[need for help] Pun experts, share the best pun you know about academia/professors/education/writing for grants. Any help deeply appreciated!
EDIT: We plan to place it on the mug as a gift, so it should be relatively short
HELP PUN
Ok guys my 1 year anniversary is coming up with my boyfriend and I'm making a pun book with 365 Puns about love and I'm running out can you help me PLEASE
Help needed for a colour pun
I'm currently developing a game for my studies based on the old windows Game Pipe Dream (or Pipe Mania). It is two player and competitive where each player works for one of two rival companies. The game has a steampunk theme and each company is represented by a different colour. Green is Greenpunk Industries. I need your help, pun masters of reddit, in coming up with a pun for the Blue company.
A man rushed into a Doctor's surgery, shouting ' help me please, I'm shrinking ' The Doctor calmly said ' now settle down a bit '..
..' you'll just have to learn to be a little patient '
A little boy ran up to me " please help, my Dad is in a fight " I followed and we came across two men fighting. I said, " Ok, which one is your Dad ? " ..
.. " I dunno, that's what they're fighting about "
A man bursts into his therapist's office and yells, "Doc, you gotta help me! I keep dreaming that I'm stuck inside a deck of cards!"
The therapist looks up from his paperwork, looks at the man, and says, "I'm busy at the moment, so I'll deal with you later."
Me: "Excuse me, can you show me where the self help books are?"
Librarian: "Well, that would kinda defeat the purpose, don't you think?"
Help me come up with puns which include the name Todd
Help me out: need some rockstar/music themed food puns for my 3 year old’s birthday party!
Having a small party for my guitar and music obsessed soon-to-be 3 year old. Wanted to put some signs next to the food to make it more on-theme. We’ll be serving:
Chicken nuggets
PB&Js (in the shape of guitars)
Veggie tray
Fruit tray
Water & juice
I’m struggling to think of stuff. So far I only have
Nirvana Nuggets (which I realize isn’t even a pun) and PB&J Richie Samboraches. Lame, I know 😂 Help me out if you can think of any more!
Can someone help me?
I just bought some water from IKEA but all I got were two canisters of hydrogen and one canister of oxygen.
"Someone help me find my cornucopia!",
The man cried fruitlessly
This support group will help you recharge
Could this be a cry for help?
Need some help coming up with a pun
I need a pun with a ninja and a lemon. I’m stumped.
If you need help with english
"Dad, I need help with my grammar homework. Can you name two pronouns?"
I invented a bouncing platform to help obese hobos lose weight.
I call it a Tramp o' Lean
Yall my friends hate puns and i wanna make fun of their nicknames please help
Their nicknames are: Brat, Soap and tali
Help!
Coworker found a loophole and it’s mostly dressed as a bear. I’ve used all my bear puns! Help me make more! Work at a gas station/pizza place
My wife asked, “If someone’s body just isn’t fighting the virus, would getting the vaccine help?”
I told her I think it’s worth a shot
REQUEST : Need help with a punny (sorry) construction site related safety slogan
I have to make a slogan for safety week at a construction site I work at. Can you guys help?
Can anybody give me some advice to help me removing ice from my windshield? I just tried with a discount card I had In my pocket
A new father goes to a club that helps adjust to fatherhood
Receptionist: Hello and welcome to the NDA, or New Dad Association, how may I help you today?
Dad: Can I tell other people about this?
Doctor you've got you help me, I'm addicted to twitter.
Doctor: I don't follow you.
Did you hear about the self-help group for compulsive talkers?
It's called On & On Anon.
Why don’t photons ever need help with their luggage?
Pun name help?
Hey! I'm currently writing a novel. And I'm liking for a pun name based on a word that would suggest them not being real. Please don't give me the actual name. Please give me a word I can work with
An old guy goes to the chemist and asks the pharmacist, "Is there some pills that can help with sex?" The pharmacist says, "Yes, Viagra, it's awesome, I take it myself" The old guy asks, "Can you get it over the counter?" Pharmacist replies, "If I took 2 or 3, probably."
I've been depreased recently, so my wife said she was going to make a selection of Middle Eastern food to help cheer me up.
Instead she just made me falafel.
Help me with a name!!!
Hi guys! I’m opening and Etsy shop with my sisters selling stickers (for all ages). There’s 3 of us, we live on the south shore, Massachusetts by the beach. Looking for a punny name!!! Help me out :)
need your help to find new multipuns
A while ago i stumbled upon this 4in1 pun:
It's a TV show featuring a motorcycle gang full of bisexual royal norsemen called
Bikings
Mighty redditors can you help me to find more of this kind of multi puns?
Gatorade should run some kind of charity promotion where they raise funds to help preserve endangered species of alligator.
I've decided to seek help for my irrational fear of speed humps...
I'm slowly getting over it.
I just donated to this group which helps out stray cats...
I guess I'm a feline-thropist now.
Gf asked for help, and I did the best I can
I tried calling the tinnitus help line.
There was no answer, it just kept ringing.
My wife is pissed at me. I made hard boiled eggs for breakfast this morning and let our 2 year old help peel them and he made a mess
I have been walking on eggshells ever since.
My daughter wanted to help me make some bread, so she offered to "proof" the dough for me.
"Really?"
"Sure," she said.
"It's the yeast I can do."
Help! Accidentally uninstalled Windows!
What do you call a joke that can help you with your studies?
I need help coming up with “bear” puns for a school project
Trying to think these up has been unbearable
[help] puns for a nutritionist
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