Heinrich Schütz Puns

List of composers that ruined classical music

I hate and despise all of these individuals. They have subjected us to the worst cultural degeneracy. They are:

Petrus Abaelardus (1079 - 1142) Hildegard von Bingen (1098 - 1179) Pérotin Magister (c. 1155 - c. 1250) Léonin Magister (fl. c. 1150 - 1201?) Philippe Le Chancelier (c. 1165 - 1236) Walter von Der Vogelweide (c. 1170 - c. 1230) Alfonso X "El Sabio" (1221 - 1284) Philippe de Vitry (1291 - 1361) Pierre Des Molins (fl. c. 1375) Ghirardello da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Lorenzo da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Jacopo da Bologna (fl. c. 1375) Guillaume de Machaut (c. 1300 - 1377) Francesco Landini (1325 - 1397) Pycard (fl. c. 1390) Franchois Lebertoul (fl. c. 1400) Johannes Ciconia (c. 1335 - 1411) Early Renaissance - 15th Century

Leonel Power (? - 1445) Walter Frye (fl. c. 1450) John Dunstable (c. 1380 - 1453) Guillaume Dufay (1400 - 1474) Johannes Brassart (c. 1405 - c. 1450) John Browne (? - 1498) Johannes Ockeghem (1420 - 1497) Antoine Busnoys (1430 - 1492) Richard Hygons (c. 1435 - c. 1509) Josquin Des Préz (1440 - 1521) Alexander Agricola (c. 1446 - 1506) Edmund Turges (c. 1450 - ?) Walter Lambe (c. 1450 - after 1499) Robert Wylkynson (c. 1450 - 1515 or later) Heinrich Isaac (c. 1450 - 1517) Jacob Obrecht (1457 or 1458 - 1505) Jean Mouton (1459 - 1522) Gijon (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Francisco de la Torre (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Juan de Triana (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Antoine Brumel (c. 1460 - c. 1515) Pierre de la Rue (1460 - 1518) Robert Fayrfax (1464 - 1521) Richard Davy (c. 1465 - c. 1507) William Cornysh (c. 1465 - 1523) Juan Del Encina (1468 - 1529) High Renaissance - 16th Century

Francisco de Penalosa (1470 - 1528) Luis de Narvaez (fl. c. 1540) Giovanni Battista Conforti (fl. c. 1550) Jean l'Heritier (1480 - 1552) Gasparo Alberti (c. 1480 - c. 1560) Robert Carver (1484 - 1568) Nicholas Ludford (1485 - 1557) Clement Janequin (1485 - 1558) Ludwig Senfl (c. 1486 - c. 1543) Costanzo Festa (c. 1490 - 1545) John Taverner (c. 1490 - 1545) Nicolas Gombert (c. 1490 - c. 1556) Adrian Willaert (c. 1490 - 1562) Francesco da Milano (1497 - 1543) Heliodoro de Paiva (c. 1500 - 1552) Philippe Verdelot (c. 1500 - before 1552) Christóbal de Morales (c. 1500 - 1553) Marco da l'Aquila (fl. c. 1505 - 1555) Jacques Arcadelt (1505 - 1568) Christopher Tye (c. 1505 - 1572) Thomas Tallis (c. 1505 - 1585) Bálint Bakfark (1507 - 1576) Johannes Lupi (1510 - 1539) Jacobus Clemens Non Papa (c. 1510 or 1515 - c. 1555 or 1556) Guillaume Morlaye (

Today is the eighth of October! MOASS almost definitely confirmed for today, because if not today, then tomorrow, and tomorrow is Saturday, so it must be today! In other news; to avoid as much crime as possible, I would personally register my shares directly! Look what this day brought us over the past years, and just imagine what that day will bring us in 2021! <3

Events

314 – Constantine I defeats Roman Emperor Licinius, who loses his European territories.

451 – The first session of the Council of Chalcedon begins.

876 – Frankish forces led by Louis the Younger prevent a West Frankish invasion and defeat emperor Charles II ("the Bald").

1075 – Dmitar Zvonimir is crowned King of Croatia.

1200 – Isabella of Angoulême is crowned Queen consort of England.

1322 – Mladen II Šubić of Bribir is deposed as the Croatian Ban after the Battle of Bliska.

1480 – The Great stand on the Ugra river puts an end to Tartar rule over Moscow

1573 – End of the Spanish siege of Alkmaar, the first Dutch victory in the Eighty Years' War.

1645 – Jeanne Mance opens the first lay hospital in North America.

1813 – The Treaty of Ried is signed between Bavaria and Austria.

1821 – The Peruvian Navy is established during the War of Independence.

1829 – Stephenson's Rocket wins the Rainhill Trials.

1856 – The Second Opium War between several western powers and China begins with the Arrow Incident.

1862 – American Civil War: The Confederate invasion of Kentucky is halted at the Battle of Perryville.

1871 – Slash-and-burn land management, months of drought, and the passage of a strong cold front cause the Peshtigo Fire, the Great Chicago Fire and the Great Michigan Fires to break out.

1879 – War of the Pacific: The Chilean Navy defeats the Peruvian Navy in the Battle of Angamos.

1895 – Korean Empress Myeongseong is assassinated by Japanese infiltrators.

1912 – The First Balkan War begins when Montenegro declares war against the Ottoman Empire.

1918 – World War I: Corporal Alvin C. York kills 28 German soldiers and captures 132 for which he was awarded the Medal of Honor.

1921 – KDKA in Pittsburgh's Forbes Field conducts the first live broadcast of a football game.

1939 – World War II: Germany annexes western Poland.

1941 – World War II: During the preliminaries of the Battle of Rostov, German forces reach the Sea of Azov with the capture of Mariupol.

1943 – World War II: Around 30 civilians are executed by Friedrich Schubert's paramilitary group in Kallik

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

Heinrich Biber, 1696: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=zHVSWRgCVrs&t=59s

Heinrich Schütz, 1647: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3fXED5L3Oh8&t=2473s

Do your worst!

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies 😂

It really does, I swear!

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

They’re on standbi

BamBOO!

Pilot on me!!

Christopher Walken

Nothing, he was gladiator.

but then I remembered it was ground this morning.

Edit: Thank you guys for the awards, they're much nicer than the cardboard sleeve I've been using and reassures me my jokes aren't stale

Edit 2: I have already been made aware that Men In Black 3 has told a version of this joke before. If the joke is not new to you, please enjoy any of the single origin puns in the comments

Or would that be too forward thinking?

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

When I got home, they were still there.

I hate and despise all of these individuals. They have subjected us to the worst cultural degeneracy. They are:

Petrus Abaelardus (1079 - 1142) Hildegard von Bingen (1098 - 1179) Pérotin Magister (c. 1155 - c. 1250) Léonin Magister (fl. c. 1150 - 1201?) Philippe Le Chancelier (c. 1165 - 1236) Walter von Der Vogelweide (c. 1170 - c. 1230) Alfonso X "El Sabio" (1221 - 1284) Philippe de Vitry (1291 - 1361) Pierre Des Molins (fl. c. 1375) Ghirardello da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Lorenzo da Firenza (fl. c. 1375) Jacopo da Bologna (fl. c. 1375) Guillaume de Machaut (c. 1300 - 1377) Francesco Landini (1325 - 1397) Pycard (fl. c. 1390) Franchois Lebertoul (fl. c. 1400) Johannes Ciconia (c. 1335 - 1411) Early Renaissance - 15th Century

Leonel Power (? - 1445) Walter Frye (fl. c. 1450) John Dunstable (c. 1380 - 1453) Guillaume Dufay (1400 - 1474) Johannes Brassart (c. 1405 - c. 1450) John Browne (? - 1498) Johannes Ockeghem (1420 - 1497) Antoine Busnoys (1430 - 1492) Richard Hygons (c. 1435 - c. 1509) Josquin Des Préz (1440 - 1521) Alexander Agricola (c. 1446 - 1506) Edmund Turges (c. 1450 - ?) Walter Lambe (c. 1450 - after 1499) Robert Wylkynson (c. 1450 - 1515 or later) Heinrich Isaac (c. 1450 - 1517) Jacob Obrecht (1457 or 1458 - 1505) Jean Mouton (1459 - 1522) Gijon (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Francisco de la Torre (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Juan de Triana (fl. c. 1460 - 1500) Antoine Brumel (c. 1460 - c. 1515) Pierre de la Rue (1460 - 1518) Robert Fayrfax (1464 - 1521) Richard Davy (c. 1465 - c. 1507) William Cornysh (c. 1465 - 1523) Juan Del Encina (1468 - 1529) High Renaissance - 16th Century

Francisco de Penalosa (1470 - 1528) Luis de Narvaez (fl. c. 1540) Giovanni Battista Conforti (fl. c. 1550) Jean l'Heritier (1480 - 1552) Gasparo Alberti (c. 1480 - c. 1560) Robert Carver (1484 - 1568) Nicholas Ludford (1485 - 1557) Clement Janequin (1485 - 1558) Ludwig Senfl (c. 1486 - c. 1543) Costanzo Festa (c. 1490 - 1545) John Taverner (c. 1490 - 1545) Nicolas Gombert (c. 1490 - c. 1556) Adrian Willaert (c. 1490 - 1562) Francesco da Milano (1497 - 1543) Heliodoro de Paiva (c. 1500 - 1552) Philippe Verdelot (c. 1500 - before 1552) Christóbal de Morales (c. 1500 - 1553) Marco da l'Aquila (fl. c. 1505 - 1555) Jacques Arcadelt (1505 - 1568) Christopher Tye (c. 1505 - 1572) Thomas Tallis (c. 1505 - 1585) Bálint Bakfark (1507 - 1576) Johannes Lupi (1510 - 1539) Jacobus Clemens Non Papa (c. 1510 or 1515 - c. 1555 or 1556) Guillaume Morlaye (c. 1510 - c. 1558) Antonio de Cabezón (c. 1510