I know two women who are twins and look a lot like each other.
One is a scientist and the other performs dark magic.
I don’t know which is witch...
Group of peeps I hang out with are making good Halloween puns involving their user. I need one that can make use of either Vince, Vincevaleker, e11, or Valeker. Any ideas?
Why couldn’t the witch have children? Her husband had a hallow weenie.
Which ghost is the best dancer? The Boogie Man!
Friend: What are you gonna be for halloween? Me: Drunk!
For Halloween I’m going to write “Life” on a plain white T-shirt and hand out lemons to strangers
This Halloween, the only Candy I’m interersted in swings from a pole and has daddy issues
“Halloween” = an excuse for girls to dress up like sluts.
Thank goodness for Halloween, all of a sudden, cobwebs in my house are decorations!
I’ll be your trick if you’ll be my treat.
How do Rednecks celebrate Halloween? Pump kin!
When do ghouls and goblins cook their victims? On Fry Day
What’s a monsters favorite desert? I-Scream!
What do you call a Halloween boner? Petrified wood
What do you call a dancing ghost? Polka-haunt-us
What do you call a hot dog with nothing inside it? A “hollow-weenie!”
Did you hear about the wild party at the haunted house? The whole vibe was anything ghost (goes).
How do you write a book about halloween? With a ghostwriter.
I’m going to celebrate Halloween the same way I always do… by murdering a bunch of teens by the lake. Sincerely,
Two monsters went to a Halloween party. Suddenly one said to the other, “A lady just rolled her eyes at me. What should I do?” The other monster replied, “Be a gentleman and roll them back to her.
The lesson of Halloween is that pretending to be something you’re not will lead to a sweet reward.
I remember when Halloween was the scariest night of the year. Now, it’s Election night.
I want to be something really scary for Halloween this year so I’m dressing up as a phone battery at 2%.
Why dident the skeleten go to the halloween party? Becuse he had no body to go with.
What did the bird say on Halloween? Trick or tweet!
What do Italian’s eat on Halloween? Fettucinni Afraid-o (Ha ha ha)
Why can’t the boy ghost have babies? A. Because he has a Hallo-weenie.
What do goblins and ghosts drink when they’re hot and thirsty on Halloween? A. Ghoul-aid!!!
What do ghosts eat for supper? Spooketi
What do you do when 50 zombies surround your house? Hope it’s Halloween!!
What is the most important subject a witch learns in school? Spelling.
Any help will be much appreciated! Some examples for what I need are..
Count Ronaldo, Lionel Mummy, and Frankeneymar
These are kinda week lol give me some of your best ones!
He's now asking that I call him the Halloween Pun King.
I think it will gain a lot of interest.
That night, I had a brush with death.
They said it's a scare tictac
Wife: who’s skull is that
Me: a man named Phillip
Wife: what’s in it?
Me: vodka and orange juice.
Wife: .......
Me: it’s a Phillips head screwdriver
Apparently they don’t like people knocking on their doors.
I looked back and I was being followed by a coffin. I sped up and so did the coffin. When I couldn't run anymore I searched my pockets for anything to help. I found a few Hall's mentholyptus that I threw at it!! Coffin stopped.
He picked out a Butterfinger from his bag, held it up, and said “Kit-Kats are good but these are butter.”
Easter and Valentine's Day are a couple other good cand-y-dates.
***Because most people are offended at seeing Boo Bees! -My 10 yr old son
Because it was made of old sheet.
I asked, 'Which is?'
'Exactly', he replied.
I find it really hard to pull it off.
"its because you're dyslexic son"
They ran out of Gandhi :(
I changed my mind because i would get board quickly.
Wow, that blue spider is so beautiful! It’s Blue-tiful!
I’m so proud.
"Which is?" he asked.
"Exactly."
You'll get Jurasskicked.
He’s shellfish
Because they have no soles.
Pump kins
Unfortunately, it's the one we live in.
He didn't habanero
I know, I know, that was Terryble
With its scarecard!
A Boodist.
They taste like sheet.
G'day ween
