It's a hard rock life
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Islarf
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Its hard as a rock being a dad.

Always taken for granite.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamesStrangsGhost
πŸ“…︎ Oct 25 2020
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Rock hard dudes
πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jankovskijr
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2019
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I have a compulsive habit of obliterating album CD's of classic hard rock bands

You could say I've got an appetite for destruction

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cinoxal
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2019
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Rock hard bottom
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Drunkyjimmybob
πŸ“…︎ May 22 2019
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Why are rocks hard to understand?

They speak with a lithp

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1nstrument
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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Quote in the Hard Rock Cafe Rome imgur.com/RcY3kzK
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πŸ‘€︎ u/iulioh
πŸ“…︎ May 04 2017
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What do you call a rock enthusiast’s favorite hard candy?

Geology ranchers

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shepley77
πŸ“…︎ May 08 2018
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Medusa has to be the sexiest woman in history

one look and you are rock hard

πŸ‘︎ 33
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12cheese21
πŸ“…︎ May 29 2020
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Dwayne Johnson is a really nice guy, so he always makes sure he's as close to the wall as possible...

He hates putting anyone between The Rock and a hard place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/curioushom
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2020
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How does paper beat a rock?

even the united states military had a hard time winning against a rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ethanlgraham
πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Where did the boulder go to learn its arithmetic?

The School of Hard Rocks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SparkyYes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 11 2020
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I was queuing up to get into the supermarket yesterday. Dwayne Johnson was in front of me. Behind me was a fish holding the trolley above his head!

I was between The Rock and a hard Plaice

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Cyryoonake
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2020
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I bought a guitar made out of diamond.

Now I can play some hard rock.

πŸ‘︎ 390
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JamieLaineRose
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2019
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Superb Owl

Can’t believe the sky high prices for tickets to see a band at the Hard Rock stadium this weekend! Anyone heard of the β€œSuperb Owl”? Can’t find them on Spotify.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Zerospan01
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2020
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I dunno man, Mt. Rushmores kinda gay

I mean 4 guys, rock hard, and no one said no homo

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tH1CCDeNs3B01
πŸ“…︎ Aug 31 2019
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Did you hear about the diamond, super short sword that Annie the Orphan found?

It's a hard rock knife.

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πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2019
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What would you say if Dwayne Johnson pinned you to a mountain?

I’m stuck between The Rock and a hard place.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nikenotnikey
πŸ“…︎ Apr 19 2019
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That joke is so old...

That joke is so old, the last time I heard it, I laughed so hard that I fell off my dinosaur and broke my rock underwear!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pooponastik33
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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I started training at my new job and dadjoked by coworkers then got dadjoked by my new boss

So as the title said, I started training today for my new job and we had a huge meeting with all of the heads of the business and one of the heads gave everyone rocks that symbolized something or other.

I look at the rock, then at my two coworkers and say "Hey guys, do you wanna get stoned?" They groaned, as was expected, so I continued with, "Come on guys, don't be so rough on me. Making these puns was pretty hard."

My boss comes up and says "I think your puns rock".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Uldyr
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2015
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Dessert Puns

I saw a white, fluffy thing swinging through my local cake shop. Suspect it was a meringue-utang.


I was out driving the other day and I spotted two packets of cheese & onion crisps walking down the road. I said, β€œDo you want a lift”. β€œNo thanks”, they replied, β€œWe’re Walkers”.


I was in a cake shop the other day, they were all Β£5 apart from one that was Β£10. I asked why it was so expensive, the shop owner said β€œthat’s maderia cake”.


Bought some cream, it said β€œstore in a cool place”. So I left it in the Doctor Who studios.


Local ice cream man was found lying on the floor of his van covered with hundreds and thousands. Police say that he topped himself.


I used to love doughnuts, but I got bored of the whole thing.


A man says β€œI keep finding custard in one ear, and jelly in the other”. The doctor says β€œI’m afraid you are a trifle deaf”.


I bought a waffle iron the other day. Get really annoyed with wrinkled waffles.


How do you make an apple puff? Chase it around the garden


What do they call a man who abandoned his diet? DESSERTER.


Ice cream is exquisite… –what a pity it isn’t illegal.


The optimist sees the doughnut, the pessimist sees the hole, and the realist sees the calories.


Why did Eve bite the forbidden apple? Because it tasted better than Adam’s banana.


Why did the students eat their homework? Because the teacher said that it was a piece of cake.


Why do we put candles on top of a birthday cake? Because it’s too hard to put them on the bottom!


When is a birthday cake like a golf ball? When it’s been sliced.


What did the cake say to the fork? you want a piece of me?


Why was the birthday cake as hard as a rock? Because it was marble cake!


What happens when no one comes to your birthday party? You can have your cake and eat it too.


What do they serve at birthday parties in heaven? Angel food cake, of course!


A birthday greeting: For someone special as you, only ANGELFOOD would do. HAPPY BIRTHDAY!


Did you hear there are two suspects in Two Ton Charley’s death? BEN and JERRY.


Don’t eat too much fudge, or else you will have so much pudge you won’t be able to budge.


You know you’re a mom if… Popsicles have become a staple food.


Mexican candy makes my taste buds say β€œOLE!”


FORGET LOVE… I’

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Punsville
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2017
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My neighbor is really into music.

Even his driveway is hard rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheStankTank
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2018
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Found myself stuck between Dwayne Johnson and a frozen fish...

I was caught between the rock and a hard plaice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Simon559
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2017
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Help! I need a pun!!!

My girlfriend's dad (Rocky) makes his own wine and I want to make him a bunch of punny labels for the bottles as a Christmas present. Current leading contenders are:

  • Rocky and Bull-wine-kle's Alcoholic Grape Juice
  • Rocky Start Wineries
  • Rock Hard Wine

Any more suggestions would be greatly appreciated! Sorry for all the wine-ing...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WebberWoods
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2014
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My tour guide just did this dadjoke

So we were in glenwood springs and went into the caves. It seemed like a really normal tour and just as we're about to exit, the guide tells us to put our ears on the wall of the cave. We all did assuming it was some cool feature of the cave. The guide asks us what we think we're listening to. Some reply water and others reply erosion. The guide tells us we're wrong and all we're doing is listening to hard rock.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sohamtamhane
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2015
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My brother said he didn't want to go on a trip to Mexico because he thinks it will be boring.

Dad said "I heard lately Mexico really rocks hard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyWithTheShoe
πŸ“…︎ Sep 27 2017
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Got dadjoked at a concert last night

So Colin Hay (from Men at Work) is on stage singing some great songs. Just him and a guitar. Someone yells "You fucking rock!"

Colin Hay responds "Tonight I'm doing more folking than rocking. I will folk you hard."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/FlyingSaucered
πŸ“…︎ Jul 16 2015
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My wife just got us good...

My 10 year old was reading us a tidbit from a "useless information" book about a woman that married a rock.

Wife: "Yeah, she was probably a stoner"

It's hard to groan through that much pride...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/drc2016
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2015
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Geology Museum

So my dad and are touring a college in Rapid City, South Dakota, and we drove past a Geology Museum. He casually pointed it out as we had not noticed it before. I waited a few seconds, fully expecting a Geology rocks joke, but he was silent. I asked him why he didn't make a joke, as he is notorious for awesome dad jokes, and he looked at me and said, "I was going to but I felt like I was stuck between a rock and a hard place." I just looked at him and gave him a fist bump. This is going to be a great trip.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/futuretrojan
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2013
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I'm dating a medusa

One look and I'm rock hard.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Valdagast
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2020
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