Ots Puns

So that's a releif.

I couldn't fit that N

I had to read him the rye-ot act

If you don't aim well , urinal'ot of trouble

An ask-a-lotl!

It was a real rye-ot.

Tequila Mockingbird

We skip most of the football due to the annoying announcers, confusing rules and frequent replay delays, but I was able to come up with an answer when he asked what happens when both teams fail to score in OT. It’s a tie, Dad.

This one requires a little backstory:

There's a cardgame called WHOT! It's just uno but with different shapes. Me and my dad used to play it a lot.

Unfortunately it's led to the same terrible joke being made repeatedly over the last 10 years or so. It goes something like this:

Dad: "You'll never guess what film's on tv tonight."

Me: "What?"

Dad: "No, I don't think they made a movie out of that. It's a card game."

It's literally been going on for over a decade now and it pains me deep inside my soul every time he says it.

So I work in produce at whole foods. One of the guys I work with is an awesome older guy. Mid 40's. Anyway. Last night this happened. He comes up to me holding a beaten up looking pear and asks:

"If this pear was a bird what kind would it be"

"I don't know, what?"

"A pearot"