So the flounder was chatting with his eel friend and asked, "Have you heard about the new twin squid?" And the eel replied...

"Yeah, I heard they were totally i-tentacle!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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What did one flounder say to the other?

That’s a side of you I haven’t seen before.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flibberty-boop
πŸ“…︎ Feb 01 2019
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My wife were talking about my swimming ability:

Her: "You're a pretty strong swimmer"

Me: "Yeah but I never learned butterfly stroke"

Her: "Butterfly? You just...wing it"

We both looked at each other and snickered like children.

Title Edit: "My wife and I were talking"*

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πŸ‘€︎ u/unwilling_pizza
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2021
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My friend was floundering along till he met his amputee girlfriend.

She single-handedly changed his life.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 06 2018
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I finally found my sea joke book!

I thought I lobster, and never flounder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JayNsilentBoom
πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2021
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I was hit by a bottle of Omega-3 capsules

Luckily, I only suffered super fish oil injuries

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JoshPlaysUltimate
πŸ“…︎ Aug 25 2020
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Pixar is making a Finding Nemo sequel where he opens McDonald’s locations on the ocean floor.

It’s called The Flounder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/whaddayagondo
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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Why did the fish fail school?

He was below c level

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oisgray
πŸ“…︎ May 13 2020
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I once caught a fish with a hundred dollar bill in its mouth.

I know this story may sound a little fishy, some of you may even consider it a whale of a tale, but if you take it in tide I’m sure you’ll sea the porpoise isn’t me just beingkoi or * squidding* around or fishing for attention; it was shrimply an act of cod that I’m hooked on sharing with others. If it reely makes anyone crabby or puts me on thin ice, just let minnow and I’ll gladly clam up. I’d hate to see this sub flounder or take a dive because of my own shellfish ambitions.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MC_Minnow
πŸ“…︎ Jun 20 2020
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Do you know why the horse stalls at a racetrack are labelled A, B, D, E, and F?

Because no one would bet on a seahorse.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stretch85
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2016
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if you can think of a better fish pun

let minnow.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/SoNotCool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 20 2016
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I was walking down a pier and saw someone fishing for halibut.

My brother: why was he fishing............for the halibut!

I am dead

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bobdoodlesmerf
πŸ“…︎ Apr 18 2019
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I was going to make a fish joke here...

But I don't think it's the right plaice to. I feel like I'll just flounder. I'm a dab hand with bad puns, though I'm probably gonna look like a right bass. I trout this'll be very popular. I mean, sal-mon, it's pretty bad. I think I need to tuna bit of it. I should ask my friend Hali-but she's probably busy. So no dice.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wolfyfancylads
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2019
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Do you know why i hate bottom feeders

Because there all shellfish

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πŸ‘€︎ u/goodstuff32
πŸ“…︎ Oct 10 2018
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My wife got me with a Killer joke tonight.

We were talking about what kind of fish we had to cook for dinner and she said: β™ͺ "I've got sole but I'm not a flounder."β™ͺ

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kyledeb
πŸ“…︎ Jun 02 2019
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I just want you guys to know....

My friend and I are planning on starting a seafood shop on the beach called "Standoffish Stand of Fish". We will be the rudest, most clever staff of any restaurant, ever.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MarkTraceur
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2012
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Fishing trip

A friend of mine got lost on our fishing trip, it's okay though we flounder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Promethio130
πŸ“…︎ Dec 03 2018
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I'm really bad with fish names.

Everytime I try to think of one, I flounder.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PDRugby
πŸ“…︎ Sep 16 2017
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asking for a loan

Mr. Sterling Frogsen was desperate. After a few months of success, his bakery was beginning to flounder and running in the red. He was a proud man who was proud of starting his small business without asking for any help. But now times were tough and he had to face the fact that without a loan his bakery was doomed.

So he went to local bank but was disheartened to see that the loan officer was the notorious Patricia Wacomb, the hard-nosed banker who only agreed to sure bets and rarely took risks.

"Please, ma'am, I am in sore need of this loan! My bakery is only going through a temporary setback!" Normally such pleas fell on deaf ears, but today Patricia was feeling generous. Something about Mr. Frogsen moved her and she believed his plight.

"Mr. Frogsen, I would approve this loan, but this bank cannot afford to take any risks."

"Is there anything you can do, Ms. Wacomb? I am desperate!"

"Well, do you have any collateral?"

"Only this family heirloom," Sterling responded while handing Patricia his prized family treasure. Patricia was at a loss, however, for she had never seen anything like that before.

"Let me ask my manager," she responded as she showed her director the prized heirloom. His eyes opened wide in amazement as he told her,

"It's a knick-knack, Patty Wack, now give the Frog a loan!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mxwp
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2017
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It's so sad that aquarium is having financial troubles...

Some might say its floundering

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sendtobo
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2013
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I hope you're proud of yourself Dad

My little brother was fascinated by the picture of the 466 lb flounder that has been going around lately and I told him my dad would be interested. Little bro: "Look at how big this fish is dad!" Pops: "That is an absolute shame, you shouldn't be supporting that." Little bro: "Why? Are they not going to eat it?" Pops: "No. They do it just for the halibut." Me: [audible sigh]

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnfuckindenver
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2014
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Since we're on fish puns...

We took a plastic fish to a marching rehearsal at my university last year. Afterwards, we proceeded to have a conversation that was one pun after another.

"Fish. That is all."

"Just for the halibut."

"Oh for the love of cod, can we not bring this here?"

"Seriously, I will krill every last one of you."

"I'm not squidding with you guys. This scampi happening any more."

"Sorry. I couldn't resist the oppor-tuna-ty."

"You're floundering."

"Why, pollocks! I'm just getting started!"

"Don't worry. His shark is worse than his bite."

"Don't trout my pun ability."

"'Pun ability' my bass! You wouldn't know a fish joke if it sprat you in the eye!"

"I might need to go see a sturgeon. These jokes are killing me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jaws9182
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
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