What does Mission Impossible's star give when he f**ks up?

excruises

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Hurtkopain
πŸ“…︎ Feb 06 2021
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What do you call people that steal dad jokes and repost them?

Pun-ks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/professorf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 09 2020
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At last I found some concrete IT support

https://i.imgur.com/xKsNWyA.png

πŸ‘︎ 93
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Seppoteurastaja
πŸ“…︎ Oct 07 2019
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my daughter can't always see the humor in my jokes

http://imgur.com/ksB8cST she had to replace her phone and lost all her contacts...she posted "I need numbers.I lost all of my contacts.", so I replied "can't you just wear your glasses?!"... she wasn't as amused by my joke as I was.

πŸ‘︎ 865
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πŸ‘€︎ u/samoerai
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2014
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Our Hero

Our hero is rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero lives in Marree, South Australia. He hears about a job opportunity in Darwin, so goes to his car to drive the 3,100 ks to Darwin. One problem, his car won't start.

This is no problem for our hero, because he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He walks to Darwin.

When he gets there, the bosses love him, and offer him the job on the spot.

"One problem," they say "The job is in Cape Town, and all air traffic has been halted because of the cyclones"

No problem for our hero. He's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero gets on the boat to travel the 11,000 ks to Cape Town.

Not far into the journey, the boat hits a storm and capsizes. No problems for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He starts swimming.

In the open ocean, a container ship spots him, and offers to help.

"One problem," the captain says over the loud speaker, "There's no rope".

No problem for our hero, he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

He scales the side of the ship bare-handed.

A few days later, they're attacked by pirates. One problem, he's unarmed and outnumbered

No problem for our hero as he is rough, he is tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

Our hero valiantly defends himself, gets some weapons, and is defending the bridge from all attackers.

He fights off the captain of the pirates, and deals him a mortal blow. One problem, the captain in his death throws, pushes our hero off the bridge, and he plummets towards the deck.

No problem for our hero as he's rough, he's tough, he's made of mighty stuff, and he's been through many hardships.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PoglaTheGrate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2018
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