24 Hilarious I Lived Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I actually lived a dad joke. (Details below)

I was in the mall with my family. A guy is in the mall with a pair of jumper cables (Legit jumper cables in the mall and I don’t know why) he got on the escalator ahead of me. I tapped him on the shoulder and told him, “Hey, don’t try to start anything in here”

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👤︎ u/Ronnie___Pickering

📅︎ Jul 17 2020

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I lived in Salt Lake Utah

That makes me a SLUT resident

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👤︎ u/Slymood

📅︎ Aug 27 2020

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So I asked my Spanish friend if he knew where fish lived.

He said "Si"

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👤︎ u/Craftbloxroyale

📅︎ Aug 03 2020

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I once had a relationship with a woman who lived on the houseboat next to mine

but sadly we drifted apart.

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👤︎ u/Rav4xle

📅︎ Jun 26 2020

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Wow, I lived during the time Bill Gates was alive

I can't wait to tell that to people a thousand years from now!

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👤︎ u/mawire

📅︎ Jan 30 2020

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I lived in a houseboat for a while, and started seeing the girl next door.

Eventually we drifted apart.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 13 2018

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I wish I lived in the days of Stagecoaches. I would have loved to have the job riding shotgun..

And bragging to all my friends that I am a Mail Escort.

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👤︎ u/jgpitre

📅︎ Nov 13 2019

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As a child I lived above the local school...

I was always the top of my class.

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👤︎ u/mathewslg

📅︎ Oct 11 2019

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I had a friend who had a difficult problem with the apartment area that he lived in

He had a complex complex complex

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👤︎ u/uconnrob

📅︎ May 28 2019

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I love how strong this fly is! He has finally lived out his dreams (:

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👤︎ u/BubbleBeat3333

📅︎ Apr 04 2019

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One time I caused a massive cold outbreak in school when I lived in MA

I made Massachusetts live up to its name.

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👤︎ u/coconutcrackin

📅︎ Oct 03 2019

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Me: The street I lived on during my college days was also a garbage dump.

My wife: Really?

Me: Yes. Litter Alley.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ May 31 2019

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I found the only psychic that could communicate with dead animals. I was skeptical at first, but when she talked about my animals it felt as if she lived with them her entire life.

She was a rare medium well done.

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👤︎ u/Anthonybrose

📅︎ Mar 21 2019

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My friend Charles lived away for a long time. So when he came back, I started calling him Harles.

Long time no C.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Jul 10 2018

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I lived in vegas.

I lived in Vegas and the same guy was always asking me for "spare change" at the Market. So one day I brought him a donut ,a lugwrench, and a car jack.

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👤︎ u/SpicyBe-ans

📅︎ Nov 23 2018

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I lived in a giant telescope in space once

it was my hubble abode

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👤︎ u/MuzikBike

📅︎ Jul 12 2016

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People tell me I’ve lived an interesting life, so I decided to write an autobiography.

“An autobiography”

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👤︎ u/Iocaine_powder

📅︎ Feb 26 2018

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Back when I lived in New York, I had a friend named Justin, who worked as an NBA clock operator.

We called him Justin, the Knick of time.

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👤︎ u/TheRealCalypso

📅︎ Sep 20 2015

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Every single time a friend called for me when I still lived at home...

Dad: Yello?

Friend: Hi is emphaticstatic there?

Dad: Yes she is here.

Friend: ...

Dad: ...

Dad: Oooh you want to talk to her!

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👤︎ u/emphaticstatic

📅︎ Sep 16 2013

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My dad's favorite joke when I lived at home

Whenever I had friends over he would always ask them: "are you on your bike?" When the reply was "yes," he immediately responded "get off then."

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👤︎ u/stormpooper86

📅︎ Jan 21 2015

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I've lived 24 years this is the first time I heard my dad make a dadjoke

[in the backyard]

Dad: How come you still haven't cleaned your car.

Me: Sorry I just didn't have any time.

Dad: (walks over to plants)There's thyme right here, and scallions.

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👤︎ u/purpleontime

📅︎ Jun 22 2015

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So my dad and I recently found out that the Daughter of Joseph Stalin lived nearby to us when my family moved in.

My dad suggested that we should have gone up to the house, climbed the steps, knocked on the door and asked:

"Hello, is Stalin?"

It still makes me sigh with disbelief that I never saw it coming.

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👤︎ u/DanCollier

📅︎ Oct 06 2015

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I asked my dad "Have you lived here your whole life?"

"not yet!" Mind blown.

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👤︎ u/goodandu

📅︎ Oct 13 2013

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When my dad would visit me when I lived in New Orleans

Points to Police Car

"sorry4partying did you know why there's so much crime in New Orleans?

Because there's NO PD!"

Joke was recycled by him 4-5 times throughout the 4 years I lived there.

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👤︎ u/sorry4partying

📅︎ Feb 05 2014

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