"What's this? Will it cure my hangover??" I asked.

"It's a breathlyzer, sir," replied the cop. "Please step out of your vehicle."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TommehBoi
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2018
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My wife came downstairs this morning and laughed, "You had too much to eat yesterday and you've got a hangover, don't you?!" "You don't get a hangover from eating too much!" I challenged.

She dug, "You do! For goodness sake, loosen your belt, it's disgusting!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2018
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Last night I had The Killers over for s’mores and hot cocoa. We all woke up this morning sick with hangovers

I looked at them and said β€œhow did it end up like this? It was only Swiss-miss.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mfitzy87
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2019
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What’s the best thing for a hangover?

Drink heavily the night before

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2018
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What do you call a hangover from too much wine?

The Wrath of Grapes.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toberoni
πŸ“…︎ Aug 02 2018
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I always eat Greek food to cure my hangover but it never works.

I still falafel.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrthatsthat
πŸ“…︎ May 14 2018
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How does Dr Dre get rid of his hangovers?

Hair of the Snoop Dogg.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kevinh456
πŸ“…︎ Jul 04 2017
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Waking up after a night of drinking my girlfriend asked me to bring her some green tea to aid her hangover

I came back with this http://imgur.com/9KgUeRK

Dad jokes are the best medicine

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πŸ‘€︎ u/deutschbag17
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2015
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Waking up with a tooth ache and a hangover..

Tell my roommate my face hurts because I probably fell off my bed at night. He responds, " did you fall off at tooth-thirty?!?"...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ama457
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2014
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I drank alot of alcohol at the airport last night.

I now have a terminal hangover.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/het_bob
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2020
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What did the drunkard ask his friend

Can I hangover at your house

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Skelopun
πŸ“…︎ Oct 29 2018
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Confucius say, "Man with large beer belly

have perpetual hangover."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dunn_with_this
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2018
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Punrelenting word play at the Rose Parade

New Year's Day... The start of a fresh 365 sunrises that symbolize a turning point in lifestyle and spending the entire day recovering from a dreadful hangover. Like many other people in America, this relatively fake holiday is a time that I spend with my family. One of my family's many traditions (alongside annihilating plates of buffalo wings and watching college football until we pass out on the couch) is watching the Rose Parade. At the very beginning of the event, before all of the flower-covered floats and high school bands came marching down the street, there was an introductory ceremony complete with a B-2 stealth bomber flyover. As soon as they passed by, zooming out of the camera's frame, my dad leans in closer to me and says "Well I sure didn't see that coming!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MinisculePeen
πŸ“…︎ May 06 2015
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Every time my dad tells this it gets just a little more elaborate. But this is how I remember it.

Paul has a shitty life, his wife constantly berates him, his job sucks, his boss is a bully, his car is a shitty 85 ford pinto with a cracked windshield and is in bad need of a new transmission and to top it all off he's chubby, balding, and he has a small penis.

The only thing good in Paul's life is his friend Artie. Artie isn't the brightest bulb in the world, but he's always been there for Paul in the tough times. On October 5, 1953 Artie stood up for Paul against his bully in 7th grade. Artie got his ass handed to him at that time, but so did Paul. That incident resulted in a life long friendship. Paul and Artie went to the same High School together. They traveled around Europe that one summer in college. Artie was Paul's best man at his wedding. Everyone thought speech Artie gave was terrible, But Paul loved it Artie was his best friend.

Artie's life wasn't much better either, he never had the smarts for that great Job. In fact he was stuck in a dead end job as a construction labourer. Artie's car was pretty shitty too. Artie never married, but he was happy in the knowledge that at least he didn't end up with Paul's shitty wife.

For Paul's 46th birthday Artie was pretty broke, so all he could get his friend was a single lottery ticket. Artie being the sentimental guy that he was picked the date of the start of their friendship, and their respective ages (46, 45). Paul loved the present, and thought that the two of them should go to the Legion that friday to split a round of beers and listen to them call out the numbers.

On Friday they are both sitting there at the Legion having a laugh over a couple of beers when the cute lottery girl comes on the t.v. to read out the numbers. Paul pulls out the ticket and spreads it out on the beer stained table in front of them. The lottery girl starts reading out the numbers, 45, 10, 05. Both of Paul and Artie's hearts start beating, thats 200$ already. 53, Holy crap thats like a 10, 000 ticket. They both start losing their shit. 46....... Paul feints. He just won the jackpot. 37million dollars.

Two minutes later Artie finally revives Paul. Paul and Artie celebrate the night away, buy round after round for the people at the Legion and get absolutely shittered. They close out the bar and as the ugly lights come on they stumble blitzed, singing, onto the street arm in arm with the winning lottery ticket in hand and start the long walk back to Paul's place.

Halfway home, Paul comes to two drunken

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/clearwind
πŸ“…︎ Feb 22 2014
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