I tried to make a joke about Jedi, but it wasn't funny.

The punchline felt too forced.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Epicholm
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 15 2022
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What do you call I Jedi that gets Covid?

Omicron Kenobi.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/BHappy317
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 01 2022
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Growing up in Mexico learning how to canoe, my dad said I reminded him of a Jedi apprentice.

I was a young paddle-Juan.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Fastestdaveever
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 02 2021
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Now I know why jedi made the light saber!

The heavy saber was to dark to see.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/StatusFancy
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 25 2021
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I heard that my local police department was described as using excessive force.

I feel better knowing that we have Jedi Masters on the job.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 5
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/HellaHellerson
๐Ÿ“…︎ Sep 01 2022
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Wife: WTF is this pile of clothes doing on the floor?

Me: I struck down a Jedi

Wife: God, I hate you

Me: Yes, use your hate

๐Ÿ‘︎ 18
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/kevindavis338
๐Ÿ“…︎ Aug 06 2022
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Yoda and Luke are walking through the swamp. Part of their usual training course involves shimmying along a cliff ledge, but today, thereโ€™s a long break in the ledge they canโ€™t cross. โ€œSomething for this I have.โ€ Yoda says.

He reaches into his bag and takes out a bunch of regular dinner table forks and a roll of duct tape.

He tapes several forks together to make a bridge and lays it down, allowing the two of them to get across.

When they get back to Yodaโ€™s hovel, they find that some creature has chewed a hole in the fence around Yodaโ€™s garden.

โ€œSomething I have for this.โ€ Yoda says again. Once again, he takes a bunch of forks out of his bag and, using duct tape, tapes them in to patch the hole.

Yoda and Luke return to Yodaโ€™s home, where Yoda looks through his bag. Heโ€™s used all his forks but one, he discovers.

โ€œThatโ€™s ok Master." Luke says, wanting to be helpful. โ€œIโ€™ll write us a note reminding us to buy more.โ€

So he writes the note and uses the very last fork to pin it to the bulletin board.

He looks down at Yoda expecting pride, but instead finds a look of horror.

โ€œMaster Yoda!โ€ he asks. โ€œWhat did I do wrong?โ€

Yoda replies sagely, โ€œA Jedi uses the forks for no ledge and the fence. Never for a tack!โ€

๐Ÿ‘︎ 10k
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2020
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How to make sure no one is pissed at you because of your politics at a holiday gathering

โ€œThe treeโ€™s okay but you could spruce it up a bit.โ€

โ€œRemember the end of Return of the Jedi when they were Ewoking around the Christmas tree?โ€

โ€œBut wait, thereโ€™s myrrh!โ€

โ€œYou should tie your shoes!โ€ โ€œI donโ€™t want to end up on the knotty list.โ€

โ€œSorry Iโ€™m so late. My car broke down and I had to get a mistletow.โ€

โ€œDid you get coal today? The holidays soot you.โ€

โ€œWhy are you down? Do you have resting Grinch face?โ€

โ€œWhat do you mean you donโ€™t like my jokes? When I told them to Santa they sleighed him.โ€

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/stevekimes
๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 25 2021
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Certified Dad Joke: I went on a bike ride with my father-in-law, whose in much better shape.

At the first rest stop, I tell him I'm going to take my bike to the mechanic. There's something wrong with my bike because I keep pedaling harder and it's not going much faster. ๐Ÿ˜

The next rest stop, my father-in-law says the same thing to a guy riding as "bike support." His response: ๐Ÿ™„

BOOM! Ladies and gentlemen, I earned my Certified Dad Joke badge. Good enough for Jedi Grandad!

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Entropy-S
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 17 2021
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Pearl Harbor of puns

If your onion sang hip-hop, would that be a rapscallion?

I used to be an astronaut, but I got tired of eating out of satellite dishes. I wasn't allowed to eat the Milky Way, even though I had to look at it every day. The worst thing was, I never got to visit The Space Bar. Then, when I was visiting the dark side of the moon, I was bitten by a parasite. Now, you might think it's crazy, but the doctor who removed it called it a lunar-tick.

If "womb" is pronounced "woom" and "tomb" is pronounced "toom", shouldn't "bomb" be pronounced "boom"?

China recently tested a new steroid. It basically turns you into The Hulk. The side effect is it could turn you into a crazed zombie that tends to rip the upper extremities from people. People are saying that this could be the zombie apocalypse. In my opinion, lips have nothing to do with it. I call it ARMageddon. The only way to stay safe now is to not let anyone close enough to disarm you.

I recently was going to join the railroad union. I decided against it because it's complicated. If I received instruction on driving the locomotive, would they call it engineering, or training?

I got a sad story about a flower. I don't know who the heck she pissed off, but damn, now she's a Black-Eyed Susan.

I finally figured out what makes leaves angry. Fall. They get so mad they change color. Some are yellow. They're just afraid and run from their problems. The other ones usually just leave.

I went parachuting with my military buddies once. We landed on a department store. I told him I think we're at the wrong coordinates. He said: "Nope. We're right on Target"

I asked a psychologist if Native Americans have strong emotions. He said "Oh yeah, they're intense".

If a psychotic person thought something made sense, would that thought be psychological?

If Matt Damon were searching for a secondhand store, would he be Goodwill Hunting?

My friend is a Marksman for the military. One day, he went to the armory and asked for 3 snipers. They gave him a candy bar. It was a 3 Musketeers.

I want to be there if Dwayne Johnson ever uses a pizza stone. That way I can smell what "The Rock" is cookin'.

Christopher bought a lemon, and the car broke down. Now Christopher Walken.

Have you heard about the latest bank battle on Wall Street? Capital One and Chase got in a fight and Capital One.

You know what a pirate says to his wenches when he sees the shoreline? "LAND HO!"

A man finds a lamp in the desert and dusts it off. Poof! A genie p

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PraetorSolaris
๐Ÿ“…︎ Mar 26 2019
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My wife screeched at me, "What's this pile of clothes doing on the floor!?"

I whispered, "It's a dead Jedi!"

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/madazzahatter
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 21 2018
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Star Wars Puns

From movie puns we provide you the funniest collection of Star Wars puns

What do you call 5 siths piled on top of a lightsaber? A Sith-Kabob!


Why does Princess Leia keep her hair tied up in buns? So it doesnโ€™t Hang Solow!


Why shouldnโ€™t you ask Yoda for money? Because heโ€™s always a little short


What program do Jedi use to view PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi


What do you call the website Chewbacca started that gives out Empire secrets? Wookieeleaks


What do you call a Jedi in denial? Obi-Wan Cannot Be


Where does Princess Leia go shopping for clothing? At the Darth Maul


Greg: Which Star Wars character travels around the world? Craig: Who? Greg: Globi-wan Kenobi!


Matthew: What does a Star Destroyer wear to a wedding? Daniel: What? Matthew: Bow ties, of course!


Deen Why was the droid angry? Mark: Why? Deen People kept pushing its buttons.


Luke: Why did Anakin Skywalker cross the road? Lei Not sure. Luke: To get to the Dark Side.


Darth Vader: I know what youโ€™re getting for Christmas. Luke: How do you know? Darth Vader: I can feel your presents.


What do Whipids say when they kiss? Ouch.


What is a jediโ€™s favorite toy? A yo-yoda


What do you call a pirate droid? Argh2-D2


Where does Jabba the Hutt eat? Pizza Hutt


What is Jabba the Huttโ€™s middle name? โ€œTheโ€ Why is Han Solo a loner? Because heโ€™s solo.


What do you call a Mexican jedi? Obi-Juan Kenobi What do you call a Sith who wonโ€™t fight? A Sithy.


What time is it when Darth Vader steps on your chronometer? Time to get a new chronometer.


What do you call a pirate droid? Arrrrgh-2-D2


Which side of a wookie has the most hair? The outside.


Where does Jabba eat dinner? Pizza Hutt


Who do Jedi call to help open PDF files? Adobe Wan Kenobi


What do you call someone that tries to be a Jedi? Obi-Wannabe


What do you call a bounty hunter from Alabama? Bubba Fett


What time is it when Jabba the Hutt sits on your blaster? Time to get a new blaster! Why is Luke


Skywalker always invited on picnics? He always has the forks with him.


Which imperial officer hated Thanksgiving? Grand Moff Turkeyn


What do you call stormtroopers playing Monopoly? Game of Clones


Why did

... keep reading on reddit โžก

๐Ÿ‘︎ 4
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/Punsville
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 04 2017
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C-3PO: Dad-Cyborg relations

After his head was detached from the body of a droid by R2-D2 during the Jedi-droid battle on Geonosis:

"This is such a drag"

"I am quite beside myself"

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๐Ÿ“…︎ Dec 29 2015
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