I replied "Oh that's easy, you just use your eyes."
"I went to have my hair cut."
"But ! You're on company time."
"Well, my hair grows on company time."
Little Harold attended a horse auction with his father. He watched as his father moved from horse to horse, running his hands up and down the horse's legs and rump, and chest. After a few minutes, Harold asked, 'Dad, why are you doing that?' His father replied, 'Because when I'm buying horses, I have to make sure that they are healthy and in good shape before I buy. Harold, looking worried, said, 'Dad, I think the UPS guy wants to buy Mom ....'
... her name was Miss Anne Thrope.
I replied; 'Harold MacMillan?' (I was wrong!)
and dad said, 'Nope, it was Tony Blair'.
'But Tony Blair wasn't prime minister in 1970!'
'No but his name was still Tony Blair!'
Watching the news when they mentioned billionaire Harold Hamm's divorce settlement, and it showed the check he wrote his wife. My mom said she'd never seen a check that big, when I replied "It's a normal size check, it's just on a large screen..."
The bartender looks over at him and says " Hey, I've got a drink named after you!" Confused, the screwdriver looks to the bartender and replies, "You've got a drink named Harold?"
As we were lookong for the year that Harold and Kumar go to White Castle was made on the dvd case ..
Her: I can't find it, its not on the case.
Me: well then, I guess that means its Timeless.
Driving down the road the hospital entrance in question was on:
Me: So where do i need to turn in to get there?
Her: See that Harold's sign there, the big star?
Me: Yeah...
Her: Drive right past it.
