This guy told me he was Harry Potter’s godfather. I thought he was messing with me.

He told me he was Sirius.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Humidittities
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you get when you cross the Godfather with a philosopher?

An offer you can't understand.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Jun 28 2020
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Network Engineer. Stuck at work monitoring the help desk so everyone else can go home early for the holiday. Watching The Godfather. imgur.com/VKpoxpm
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sir_Mulberry
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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I met the Godfather of the Scottish mafia earlier...

He made me an offer I couldn’t understand.

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2017
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How many Godfather films are there?

A Coppola 'em.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iZacAsimov
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2017
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What do you hear on The Godfather radio on Pandora?

All hits, all the time.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shiftyourparadigm
πŸ“…︎ Mar 21 2017
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What's the difference between the Mexican mafia and "The Godfather" sequels?

One is all about dinero, the other one about De Niro.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/puntimeerror
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2014
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Godfather dad Joke

My buddy and I brought in pizza from Godfather's Pizza this past weekend. We walked into his cluttered studio apartment with the pizza and some beers and I looked around for a place to put the pie.

His kitchen table had no room; neither did his coffee table. When I asked him where I should put it he told me just to set it down on top of his bed while we made space.

"Are you sure you want me to put it there?" I asked.

"Yeah, what's the big deal?"

"You want me to put the pizza on this - the duvet of my daughter's bedding?"

I could hear Brando groaning from beyond the grave.

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ‘€︎ u/goontownpopyou
πŸ“…︎ May 07 2014
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What do you call the Indian Godfather?

Papa Dom

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Almarrio
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2016
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I really like The Godfather and The Godfather 2.

Francis Ford made a Coppola great movies..

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πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2015
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My Godfather doesn't always tell jokes, but when he does...

At the end of the evening, after dinner with my parents and godparents. My Godfather gets up to leave, puts on his jacket and turns to us. Out of the blue he comes out with:

>I'll leave you with this: You can kiss a nun once. You can kiss a nun twice. But you must never get into the Habit.

We laugh, groan, laugh some more. He leaves.

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Daregveda
πŸ“…︎ Sep 30 2014
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My wife said she wants a divorce because I play too many video games.

What a stupid thing to Fallout 4. It Sims totally unreasonable.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/runew0lf
πŸ“…︎ Jun 08 2021
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I'm putting an addition on my roof.

It's a little room where I can sit and watch movies like The Godfather and Apocalypse Now.
It's a Francis Ford Cupola.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheREALProfPyro
πŸ“…︎ Sep 02 2020
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Did you know that Jesus was with the Italian Mafia?

It’s true! His dad was the Godfather.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iusedtobeaplayer
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2020
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Conversation between Bellatrix Lestrange and Harry Potter:

Bellatrix: "I killed your godfather!"

Harry: "Are you serious?!?"

Bellatrix: "Dead Sirius."

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πŸ“…︎ Apr 02 2019
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What is the strongest father?

A godfather.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imrin101
πŸ“…︎ Jan 05 2019
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At my godparents house...

We're watching tv. All of sudden I hear some slapping, my godmother laugh and tell my godfather, "you're so weird". I turn and he says: "you wanted your palm read, so I made it red!"

Laughter.

Then my god mother looks at me and says "why does this remind you of pie" (sticking her hand out) I go, "idk, why" She replies: "Bc its got meringue on it!"

I love them.

πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/tjleggz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2015
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Apparently this was a serious question. Assumed it was a dadjoke

Me talking to my godfather: " [...] one of these Teutonic metal bands like Saxon [...]" 19 year old godsister: "What's Teutonic metal? Is it like two different tones at once?"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tronquixote
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2014
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Discussing movies at Thanksgiving dinner

At Thanksgiving dinner with some family friends and my dad (a dentist) and his dental partner (my godfather) are talking about movies.

Godfather: Have you guys seen Gravity yet?

Dad: No, I heard it's heavy.

cue laughter

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πŸ‘€︎ u/craznfish
πŸ“…︎ Nov 29 2013
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My dad would always throw this one out years ago

I would be listening to Dookie by Green Day

"Hey son, what are you listening to? BLUE SKY?!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Miiiich
πŸ“…︎ Nov 06 2013
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