Job (biblical figure) Puns

>!In the Bible, when King Solomon died, his son Rehoboam took his place. The people came to Rehoboam and were like hey man yo dad was tripping with these taxes, why don't you let up a little bit and we'll happily have you as our king. Otherwise, we out. Rehoboam went for advice and he was told to listen to these people and he'll have a solid reign as king. Rehoboam said nah fuck that, you thought my dad was bad? Sheeeeeeit I'm bout to raise these motherfucking taxes and get all yall motherfuckers in line. And then the people said fuck that, a civil war broke out, and Rehoboam lost the majority of the kingdom. !<

>!Franklin really reminds me of Rehoboam right now. Jerome and Louie want the freedom to do their own thing and Leon gives the sage advice to let them do it. Franklin would make less money, but he'd have their respect (and by implication a stable system). Instead, Franklin doubles down like Rehoboam and says fuck that, I'm gonna get them in line. I don't think Jerome and Louie will take too kindly to Franklin's reaction and it's going to cause instability in the business. He may not lose damn near everything like Rehoboam but he damn sure acting like him right now.!<

If seems like meant scholars disagree on whether or not most biblical figures were real or in any way based on a historical person. Is there really not a single person mentioned in the Bible that everyone can agree was real?

(This is a crosspost from /r/Marriage, because I'm curious to hear what other Christians think.)

Hi there, everyone! I'm recently engaged to the love of my life, and I couldnt be happier. My fiancé is a patience, handsome, humble man, and Im so eager for our future together.

But Im still figuring out what I want to do about my surname. Though I rarely use my middle name, I quite like it, and because my first name is unisex (historically, very masculine), it's the only indication on paper that I'm a woman. I really like my current last name, and I also would want it to be fairly easy for any potential kids/grand-kids/great-grands to be able to trace their ancestry.

At the same time, though, I really would like to take my fiancé's last name. At the moment, Im considering hyphenating my maiden name and my fiancé's surname.

A few female friends have told me that from a faith-based perspective, taking your husband's last name is a sign that you have become one and indicates your husband's new role/headship in your life. One has actually felt that hyphenation is contrary to that idea. While I also share the same faith as these friends (Christian), I dont really agree. I feel like its a tradition that is based in culture (and sadly, patriarchy) rather than biblical roots, so it's not necessarily a right or wrong choice to make from a faith-based perspective.

As for my fiance, he's told me that he actually doesn't mind how I choose to go about it, so long as we're able to be married and happy together.

For people who took their partner's surname (or didnt), what were the pros and cons? How much of a pain is it to drop your middle name or maiden name? How much of a pain is it to keep both of them and tack on your spouse's surname? Also, are there any biblical perspectives to this?

I remember a few weeks or months ago there was some controversy over a female politician being negatively compared to some Biblical figure, but I can't remember who it was.

Ever since George Floyd, my dad has been saying more and more racist things about black people. He even calls black people “black lives matter” because he heard somewhere that everyone says calling black people “black people” is offensive.

Today, my dad was talking about BLM with my grandpa (his father) and then he said “Those black people (BLM) are descendants of the Queen of Sheba.”

Like, WTF???? I’m 99% sure that this comment is racist as fuck, but if it is I don’t even know how because all she ever did is ask King Solomon riddles and gave him precious metals. What do Christians think she is?? Some temptress who tested the Lord or something?? (I’m asking this because I didn’t know that the Queen of Sheba is actually figure mentioned in the Bible until today. All this time, I thought that she was some western folklore character.)

Okay hear me out in this,

We know that Chronicoms live for thousands of years, and have been observing Earth for as long as such.

And they all have biblical names, like Enoch, Noah, Malachi, etc.,

And Christianity exist in some form in the MCU, as there is Catholics, discussions about God and the devil.

What if ancient humans mistook Chronicoms as those Old Testament figures?

I'm performing a comedy and I have an improv bit where I call someone a goofy name. It needs to be a pun on something in Judeo-Christian cannon, bonus points if it's about the angel michael. I.e. Michael Sword-an or Joan of Snark... something like that. Yall got suggestions???

I read this when I was about 12, around 2000. It was probably in the YA fantasy/sci-fi section.

Basically, after Jesus raised Lazarus from the dead, he never died again (and he resents Jesus just a little bit for that). Lazarus rolls with it, though, and does his part fighting for the good guys in small ways as the centuries go on. He also likes looking in on his descendants from time and time, and in this book he works a mission in modern times protecting/helping a young woman descended from one of his long-ago children. It sort of had a Dan Brown feel to it.

I don't remember it being a spectacular book, but the premise was so interesting that I'd like to go back and look at it again.

Thanks!

Lot allots a lot o’ lots

Noah fence

I got an ad on youtube telling me about a doctor in the 1940's finding the secret cause of a long life and immunity from disease being hunted down by Hitler, and then her idea being stolen and kept a secret under the US government. I was curious as to what this secret actually was, so I clicked the link.

Basically put, a theologian found a book that claimed that when the bible was first translated into Greek there was a wrongly mistranslated word that brought the average life expectancy down from 600 to 35 years old. He claims that the words "Kaneh Bosm" was mistranslated into "Sweet Calamus", when in reality it means "Cannabis". When he found a verse in the bible telling people how to make holy annointed oil (Exodus 30:22), he replaced sweet calamus with cannabis to make "True Holy Annointed Oil".

He claims that this oil can: Greatly Increase your Lifespan, Heal Wounds and Remove Pain, ease Stress and Anxiety, give you Better Sleep, and Slow the Spread of Cancer.

(I'm not sure what the rules on this subreddit are concerning links, but if I am able too I will gladly give the link to the website.)

Was this similarity the result of certain tropes about major figures in Ancient Middle Eastern history?

King David and Baby Jesus immediately come to mind. These are figures who are depicted nude in art countless times. In not a single one are they circumcised as they would have been being Jewish. Surely Renaissance and Baroque artists would have recognized the procedure and the biblical mandate for all Jewish males to have it done. Jesus’ circumcision is directly mentioned in the Bible and there are paintings depicting the deed being done (wtf Europe?). Yet in basically every picture of Jesus where his penis is visible he’s totally intact down there. Have art historians and/or theologians commented on this?