INTEGRAL Puns

He is a real Mister Riemann.

He remembered to add the sea.

but I found it a little derivative

I'm not lion and won't be a cheetah

It's an integral part of education.

But the odds were against them

It was hard to differentiate between them.

The plot was predictable, and the special f(x) was terrible.

I guess if they can afford to this,then they must really be....

                         rolling in the dough.

Only a fraction of people understand that joke.

Now that's what I call structural integrity

According to Calculus, we will get an Amazon, plus a sea.

A Wi-Fi thotspot

If I integrated a gym into my liquor store.

When he got to old man Johnson’s house the old man said “My yard doesn’t need any work, but my porch is in need of a coat of paint. I’ll pay you 50 bucks, and if you finish by sundown I’ll throw in a 50 dollar bonus”.

With a confused look on his face little Johnny accepted the offer and got to work.

Less than an hour later little Johnny knocked on old man Johnson’s door to collect his hundred dollars.

“All finished, that’ll be one hundred dollars”!

Noticing there wasn’t a single drop of paint on the porch the old man started quizzing little Johnnys integrity.

“Now little Johnny, are you absolutely positively one hundred percent sure you finished painting my porch”?

“I sure am! Oh and by the way that’s not a porch, it’s a Ferrari”!

He can’t seem to deal with the aftermath.

She wears an algaebra.

...the after-math

ln(x) chats it up and has a great time, but e^x stands against a wall.

“What's the matter?” ln(x) asks e^x.

“I'm nervous about integrating,” replies e^x, shyly covering its face.

“Oh, that's simple,” ln(x) replies. “Just be yourself.”

lol calculus

....how can you even function ?

I just don't see the point.

Cuz they don’t wanna integrate!

I said, "It's a calc class, I guess you could say curves are integral to our class."

Groans filled the room. I laughed hysterically.

"Don't drink and Derive."

(Obviously not my OC.)

You integrate them

But anti-derivatives are integral to our education.

Seems like Mississippi still has a problem with

( •_•)

( •_•)>⌐■-■

integration

(⌐■_■)

And she goes: "Rice is an integral ingredient in Indian cuisine"

So I answered "You really wouldn't wanna derive from it then, eh?"

The glare she gave me afterwards was priceless :)

He hated those integrals.

My view on my sub-par math teacher completely changed today. Both terrible amazing jokes were said today to the same kid, Tom.

Incident #1: Teacher: So how do you set up this integral? Tom: explains what numbers go where Teacher: Alright, and what are we integrating with respect to? Tom: Y. Teacher. Because I asked.

Incident #2: Teacher: And so, what is the answer? Tom: gives answer Teacher: Are you sure? Tom: Yes. Teacher: Oh, I thought you were Tom.

I was literally the only person in our 10 person class who laughed at those.

Every time he tries to integrate, he ends up by himself.

We were wondering what the most advanced calculator was that we can still use in exams.

Our teacher showed us a calculator with a lot of advanced features (e.g. differentiation, integration, matrices) and said "You're allowed to use ones like these but I don't think you can have graphing calculators."

To which I said "So that's where they draw the line."

I recently subscribed to this sub and it's my new favorite. I shamelessly stole the "tan line" joke for Facebook and a nerd volley with another dad ensued quickly.

Me: Wow, this warmer weather is getting me ready for spring. Hey, I'm already getting ready for summer, check out my tan line! <graph of tangent>

Him: It's certainly not a farmer's tan line...not straight enough.

Me: No farmer's life for me. It's not something I'd sine up for.

Him: ...and I wouldn't cosine your startup loan. (groan)

Me: Sheesh, there's no reason to be hyperbolic.

Him: I really must learn how to integrate all your math vocabulary into my daily life.

Me: You'd really have to think of some way to differentiate yours from mine.

Him: heh...maybe after I move to the delta and crawl under a natural log. I'm sorry, it just struck me that I'm acting the total asymptote.

Me: Ugh. The average of the posts in this thread is degenerating.

Him: We've traversed a slippery slope and while I don't mean to be mean we've gone way past the apex of this thread.

My wife: Nerds.

Me: You married me.

After running diagnostics on a clients computer it comes back with a RAM integrity error.

One coworker says its a lying cheating stick of RAM

another one says It may be lying and cheating... but come November I'm voting for it.

He remembered to add the sea.

He remembered to add the sea.

It was impossible to differentiate between them.

An integral part of mathematics

It's an integral part of a mathematics education.

f(x)=e^x and f(x)=ln(x) walk into a party. After a while, ln(x) is chatting everyone up and having a great time, while e^x is leaning on the wall and sulking. ln(x) asks eˣ what's wrong, and e^x says “I'm nervous about integrating.” ln(x) replies: “Oh, it's simple, just be yourself and see.”

Teacher: Alright, so are we integrating this with repect to x or y?

Class: y.

Teacher: Because I asked you!