Believe it or not, my wife appreciates my input when we go shopping for decorations...

...the one thing I actually look forward to when we go to Hobby Lobby is the moment we're walking through the store, I try to keep a perfectly straight face and act like I have a genuine interest in something on the shelf, I reach up and I say something like, "Oh, look at this nice little Stool sample!"

(Not really a joke, but a true dad joke recurring scenario of mine)

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/SplashbackDeuce
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2021
🚨︎ report
If Bill Clinton’s VP pick was input a catchy beat into a computer...

Would it be an Al Gore rhythm (algorithm)?

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ShowPan69
πŸ“…︎ May 03 2019
🚨︎ report
I’m okay with input charts, but graphs?

That’s where I draw the line.

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Saga7508
πŸ“…︎ Jan 26 2019
🚨︎ report
It's also discontinuous
πŸ‘︎ 4k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 21 2019
🚨︎ report
[HELP] Need help coming up with a certain good pun info in desc.

Hi all, sorry for the unorthodox post, but i really need help coming up with a specific pun. You see, this girl called eve challenged me to think of a non-obvious pun for her name that is still good and so far the best i can think of is something to do with an apple(like out of the bible) any chance you could help out a brother in need? Any input welcome.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
🚨︎ report
Plague, inc.

My brother was describing the game Plague, inc. to my dad this morning. Here's how it went down:

Brother: So in this game, you have to make a disease, choose all of its characteristics, and then try to infect as many people in the world as possible.

Dad: That's kind of sick

Many groans were had by all.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/misterjake96
πŸ“…︎ May 02 2014
🚨︎ report
I used to be in a band called 1023mb

we couldn't make it to a gig anywhere

*edit * slightly adjusting wording thanks to input from fellow dads <3

πŸ‘︎ 222
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2017
🚨︎ report
He got me.

I told my dad a joke that went something like this: "You know what they say about broken pencils. They're pointless!" and unfortunately he didn't laugh at my lame joke. So I said "C'mon dad, that was funny. I'm funny" and he says "Yeah, but looks aren't everything." Thanks, dad.

πŸ‘︎ 140
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/AxtonH
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2013
🚨︎ report
Puny WiFi Names

I live on a street called Wellington and I would love some input on puny wifi names as I got a new router recently. Some other people's on the street are Beef Wellington and Duke of Wellington

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tuckerchapin
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report
Science or God

I saw a man today with an lower case Alpha tattoo on one arm and an upper case Omega tattoo on the other.

I was going to tell him about the mistake but decided he'd probabily be resistant to any input

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Ozmandiuss
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2016
🚨︎ report
A perfect dad joke for Father's Day

Me: See, if I wasn't here, you would have never exsisted.

Daughter: Ok, Dad. But Mom was the one who really made me.

Me: Hey, I had a little bit of input.

Pause

Daaaaaaad!

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Djerrid
πŸ“…︎ Jun 22 2015
🚨︎ report
My 12 yr old daughter w/ her dad comment that stopped her 18 yr old brother cold.

My 18 yr old son was intently talking to me about something, and his 12 yr old sister tried to weigh in on it.

He said, "No one asked for your input, Sis." And she immediately snapped back with, "Well no one asked for your output either."*

We all laughed and he grudgingly admitted that it was a pretty clever comeback.

*hope this fits in as a dad joke

πŸ‘︎ 14
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/thelocket
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.