IMS Puns

just a few hours ago my brother was talking about buying cinnamon rolls from his english teacher who bakes and sells it on instagram as a side hustle and i said IF SHES AN ENGLISH TEACHER SHE SHOULD CALL THEM SYNONYM ROLLS and honestly im super proud

What did the hispanic who took 2 too many drugs say? Help i think I over(dos)ed

But without hands, im just some guy

Never mind she was just at the grocery store

I never saw him again

Because im really dadicated to the bit

I said to him is that a Fret!

They're gonna be big

I just need someone to help map it out

Matter of fact, make it 2. I need one for each lamp.

I'm literally a skeleton moving with clothes

When a chap in a van pulls up gets out and says there is a new leather sette and a leather chair in the van you can have it free of charge.

We decided to take it to our house. I told my dad expecting him to be pleased. Instead he came over and clipped my ear with the back of his hand.

Crying i said what was that for. My dad said How many times do i have to tell you. DONT TAKE SUITES OFF STRANGERS!

Electron: are you sure?

Neutron: im nearly positive

Electron: ive never been so attracted to you

I can’t C sharp, but I am the dad of A minor, That boy is nothing but treble.

I don't know Y.

https://preview.redd.it/q5qwe293xq351.png?width=850&format=png&auto=webp&s=012dd15015339e123d09a939a70fc64b604e11d4

Because its having trouble focusing

I can stop anytime!

Mark my words!

Dad:"(hands his son a burger) It's a bison burger!"

Also dad:(leaves, and never comes back)

At first I though she was kidding...Then I saw her face

But enough about my Kenny Logins.

I can do it with my eyes closed!

So i can say 'i hit the nail on the head'

So from a distance it looks like hares