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Dad to his son; “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression!?”

Son; “Go on, then.”

Dad growls; “NOOOOO, NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”

Son; “That’s Superman.”

Dad; “Thanks, I’ve been practicing a lot.”

👍︎ 15k
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👤︎ u/exmoor456
📅︎ Oct 23 2020
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I said to my son, “Do you want to hear a really good Batman impression?”

He said, "Sure dad!"

I shouted, “NOT THE KRYPTONITE!”

He said, “That’s Superman!”

I said, “Thanks son, I’ve been practicing a lot!”

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👤︎ u/madazzahatter
📅︎ Apr 23 2017
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