47 Hilarious Gigli Puns - Punstoppable 🛑

I started a band but we could never make it to a Gig.

What was the band name? 1023MB.

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👤︎ u/AstrosAtoZ

📅︎ Dec 02 2020

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My first gig out of school was directing a TV ad for tampons.

It was a period piece.

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👤︎ u/PupperPuppet

📅︎ Sep 20 2020

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I did my first comedy gig in a fertility clinic.

I got a standing ovulation.

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👤︎ u/DinglebarryHandpump

📅︎ Sep 24 2020

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I sat next to an insurance salesmen at the Robbie Williams gig last night.

And through it all, he offered me protection...

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👤︎ u/the_houser

📅︎ Nov 08 2020

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The chief roadie for a touring band should be called its Gigs Bosun

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👤︎ u/Spelelo

📅︎ Jul 28 2020

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Started a band called 999 megaybtes

We still havent gotten a gig

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👤︎ u/Jackieboi24

📅︎ Jan 29 2021

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Did you guys hear about the camel that got a gig playing a cow on Broadway?

She was a real drama dairy.

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👤︎ u/atonyatlaw

📅︎ Feb 23 2020

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/lolyfe-dc

📅︎ Dec 05 2020

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There's a band called 999MB.

they haven't had any gigs yet.

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👤︎ u/ineedapapaya

📅︎ Sep 16 2020

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I was once in a band called 999 megabytes.

We could never quite get a gig.

Edit: I was aware that it's 1024 Meg to a gig, but "a band called 1023 megabytes" doesn't have the same ring to it. Also doesn't getting the IT wrong make it more dad like?

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👤︎ u/Nickl444

📅︎ Sep 30 2019

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Still haven't gotten a gig...

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👤︎ u/A_Real_Hen

📅︎ Apr 01 2017

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Why did the musician lose a gig at a funeral?

He couldn’t find the right tomb.

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👤︎ u/TITANofATHENS

📅︎ May 07 2019

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The airline damaged my guitar because I bought a cheap gig bag

It was a worst case scenario

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👤︎ u/MuttonChopViking

📅︎ Apr 29 2018

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A rock star's Journey

A number of years ago I was in a rock band. We were hugely successful, playing some of the biggest venues and entertaining swarms of fans.

The last shoes we ever played were on our world tour. We played the Americas and then flew over to Europe. We played our way through Russia and even a couple of gigs in China, before selling out our final show in Japan.

It was a hell of a Journey, but it was time for me to hang up my guitar. I retired from the rock star life and got an office job in Tokyo.

I made a few friends at work, and grew close with one in particular, Narada-san. One day Narada had the day off for a funeral, but that wasn't enough; he needed more time. He was torn between his obligation to return to work and his desire to have more time at home. He asked me what he should do.

The answer was simple. I picked up my guitar and played a Japanese version of our biggest hit from 1981:

Don't Stop Bereaving

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👤︎ u/BANGexclamationmark

📅︎ Nov 21 2020

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I made fun of soccer during my comedy gig yesterday...

luckily, it was a good sport

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👤︎ u/my_name_Jeff_right

📅︎ Mar 13 2019

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My uncle is a musician, but his second gig is being a dad

http://imgur.com/Ht8jydx

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👤︎ u/ResetsPls

📅︎ Aug 08 2015

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I'm doing a charity gig tonight for people that struggle to orgasm

Don't worry if you can't come.

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👤︎ u/Forphucsake

📅︎ Dec 20 2014

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I did a stand-up comedy gig for a law enforcement fraternity...

... I must have killed it, because they wanted to charge me with attempted manslaughter.

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👤︎ u/PM_me_your_beavah

📅︎ Oct 24 2018

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Fun Gig

My IT Consultant was telling me about a fun gig, told him that's a 1000 more than a fun meg.

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👤︎ u/awhitehatter

📅︎ Sep 27 2018

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I’m so excited that I got my first acting gig as a mime in a silent movie.

I’m absolutely speechless.

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👤︎ u/porichoygupto

📅︎ Aug 15 2018

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Did you hear about the band 1023 MB?

They’re good, but they haven’t got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/futurecivilian

📅︎ Jun 11 2020

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I used to be in a band called 'Gig Cancelled'

We didn't get big crowds.

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👤︎ u/Clbull

📅︎ Dec 10 2017

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As a disabled dad, playing the guitar, being picked up for the gig....my son asks, “you going to jam”

And I reply, “it’s more of a preserve, than a jam.”

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👤︎ u/NameItTrashIt

📅︎ Feb 15 2018

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Why did the musician quit playing after his best gig?

He wanted to end it on a positive note.

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👤︎ u/elmaninho

📅︎ Feb 26 2017

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My friend went to a jazz gig last night.

Told me all about his friend's girlfriend who was playing saxophone.

^You ^know ^what's ^coming.

I asked if she was a saxy lady.

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👤︎ u/StrawberryBlind

📅︎ Nov 30 2014

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Last night at a gig, people threw rotten tomatoes at our band.

The whole experience left a sour taste in my mouth...

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👤︎ u/that_introverted_guy

📅︎ Sep 01 2015

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There's a band called 999 megabytes

They're ok, but they haven't had any gigs yet

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👤︎ u/CrispyCream87

📅︎ Jan 03 2020

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I have a side business selling sexy T-Shirts.

The business name is Gig It T.

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👤︎ u/GreatGreenGobbo

📅︎ May 08 2020

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Anyone heard of a band called 2048MB?

They've had 2 gigs so far.

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👤︎ u/gaming_gamer01

📅︎ Apr 17 2020

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I sent a comedy film video to a friend

It was one gigabyte in size

It was quite a gig

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👤︎ u/heyimpaulnawhtoi

📅︎ Dec 24 2019

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What ring do girls not want?

Suffering.

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👤︎ u/raavenash

📅︎ Mar 11 2018

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I used to be in a band called 1023mb

we couldn't make it to a gig anywhere

*edit * slightly adjusting wording thanks to input from fellow dads <3

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👤︎ u/akjohnston87

📅︎ Feb 26 2017

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Have you heard the band 1030 megabytes

Not surprising, they just had their first gig

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👤︎ u/monsterlooster

📅︎ Jan 19 2020

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What is Helen Keller called when she goes to the shooting range?

Helen Killer

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👤︎ u/Snowjedi6

📅︎ Feb 13 2019

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What do you call condoms playing music with each other?

a rubber band!

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👤︎ u/mangenuity

📅︎ Oct 06 2016

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I started a band called 999 Megabytes — we haven’t gotten a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/TakenByKangAndKodos

📅︎ Aug 28 2019

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/vjeats

📅︎ Nov 08 2020

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I recently started a band called 999 megabytes.

We're good but we still haven't gotten a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/SuspectedAphid

📅︎ May 01 2019

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Did you hear about the band called "1023MB" ?

The haven't had any gigs yet

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👤︎ u/HellsJuggernaut

📅︎ Feb 27 2020

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Have you heard about that band "999 MB"?

Well they haven't gotten a gig yet...

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👤︎ u/djkress

📅︎ Feb 07 2020

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I recently started a band called 999 megabytes...

We’re good but we don’t have a gig yet!

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👤︎ u/Bakedschwarzenbach

📅︎ May 24 2019

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 02 2019

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 16 2019

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I started a band called 999 megabytes.

We still haven't gotten a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/NonstopSuperguy

📅︎ Mar 14 2019

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 06 2019

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Have you heard of the band 1023MB?

They haven't got a gig yet.

👍︎ 4

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👤︎ u/notdadbot

📅︎ Nov 11 2019

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I'm in a band named "999 megabytes".

We haven't got a gig yet.

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👤︎ u/Mastrwill

📅︎ Dec 10 2018

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