Nightmare fuel.
Carry on, Carry on. Doesn’t really matter.
It was a real fucking nightmare!
Bruno Mars
But they didn’t planet.
His body was aching all the time
Queen
I said “I’m not sure about that but I can have a good crack at Bohemian Rhapsody”
Must be the high Mercury content.
He'll deck the halls with bowels of Holly.
A Freddy kruller
Because of the unusually high Mercury content.
He took the phone, and said, in the voice of Freddie Mercury, "Is this the wi-fi? Is this just fantasy?...Caught in a landline, we don't need AT&T.." and then passed the phone back. We already have AT&T, and I WAS ON THE PHONE WITH A FRIEND THAT DOES ACCOUNTING?, NOTHING TO DO WITH SOMEONE CALLING OUR HOUSE. No more Crockpot broccoli and cheese soup using weed butter for him. Good god... I'm almost impressed. We also haven't had a landline in years. God bless this small dog weilding, vaping man.
On the way home from daycare, my 5 year old (Freddie), my 2.5 year old (Timmy) and I had a short conversation. Timmy really likes it when everyone is happy, so he asks a lot.
Timmy: Are you happy daddy?
Me: Yeah, I'm happy.
Freddie: I'm happy Timmy!
Timmy: No! <Laughing> I'm happy Timmy! You're happy Freddie!
It doesn’t pay much but the tips are huge.
The farmer sits on his porch with his shotgun across his lap.
The first boy arrives and says, "Evening sir, my name is Freddy, I'm here for Betty, we're gonna eat spaghetti, is she ready?"
The farmer looks the boy over, and says "sure sure, go on in"
The second boy arrives, and says, "Howdy sir, my name is Joe, I'm here for Flo, we're gonna see the show, is she ready to go?"
The farmer looks down at his shotgun, then back at Joe, and says "sure sure, go on in, she's ready"
The third boy arrives, and says, "Good evening sir, my name is Chuck..." KER-BLAM!
Freddie Mercury poisoning
We we're in the car yesterday and he mentioned wanting to buy a CD by Queen. I asked him which one he would like and he said "he (Freddie Mercury) made a really good one before he died"
to which I replied "well.. aren't they all from before he died?"
"HA I GUESS THEY HAVE TO BE" he laughed
If the situation was reversed no way he wouldn't have answered the exact same thing. It was such a typical thing for my dad to say that I almost had a minor crisis
I'm only 21. And a female. And I'm already starting to become my dad
Paul has a shitty life, his wife constantly berates him, his job sucks, his boss is a bully, his car is a shitty 85 ford pinto with a cracked windshield and is in bad need of a new transmission and to top it all off he's chubby, balding, and he has a small penis.
The only thing good in Paul's life is his friend Artie. Artie isn't the brightest bulb in the world, but he's always been there for Paul in the tough times. On October 5, 1953 Artie stood up for Paul against his bully in 7th grade. Artie got his ass handed to him at that time, but so did Paul. That incident resulted in a life long friendship. Paul and Artie went to the same High School together. They traveled around Europe that one summer in college. Artie was Paul's best man at his wedding. Everyone thought speech Artie gave was terrible, But Paul loved it Artie was his best friend.
Artie's life wasn't much better either, he never had the smarts for that great Job. In fact he was stuck in a dead end job as a construction labourer. Artie's car was pretty shitty too. Artie never married, but he was happy in the knowledge that at least he didn't end up with Paul's shitty wife.
For Paul's 46th birthday Artie was pretty broke, so all he could get his friend was a single lottery ticket. Artie being the sentimental guy that he was picked the date of the start of their friendship, and their respective ages (46, 45). Paul loved the present, and thought that the two of them should go to the Legion that friday to split a round of beers and listen to them call out the numbers.
On Friday they are both sitting there at the Legion having a laugh over a couple of beers when the cute lottery girl comes on the t.v. to read out the numbers. Paul pulls out the ticket and spreads it out on the beer stained table in front of them. The lottery girl starts reading out the numbers, 45, 10, 05. Both of Paul and Artie's hearts start beating, thats 200$ already. 53, Holy crap thats like a 10, 000 ticket. They both start losing their shit. 46....... Paul feints. He just won the jackpot. 37million dollars.
Two minutes later Artie finally revives Paul. Paul and Artie celebrate the night away, buy round after round for the people at the Legion and get absolutely shittered. They close out the bar and as the ugly lights come on they stumble blitzed, singing, onto the street arm in arm with the winning lottery ticket in hand and start the long walk back to Paul's place.
Halfway home, Paul comes to two drunken
... keep reading on reddit ➡Me (listening to Queen): "Man, I wish Freddie Mercury was still alive. He was such a great vocalist."
Dad: "Well, he was poisonous."
But they didn't planet
...But they didn't planet that way.
but they didn't planet that way
