IDLE Puns

A list of puns related to "IDLE"

At the restaurant last night my friend, with idle hands, tore the bill clean in half, "oops."

"That's okay," I said, "I think they accept split bills."

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👤︎ u/MaterialIndividual
📅︎ Mar 18 2019
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When someone says an idle "so..."

My dad says "buttons".

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👤︎ u/DVMyZone
📅︎ Nov 06 2016
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Don't get mad at lazy people..

They didn't do anything.

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👤︎ u/FuriousStyles13
📅︎ Feb 26 2020
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TIL that during the making of Monty Python's Holy Grail, a crazed gunman got on set.

John Cleese and Graham Chapman were terrified for their lives, but it turned out the guy was just making Idle threats

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👤︎ u/mecoptera2
📅︎ Jul 13 2020
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I respect the people who are able to sit and stay at home during these times.

They are my idles.

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👤︎ u/FinalCaveat
📅︎ Apr 01 2020
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A Saudi Arabian captain was warming up his ships engines before heading out on patrol, when the religion police came and arrested him and his crew...

They were charged with "Idle Warship".

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👤︎ u/Cry2Laugh
📅︎ Nov 14 2019
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My son is lazy, sitting on the couch all damn day...

I told him he should try out for American Idle

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👤︎ u/thomasbrakeline
📅︎ Mar 19 2020
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What did the textiles manufacturer throw through his competitor’s window?

A fabric

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👤︎ u/BigIronOntheHip
📅︎ Apr 17 2019
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Every time I visit a temple, I have no idea what to do. So I stand around and do nothing.

I’m an idle worshipper.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Feb 02 2019
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Every time my friend goes to a temple, he takes a nap.

He’s an idle worshipper.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto
📅︎ Jan 10 2019
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Two mechanics were making small talk about what happens when an engine is running but the car is in park.

You know, just some idle banter.

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👤︎ u/Laymans_Terms19
📅︎ Jan 13 2019
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Well, her mouth IS always moving, soooo

We're shopping at Wegman's last night and the wife is chattering away. All the sudden she stopped talking and started going "hummna hummna hummna". What? says I. "I forgot what I was saying" replies she. "So you put your mouth into an idle?"

The cashier and two people at the service counter thought that was funny. The wife says I have no sense of humor.

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👤︎ u/fixsomething
📅︎ May 09 2018
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My cousin got me the other day.

We had a party tent set up in the backyard, and during breakfast, I was staring idly into it. He asked me, "Are you staring in tent ly?"

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👤︎ u/AvengedTurtleFold
📅︎ Jul 28 2015
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My dad wants to create a new TV show...

"It'll be about a man sitting in a chair doing nothing all day," he says. "I'll call it American Idle."

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👤︎ u/dren_drawkcab
📅︎ Apr 24 2014
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