Research shows that left handed people waste more food than right handed people

Otherwise, rightovers would be a word.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/supra_elongata
πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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To reduce waste, our city has told food truck drivers they must donate all unsold items each night.

I applaud the effort, but given how little space the trucks have in the first place, it seems like there's really not much room for waste to begin with. So, I've gotta ask...

How much food would a good truck chuck if a food truck could chuck food?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zekesnack
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2020
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Don't waste too much money on food.

That investment always turns to shit.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Kopextacy
πŸ“…︎ Aug 03 2016
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FiancΓ©e: I'm full, but I don't want to waste the rest of this food.

Well, it's either going to go to waste or go to waist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kuroiryu146
πŸ“…︎ Jul 27 2015
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If you clean your plate to avoid food going to waste...

it goes to waist.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flaspike
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2016
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Got my wife with a few in a row while my daughter was at her dance class..

So, my wife was telling about how disappointed she was at our kindergartener's "Spring Fling" party this year. She described this one "activity" Where the kids throw a roll of toilet paper and try to ring a toilet.

I remarked "Wow.. that -is- pretty shitty!" And she scolded me for using foul language. "Yea.. sorry for the potty mouth... I'll water it down next time.."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/breakone9r
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2014
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My dad just told me a joke he told about 2012

Back before the world was supposed to end on Dec. 21st, 2012 a friend, and employee, of my fathers was certain the world would end. He quit his job, built a bomb shelter, and stocked it with enough canned food and guns for years.

When the world didn't end he called up my dad all pissed off that he wasted all his money on this stuff and he didn't need it, and my dads response:

"Hey man, just relax, it's not the end of the world."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Great_SaiyaMan
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2015
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My uncle's not a dad, but he could barely contain himself from this one...

My uncle posted a status that his wife finally got granted citizenship:

Uncle: Today, Mrs. [wife] is an American citizen! She is now legally allowed to waste food, hate foreigners and accept Jesus as lord and savior

Dad: And bear arms... can't forget that part.

Uncle: She doesn't have bear arms... she shaves.

(No offense intended)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/platypossamous
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2014
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Dad joked coworker. Not good at telling stories.

My coworker offered me their sandwich because I forgot my food and they had already eaten.

A friend dropped off a snack, but it wasn't enough to hold me over through my shift. The sandwich coworker was going home and handed me his sandwich before he left saying, "you better eat this whole thing."

So, I ate it during that shift. I walked in and saw him the next day. He asked, "did you eat that sandwich from yesterday?" I said "Yeah thanks" he said "Good, because you didn't have a choice, i would've been pissed if you wasted it" to which i responded, "Yeah it turned into a duty"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kalcif
πŸ“…︎ Apr 16 2014
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