Herbal essentials

Noted researcher Rosemary Fuller was involved in a lab accident today. She's working on the theory that herb-based formulas can actually reverse or accelerate the aging process. Parsley, for example, has been shown to cause rapid aging, and recent efforts have shown good results with oregano-based anti-aging serums. Ms Fuller was, unfortunately, standing near a vat of simmering oregano serum when a nearby researcher nudged her and she fell in! It appeared at first that the anti-aging serum would cause her to de-age down to nothing. Now, though, it looks like she'll be all right. The Parsley's aged Rosemary in time.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/berenaltorin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2020
🚨︎ report
I quit my job as a taste tester at the herbal seasonings factory...

... I found the work too Thyme consuming.

πŸ‘︎ 17
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/youtellmebob
πŸ“…︎ Jul 21 2020
🚨︎ report
It’s been a busy day, so I was planning on making some herbal tea..

But I just can’t seem to find the thyme!

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ElKaboutertje1991
πŸ“…︎ Mar 08 2020
🚨︎ report
Why do Communists drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Frankfurt995
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2019
🚨︎ report
I’ve been trying to find an herbal remedy to keep me from feeling rushed...

...turns out I just need more Thyme.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/tehmayormccheese
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2019
🚨︎ report
What happened when Steve Miller drank a cup of herbal tea in his time machine?

Thyme kept on sipping...sipping..sipping..into the future..

πŸ‘︎ 570
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/observationstoat
πŸ“…︎ Sep 20 2016
🚨︎ report
Why can't you hear a tsunami drink herbal tea?

The "T" is silent.

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/xevetv
πŸ“…︎ Aug 01 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a good hot herbal beverage?

High qualitea

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/captglorypants
πŸ“…︎ Apr 27 2016
🚨︎ report
I love Herbal Medicine...

...its great for my Joints.

πŸ‘︎ 23
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheBeerded
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2013
🚨︎ report
I made a new herbal drink from cannabis and eucalyptus leaves.

It's high koala tea.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/terpingtime155
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2018
🚨︎ report
What is a cat's favorite tea?

Hairbal tea

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Lizardeatspaper
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2021
🚨︎ report
Man, when you have a bladder infection...

Urine trouble.

πŸ‘︎ 19
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/6223Error
πŸ“…︎ Jul 22 2019
🚨︎ report
Passing the Dad joke torch

I was describing to my family a weed I'd found in the garden, which had a "strong herbal smell." My daughter (3), who loves to joke about words, grinned and said, "Turtle smell?"

My mother, to engage with her, said, "How does a turtle smell?"

My father and I answered in perfect unison: "With its nose!"

It felt like a significant moment in my growth as a dad.

πŸ‘︎ 57
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/bondjimbond
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2018
🚨︎ report
A man is auditioning for a role in an opera production the local opera company is putting on.

He's been practicing for this role for months. He goes down to the opera house on the day of the audition, only to find he's come down with a sore throat and can't hit his notes anymore. In a panic, he asks one of the directors if they can postpone his audition.

"I'm sorry," says the director, "but we can't delay an audition for just one performer. That would set a bad precedent. Instead, I'll let you in on a little opera house secret." The director pours the man a cup of warm, smelly liquid. "Drink this. It's a special tea to help your throat. The recipe has been passed down for decades in this opera company, and I guarantee it will make you able to sing again."

The man wrinkles up his nose and takes a swig. "Euch! This is... awful! What's in this tea anyways?"

"Well, it's a secret herbal tea blend made with... well... fish broth." The director replies. "Tuna, specifically. We've found it helps soothe the throat better than any other fish we've tried."

Sure enough the man is able to sing again! He hits all his notes and gives an exemplary performance.

At the end of the auditions, he finds the director that gave him the tea. "So... what did you think? Did I get the part or not?" He asks.

"I'm sorry," said the director, "you performed well, but we've decided to give the part to someone else."

"That's OK," the man says, "I'm just really grateful for the Opera-Tuna-Tea."

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/kojo2047
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
🚨︎ report
I almost got fired from my job at the health shop today.

But they let me off with a herbal warning.

πŸ‘︎ 18
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/eltegs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2017
🚨︎ report
Why do communists drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theftο»Ώ!

πŸ‘︎ 10
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/remyroy
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2018
🚨︎ report
Why did Karl Marx only drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft!

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Orlen86
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
🚨︎ report
Why do Marxists drink herbal tea?

Because proper tea is theft.

πŸ‘︎ 67
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Cheesbaby
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2017
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.