Either she’s still mad about the forced move, or she’s considering molting..
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CROM_90
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2021
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forced to move molting crab

i think my crab died of shock because his claw and 2 legs broke off. we moved him because he tried to dig but it wasn’t big enough , we were really careful aswell but he’s been completely still for about a week .

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πŸ‘€︎ u/efyouropinion
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
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Help: Forced to unbury molting crab, separated from shell

Background: Three crabs, had them since August, just under 1" shell opening, no prior molts. 29 gallon, 6-8" deep substrate, 5:1 sand eco-earth. Heat/humidity range from 75-82. Varied diet mostly protein, chitin, and calcium. Lots of shells, all have switched shells. Two crabs are currently molting, one is not (has been a happy loner on the surface).

What happened (tl;dr; Non-molting crab in iso, one molting crab unburied with screwed up cave) :

Two crabs went down 2.5 and 3.5 weeks ago (a week apart), and I didn't have any idea where because the tunnels had been backfilled/covered. I was nervous, but careful not to disturb anything, kept the lone crab on top well fed and hoped for the best.

This morning I saw the lone crab while doing routine maintenance, everything was fine. Just a couple hours later I saw he had tunneled pretty deep. He enjoys a little digging, but this was unusual. I knew he wasn't molting but I had two crabs that were so I grabbed a flashlight to inspect.

At the bottom of the tunnel (just a few inches deep) was the molting crab's shell along with the non-molting crab shell! Didn't see the actual molting crab (just corner of his shell), but I was worried about cannibalism, so I attempted to widen the tunnel and carefully extricate the non-molting crab for isolation.

While I was doing this, the naked molting crab appeared and wriggled sideways against the sand. Clearly alive, which was good, but problematic because I didn't want to disturb him. Here was the situation: https://imgur.com/a/lFlppZa Wasn't sure what to do, so I covered everything with loose wet leaves and left it for a couple hours.

Checked on it periodically, the situation just seemed really unsafe. Non-molting crab was moving around a ton and disturbing molting crab, it looked bad. I dug out the hole even more and pulled non-molting crab out with a pair of medical tongs while trying not to touch molting crab. He's now isolated (drained the 2.5 gallon saltwater tank in the main tank and turned that into a nice little habitat).

What to do?:

The molting crab's pit is covered with loose wet leaves again, but he's separated from his shell (buried below him now), the cave is destroyed, no sign of an exoskeleton. There's also another molting crab around somewhere, so I don't want to just stick a soda bottle down.

The molting crab looks very light pink and shiny and new all over. Would the exoskeleton likely have been e

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ErroneousFunk
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2019
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forced molting?

i try not to do more than a 10% water change when i clean my shrimp tank but sometimes i get carried away and end up siphoning more water than intended. every time i do this, the next day i see a bunch of molts in my tank. i read somewhere this is called 'forced molting' and isn't good. i've been having some trouble finding much information about it though. anybody here know what's going on?

anyway, it's a ten gallon tank with a ton of moss and a large shrimp population (20+). just did a water change a couple of days ago, but before that the parameters were 0 ammonia, o nitrite and around 2.5 nitrate. pH is around 7.6 and gh is about 120. also i add egg shells for extra calcium.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fishnshrimps
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2018
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Forced molting, common in the US, where chickens are intentionally stressed, and starved of food and often water for 7-14 days to artificially restart the egg-laying process en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Guobaorou
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2016
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Is it possible to remove a lobster from its shell without killing it (forced molting)?

When lobsters molt, they have no shell-- so would it be possible to very carefully force a lobster to molt?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheUnderground
πŸ“…︎ Nov 28 2012
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Randomly clicked my way to this. TIL about forced molting...and am very glad to be vegan. en.wikipedia.org/wiki/For…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mmmberry
πŸ“…︎ Apr 26 2012
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When you are molting & mahm forces you to take a real shower reddit.com/gallery/s0ski1
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saritaRN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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When you are molting and mahm forces you to take a real shower reddit.com/gallery/s0shtn
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πŸ‘€︎ u/saritaRN
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Is it possible for one crab to force another to come to the surface during the molting process? Any help is appreciated! reddit.com/gallery/pfirgo
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2021
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Anyone else’s bun never clean themselves and needs a cuddles sesh?(No hair was forced, all very loose molt)
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πŸ‘€︎ u/CassTheAss0825
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2020
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Human Question Pt 9

Human Question Pt 8

Human Question Pt 1

Official Report: Queens Council

Position: Queens Historian

Standard Date: 22.51.612

Subject: Humans

This is an official report of the Queens Council in dealing with the Pope’s death and the Human threat. The Queen has been in personal reflection on the Humans for several long moments in the Pope’s Grand Hall. She has called for me and several other Aides to her side to discuss the human threat.

ST 0730

Queen: Military Advisor Temh, when it comes to the human military what do we know?

Temh: My Queen, We know they are fractured and have been in constant conflict internally with themselves. Their FTL is below the galactic standard. Their weapons are crude projectile types of various sizes and ranges. Besides that we have not studied their military much due to the Humans being classified as nannies and teachers so no further studies were done. We never positioned them as a military threat.

Queen: How large is the human military?

Tehm: Unknown, My Queen.

Queen: How many troops?

Tehm: Unknown, My Queen.

Queen: You are telling me they killed one of the three most powerful people in the universe and we know nothing of them.

Tehm: The humans were not deemed a threat so the military never prepared for them. As for the Pope he was supposed to be eternal and his Inquisitors were his own force.

Queen: So who here knows anything about them!?!

Special note:

A small Cration, came forward, slinking along with the legs with its fur matted showing the signs of stress.

Cration: I was incharge of first contact and integration to the Empire.

Queen: So tell me what can these humans do to us?

Cration: My Queen, I am sorry to say that we are not sure. The Humans on first contact sent us data packages of their tribes and history. The Pope and the Oversearer deemed that these primitives would need to be scrubbed of history before they were put in their designated places, so the data packets were never reviewed.

Tehm: Did we give them any special information?

Queen: I shall ask the questions! I will forgive you for stepping out of your position… So answer the question.

Cration: Just the standard packet how they will be welcomed in their place and Who is in charg

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ourcraft78
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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What happen to her? v.redd.it/6lru8q31lq481
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πŸ‘€︎ u/seetisen
πŸ“…︎ Dec 10 2021
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Death Grips is basically a satanic NFT.

Warning: [Mental] lanes at speeds that seem insane to them petty pussy brain.

Death Grips is a non-locale entity, similar to a government or corporation. It is an artistic concept that exists metaphysically beyond it's creators, a la "Art escapes the artist". The core identity of the group is explicitly stated as based in the philosophy of Accelerationism. Acceleration is also a sonically persistent theme expressed throughout their discography.

Death Grips, in the abstract, is an autonomous vessel in which MC Ride, sits front seat on a full-throttle crash course through his own mortality.

>Nowhere to go, nowhere to hide from what we know down deep inside. Hell if I know, just wanna ride until the wheels fall off and I run off the road, no telling why

>Exist like a drunk man at the wheel, but first sitting in the front not at the wheel

I'M DOING HANDSTANDS ON HER TRANS-AM

Death Grips is aesthetically personified as a seductive, feminine idol in digital format. It operates like an artificial intelligence matrix that is both hyper-aware of it's virtual presence and integrally secure enough to not be influenced externally. This is achieved by filtering all data through a small set of core values.

>Death Grips is online, drinking from it's spine

GAGA CAN'T HANDLE THIS SHIT

It's "personality" emulates that of a sadistic dominatrix, withholding information rather than pleasure and punishing only the most subordinate & obsessive of users simply by reflecting their own sycophancy. This reinforces a BDSM-like complex between Ride and the listener. This is akin to the oral tradition of spiritual master passing down sacred knowledge in schools of mysticism.

You think he loves you for your money...

>I am the darkness creeping through your system, the lash of the whip cracking every bitch into position

>Snatch it cuz I got the queen's tits, up my sleeves, snatch it like you're the queen's bitch, up my sleeves I hold your ground with my perch

>All I see sycophants hunting for that little bit. Never will get sick of it, take it like the middle one. Learned about how sick it is, every word is cinema

The framework/skeleton of Death Grips is constructed by Zach Hill's precise drum sequences, (not to mention that he is solely responsible for the group's connections to the music industry,

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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What Does the Death of Cinemas Look Like

I had a somewhat frustrating debate on a post the other day regarding the overall health of the cinema industry and my assertion that the situation ten years from now will be worse than the situation today, absent COVID. I am eager to hear arguments against it, because the idea eludes me.

If you don’t mind reading academic papers, this from 2002 by Michelle Pautz makes all of the same arguments as are made today regarding declining cinema attendance, only she wrote it 20 years ago and every factor she describes has only gotten worse in the last 20 years plus now there’s a virus: https://ecommons.udayton.edu/cgi/viewcontent.cgi?article=1023&context=pol_fac_pub

Dr. Pautz had no way of knowing when this paper was published that 2002 would end up being the peak of cinema attendance for the next two decades. Source of numbers: https://www.the-numbers.com/market/

https://preview.redd.it/s0tc9wza36b81.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=c12f6375446f8282c06537282f80a789c9a4555e

In 2002, domestic cinemas sold 1,575,756,527 tickets. By 2019, that had dropped to 1,228,762,168. And that’s not an aberration, the trendline is pretty clear for 17 years. By the three year average to smooth out the noise, attendance dropped on average 1.28% every year. That isn’t good.

In the appendix on Page 15, she includes a chart which fairly clearly demonstrates that what we think of now as a healthy cinema system is itself a shadow of the golden age. It also highlights that this decline in attendance is occurring at a time of increasing population. The chart shows how in the 1930s and 40s, between 40 - 60% of the population went to the cinema every week. A steep decline begins at the end of World War II (advent of television, suburbanization, and antitrust rules had not yet made the birth of the multiplex feasible) and eventually settles around 1965 at 10%. Movie palaces gave way to multiplexes, 2500 seat houses demolished to make room for 100-500 seat houses. It’s hard to get precise figures from the chart, but attendance stays roughly flat, 9-11%, keeping pace with increasing population until 2000.

We have more data now.

https://preview.redd.it/4cpwuh0d36b81.png?width=600&format=png&auto=webp&s=eceaf2ec04c3cbcbc83b83dd1c62800da5981689

That is worse than bad. That’s an industry just shredding its market

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pac42
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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I see a common theme on Shriiiips Reddit

That is a lot of you still don't know how to do shrimp tank water changes.

Let me do this real quick, in a nutshell you want to:

1.Age your water regardless of source, aging just means let the water sit in some type of food grade container for 24hrs adding an airstone or small pump to circulate the water is also very useful. Water is colder out of the tap and it will have a different ph. If you are on tap use a dechlorinator.

  1. Drip your water changes (this includes drip acclimation) Adult shrimp molt once a month roughly if you are doing large un aged water changes every week you are forcing the shrimp to molt = the ring of death. to drip just get your aged water above your shrimp tank and (step ladder is useful) set up a drip line with airline tubing and valve, if you dont have a valve you cant tie a knot.

Just doing the two things above will dramatically increase your shrimp survival rates.

Happy Shrimp Keeping

Marks Shrimp Tanks

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarksShrimpTanks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 10 2022
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Nell'indifferenza nazionale, il 3 Dicembre l'ULSS 6 del Veneto ha subito un attacco hacker che paralizzerΓ  la sanitΓ  padovana per settimane. Quanto si sta investendo sulla cyber security della sanitΓ ?

Sono giorni molto frustranti per chi lavora nell'ULSS 6 e per chi si serve di questa azienda sanitaria. Non so se riuscirΓ² a mettere abbastanza enfasi su quanto la situazione sia GRAVE.

La notte del 3 dicembre l'Ulss 6 Euganea del Veneto (sud di Padova) Γ¨ stata oggetto di un pesante attacco ransomware, vi lascio i link di qualche articolo che ne parla: (pochi e locali)

https://corrieredelveneto.corriere.it/padova/cronaca/21_dicembre_05/ricatto-hacker-all-usl-6-ospedali-caos-convocata-l-unita-crisi-baa9633e-55d9-11ec-9e73-1ece0a821338.shtml

https://www.padovaoggi.it/cronaca/attacco-hacker-ulss-6-euganea-padova-07-dicembre-2021.html

A quasi una settimana da questo attacco hacker, in tutta la provincia della bassa padovana non Γ¨ possibile prenotare visite (molte delle quali sono state annullate e rimandate a data da destinarsi), eseguire esami di laboratorio, accedere al fascicolo sanitario e ai propri referti, le ricette dematerializzate sono inservibili e non Γ¨ possibile nemmeno il tracciamento dei positivi al covid senza contare che in centinaia stanno aspettando i risultati di tamponi molecolari fatti nei giorni scorsi che non arriveranno piΓΉ. Pronto soccorso e i vari reparti stanno andando avanti a fatica tornando a carta e penna.

Data la mole di lavoro che si prospetta alla task force informatica per ricostruire da zero l'infrastruttura, i tempi di ripristino stimati per tornare alla normalitΓ  sono di un mese.

In tutto questo poi si aggiunge il fatto che nessuno ci sta informando se sono stati rubati dati personali, sappiamo solo che Γ¨ stato chiesta una cifra ricattatoria e che non verrΓ  pagata.

La cosa che piΓΉ mi spaventa Γ¨ che, dal punto di vista dell'informazione, se ne sta parlando poco a livello locale e per niente a livello nazionale quando invece dovrebbe esserci una discussione generalizzata su quanto sia fragile la sicurezza informatica delle aziende sanitarie. PerchΓ© in passato Γ¨ toccato alla regione Lazio, oggi a noi, e domani? La sanitΓ  sta diventando, o Γ¨ giΓ  diventata, una preda facile.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Caesar_VII
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2021
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SERIOUS: This subreddit needs to understand what a "dad joke" really means.

I don't want to step on anybody's toes here, but the amount of non-dad jokes here in this subreddit really annoys me. First of all, dad jokes CAN be NSFW, it clearly says so in the sub rules. Secondly, it doesn't automatically make it a dad joke if it's from a conversation between you and your child. Most importantly, the jokes that your CHILDREN tell YOU are not dad jokes. The point of a dad joke is that it's so cheesy only a dad who's trying to be funny would make such a joke. That's it. They are stupid plays on words, lame puns and so on. There has to be a clever pun or wordplay for it to be considered a dad joke.

Again, to all the fellow dads, I apologise if I'm sounding too harsh. But I just needed to get it off my chest.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anywhereiroa
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Gremlins - Free Market (2)

Tetley Station. Once, just a simple social experiment with its revolutionary Trunk based air and water filtration system, now one of the busiest trade and research stations for light years around.

It was also, half officially, the largest gathering of gremlins outside of their mythical home-world. Their presence were noted everywhere, from the crops growing to support the local population and travellers, to the unnaturally quick automated docking systems, to the simply mundane fact that not a single bulb of the station was burned out, let alone anything critical.

More often than not, travellers and newcomers to the Station would find something malfunctioning or glitching. Starting a countdown, they would watch intently until something, anything, ranging from a call from an unregistered user to a clatter of a vent caused them to look away. Bringing their eyes back to the system moments later, there were either new components or entire new bulbs gleaming away merrily in place of the burnt out tech.

Most gave up after their second attempt.

Pakezel was on his fifth try.

The immigration offices of Tetley were usually quiet, hardly any of the multitude of visitors needing to stay long term. Bureaucracy at its finest, even with his employer making deals and calling favours, he was still passed from department to department to fill out multiples of the same report. If he was asked for his hatching day one more time, he was going to screech…

β€œAnd you must be Pakezel. Over to your right big guy. Little more. Little more… Now look up. There you go.”

Subtly adjusting his gaze, following the directions through his handmade headset, the Salth swiftly found himself nodding briefly at an ajar vent cover, a vague shadow gesturing within.

β€œYour application is all processed. Buggers are just messing you around now. Boss told you where the shop is?”

He chirped softly in confirmation as he pretended to be engrossed in one of his fore talons. The receptionist currently applying dyes to her fronds briefly spared him a scathing glance before going back to wasting his time, applying a particularly garish shade of yellow on her neon green scales.

β€œOkay, good. Mind heading out the door and staying still for a bit? I’ll be right with you…”

Rising back onto all four talons, he stretched his wings out in a vague gesture of annoyance, dropped the application pad in front of the smirking secretary and made his way outside, keeping closer to the wall than necessary.

β€œAaaaan

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BigWuffle
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
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The human is bored: A Hive Queen's Rest

The Hive Queen was not sleeping well. Her dreams were violent, and not in the good way. Her body was ripped to shreds over and over again and she couldn't seem to wake up from the destruction. The worst part was she couldn't even see who was doing it, who was responsible for her dreamself's massacre.

Arms ripped from her body from behind, salvos of lead punching her soft gooey insides. Fire from above burning through the landscape as she ran for her life. Her own swarm advancing on her under the control of a rival queen. Transported to the depths of the ocean unable to swim to the surface. Every night was like this, and it was taking a toll on her psyche.

Thankfully she had taken care of the rival queen issues. Her slave queens, designed specifically to serve her, had a small network of drones interspersed among her own drones, with orders to capture, confirm, and murder any drones rising to challenge her. It was known among her species that any drone could become a queen. A drone destined to transform into a queen would molt early in the cycle, and begin hunting foods of a higher caliber than what they normally were allowed to eat. Small fleshy animals, thick starchy roots, and sometimes even cannibalism.

The extra energy was put towards generating her own hive gland, a large thorax which allowed for the force-able conversion and control of nearby drones. Drones that were taken over would then be used to hunt down the old Queen in order to complete the hostile takeover. This obviously created wars, a lot of them. Their history was filled with both small and large scale battles, some lasting tens of years long. Eventually though one queen would rise in power to such a degree that she could take over the entire planet's hive network. At that point the queen that had been lost would be captured, and eaten alive.

She had been the last victor, having taken over the global hive network by her cunning and intelligence. No other queen could stand up to her tactics, using small numbers to weaken from within. Constantly evolving strategies that the lesser queens had no chance of fighting against. This was her legacy. That same cunning had evolved into strategies to suppress and destroy queens before they had even begun to gain power.

She had enacted rules that no drone could be left alone, pairs at the very least. Any that were found without their pair were consumed where they stood. It took a long time before new queens began to slow in development. Faced wit

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/I-Own-A-Voice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Agent In The Woods, Family Ties. Final

(First: https://redd.it/pzjhec Previous: https://redd.it/rmgs5d)

When I woke, I was confused on what just happened. Slowly I came out of the darkness to my entire body throbbing in pain. My feet dangled and I was hanging by my shirt that been caught on a branch slowly ripping. The sound and the descent was what woke me. I was too groggy and sore to do anything but let my body drop. Hands caught me and guided me down to the ground. I couldn’t even keep my eyes open until I was safely on the grass. My ribs felt as if a few were broken. Breathing was painful but the ache in my head was clearing up. Forcing myself to sit up, I looked around to see myself in a world of over turned trees of pure white. It looked as if a bomb went over and bleached all the colors from around me. And the fading colors was slowly creeping along deeper into the forest.

Hans was curled up at the foot of the tree I'd dropped from. Not only did he protect me at the cost of nearly half his arms, he used his broken and injured ones to get me safely from out of the tree. I didn’t understand his actions. He was the one who tricked me into nearly getting killed in the first place. While I sat looking at his torn and injured body it all clicked.

Hans was being completely honest with me that night. He knew the risk of my life when he asked me to confront their parent. While we were in the clearing, he guided the conversation along so everything would be revealed without any of us being aware of it. All because he watched his younger brother suffer for so long. He couldn’t stand watching Tooley be under their parent’s thumb any longer and forced a conformation. I didn’t think he cared too much if I died or not. Only that things finally got resolved.

He opened his eyes to look over at me but was too weak to sit up. His body was torn and I found myself getting choked up over this monster. He could only lift one hand to place on my head in a kind gesture I didn’t think this creature would ever give a human.

β€œPlease... go save my brother.”

His hand dropped and eyes closed. It didn’t appear as if he was breathing but I’d seen a wolf get his head cut off and still live. I needed to believe that Hans would be alright. My chest burned from standing up and I nearly fell back over. After everything Hans sacrificed, the least I could do was walk forwards.

I clutched my ribs taking it one step at a time. I needed to walk around to go slowly over fallen trees. Everything was so white I wo

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/02321
πŸ“…︎ Dec 23 2021
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Molting Escape Tea: Force your opponent to use their brain, only for them to realize their despair at the hands of some of the weakest cards in the game
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πŸ‘€︎ u/XionZephyr
πŸ“…︎ Apr 30 2017
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Blind Girl Here. Give Me Your Best Blind Jokes!

Do your worst!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Leckzsluthor
πŸ“…︎ Jan 02 2022
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This subreddit is 10 years old now.

I'm surprised it hasn't decade.

πŸ‘︎ 14k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/frexyincdude
πŸ“…︎ Jan 14 2022
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TIL that egg-laying hens are often starved for as long as fourteen days at a time, in order to force them to molt their feathers simultaneously and thereby avoid the disruption of the egg laying process. upc-online.org/molting/
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πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2017
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So I just finished season one

An incompetent officer uses locals to assemble a band of brutal mercenaries to do the dirty work of an imperialist power while being covered from the press by friends in the government and big business hungry for natural resources. Did I understand the plot, more or less?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Al-Horesmi
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2021
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Dropped my best ever dad joke & no one was around to hear it

For context I'm a Refuse Driver (Garbage man) & today I was on food waste. After I'd tipped I was checking the wagon for any defects when I spotted a lone pea balanced on the lifts.

I said "hey look, an escaPEA"

No one near me but it didn't half make me laugh for a good hour or so!

Edit: I can't believe how much this has blown up. Thank you everyone I've had a blast reading through the replies πŸ˜‚

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Vegetable-Acadia
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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What starts with a W and ends with a T

It really does, I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 6k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PsychedeIic_Sheep
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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Why did Karen press Ctrl+Shift+Delete?

Because she wanted to see the task manager.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Eoussama
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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Places that became an important turning point for Sadera's defeat? (In your fic)

So this question is for the fic writers.

In your fic, what are the places in Falmart that you thought became a major factor or turning point for the downfall of the enemy?

An example is Italica playing that role giving Earth's forces a majority advantage since the place is a major trading and economic hub that the Empire also relies on.

For writers, how did you manage to show to the readers the scene of the enemy gradually losing control of the War and with the advantage of going to the protagonist forces, Due to the help of these places?

How did these places play a role that would usher in a chain reaction causing Sadera's defeat in the end? (In your fic)

Thank you for your thoughts :D

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Adventurous-Tax68
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2021
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What is a a bisexual person doing when they’re not dating anybody?

They’re on standbi

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Toby-the-Cactus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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What is the scariest tree?

BamBOO!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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Geddit? No? Only me?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/shampy311
πŸ“…︎ Dec 28 2021
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Humans are Weird - An Appealing Revelation

Humans are Weird – An Appealing Revelation

Original Post: http://www.authorbettyadams.com/bettys-blog/humans-are-weird-an-appealing-revelation

First Sister Northern adjusted her sheath skirt for perhaps the twentieth time and fought to keep her frill from flushing with irritated colors. The random booming of the scatter guns did not make the situation any easier. Her outer membrane was nearly a translucent pale green and while her betrothed insisted it was the most beautiful coloration he had ever seen, it was still irritating to know your emotions were being broadcast with such clarity that even the giant, lumbering bipedal aliens knew what you are feeling.

β€œCan I help you with that?” Third Brother asked as he swayed up to her.

First Sister Northern wondered what he thought he could do about a sheath skirt that was just a millimeter too small thanks to her most recent molt, but realized with a flush of embarrassment that he was talking about the crate she was attempting to balance with one arm.

β€œPlease,” she agreed with a curl of her antenna.

The human swept it up easily in one of his hands, and First Sister Northern marveled again at how the stubby human fingers managed to effect such delicate handling. He staretd out in the direction she had been going and First Sister Northern trotted along by his side. It was second nature by now to reach up and apply a quick pressure to Third Brother’s elbow when he was about to either wander off the path or stumble over a rock. It seemed to be second nature to Third Brother as well as he meekly, almost automatically responded to the touches that certainly had no power to force his movements.

β€œWhere does this need to go?” Third Brother asked.

β€œI was taking it to the vineyard on the south slope,” she replied, and the human grunted in acknowledgment.

There was an odd note to his voice. From her experience with humans First Sister Northern knew that it usually denoted extreme focus. As this human was notorious for the casual way he usually transported large and heavy items she doubted it was because he was focused on the task at hand. Therefore she wasn’t surprised to note that his binocular eyes were clearly not focused on anything in their immediate vicinity.

β€œIs there one of the flying predators over the eastern hills?” she asked.

The revelation that what the initial survey team had taken to be pollinators were act

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Betty-Adams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2021
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I wanna hear your best airplane puns.

Pilot on me!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Paulie_Felice
πŸ“…︎ Jan 07 2022
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E or ß?
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Amazekam
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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What did Spartacus say when the lion ate his wife?

Nothing, he was gladiator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/rj104
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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Pun intended.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sharmaji1301
πŸ“…︎ Jan 15 2022
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No spoilers
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Onfour
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2022
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Covid problems
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πŸ‘€︎ u/theincrediblebou
πŸ“…︎ Jan 12 2022
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These aren't dad jokes...

Dad jokes are supposed to be jokes you can tell a kid and they will understand it and find it funny.

This sub is mostly just NSFW puns now.

If it needs a NSFW tag it's not a dad joke. There should just be a NSFW puns subreddit for that.

Edit* I'm not replying any longer and turning off notifications but to all those that say "no one cares", there sure are a lot of you arguing about it. Maybe I'm wrong but you people don't need to be rude about it. If you really don't care, don't comment.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lance986
πŸ“…︎ Dec 15 2021
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So 2 trees got arrested in the town I live...

Heard they've been doing some shady business.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/K1ll47h3K1n9
πŸ“…︎ Jan 18 2022
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I am likely going to kill myself.

I want to preface this text by saying that I am delusional. I am almost entirely sure of it now. I am fairly certain that I have become delusional recently, in the last few years I believe, but it does not change that my accounts cannot be entirely trusted.

I have headaches. Migraines run in the family, but I also have cluster headaches. I have the migraines recurringly, every few weeks, but the cluster headaches come and go as they will, and I don’t have any idea of a pattern. Migraines are painful, but they pass, but the clusters are excruciating. There is pain, and there is pain. I often have the clusters around my eyes. When a cluster hits, there is nothing else. There is no you. There is only pain, pain, pain.

At first it is not so bad, it’s like a really bad throb in an area. Then it starts feeling piercing. The pain starts out like someone piercing your head with an ice-pick, repeatedly. Every heartbeat they hit again. Then you start feeling the intricacies of the movement when they have landed in your head, every vibration you can feel how they scramble your brain, and every nerve, every telomere that make up that mass is transformed into shattered glass. Slowly you brain becomes a soup of glass shards, ripping and tearing your insides apart with every throb. And you realize that those glass shards are you, and with every pull out of the ice-pick it is dragging those small mosaic pieces of you out of your skull. You try to scramble to hold them in from flying out the hole in your head, but there is no feeling anymore, no sense, no idea of who you are. The only thing that exists are you as those shards of glass, slowly being pulverized by every throb. Slowly being pulled out of year head.

It just continues. For decades. For millennia. There is no concept of time. There is only you and the pain. That ever-precent throbbing. The lines between what is you, what is pain and what is else slowly blurs. Pain, pain, pain. Nothing else exists.

At some point it starts to fade. Slowly you start coming back to yourself. Becoming something. But you are not you anymore. You lost some of those shards of you out of your head, and the mosaic that was you, don’t quite fit anymore. You’re like an abstract paint of what was you, some sadistic joke of you looked like. Some of Pablo Picassos self portraits in his later years captures this feeling.

(I would have a link here to some examples of what I mean, but links are not allowed)

You come back into

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SNTACV
πŸ“…︎ Jan 16 2022
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Spi__
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Fast_Echidna_8520
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2022
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I dislike karma whores who make posts that imply it's their cake day, simply for upvotes.

I won't be doing that today!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/djcarves
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2021
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For Gotham
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πŸ‘€︎ u/FreeHugsXD
πŸ“…︎ Jan 17 2022
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The Ancient Romans II
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mordrathe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2021
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I had a vasectomy because I didn’t want any kids.

When I got home, they were still there.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/demotrek
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2022
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What did 0 say to 8 ?

What did 0 say to 8 ?

" Nice Belt "

So What did 3 say to 8 ?

" Hey, you two stop making out "

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πŸ‘€︎ u/designjeevan
πŸ“…︎ Jan 03 2022
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