Why couldn't Robert Plant pay for a gumball?

No Quarter.

👍︎ 10
💬︎
📅︎ May 31 2018
🚨︎ report
Blood relationship
👍︎ 59
💬︎
👤︎ u/HauntingH
📅︎ Feb 12 2020
🚨︎ report
What do you call a fish with no eyes?

A fshhhh

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Dec 27 2018
🚨︎ report
Home Depot checkout line is as good a place as any for a dad joke

I needed to run to Home Depot just a little while ago, and my eight year old son has been driving my wife insane, so he was sent with me. He asked a hundred questions about what tool does what and why I needed this or that. Despite my distracted supervision, he surely mixed up several loose nuts and bolts.

At the exit of the self checkout line, there's a massive gumball machine that holds massive gumballs. I rarely carry change, so he's out of luck.

Sonny Boy: Dad, can I have a quarter?

Me (checking out): Nope. Don't have one.

Sonny Boy: You don't have any cents?

Me: If I had any cents, I'd have left you at home tonight.

No, he didn't get it, and I'm shocked he set it up so well by saying cents. But, the dude in the line next to me let out a solid guffaw. We made the satisfying, knowing eye contact of two dad joke aficionados. I'm glad someone else heard it.

👍︎ 2k
💬︎
👤︎ u/dtsjr
📅︎ May 28 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.