Flee Puns

It had goosebumps

"Wait. How did you know that he was from Spain?"

"I saw it in his panic"

At the flee market.

After discovering he'd been given a parking ticket, the giant exclaimed in disappointment as he approached his house. This startled a burglar inside, causing him to flee from the property but not before trapping his stubby digit in the door, causing him to leave blood at the scene. Thankfully, the giant's powerful nasal abilities allowed him to aid police as he was able to detected the exact nationality and gender of the robber in question. When interviewed, the giant simplified the story for us by saying,

"Fee, Fie, Foe, Thumb, I smell the blood of an English Man."

One makes your ghosts flee and the other makes your fleas ghosts.

“Let’s flee!” Said the fly,

“Let’s fly!” Said the flea,

And they flew through a flaw in the flue...

Pilgrims!

Get it?

A large dog, and a tiny dog. He knows that he can only catch one, because the other will flee before he can catch it. Which dog does he catch, and why?

A. The large dog, because it weighs more. (Dog catchers are paid by the pound.)

I'm avoiding it by fleeing to a non-extradish'n country.

Suddenly the dinosaur comes charging at them and they both flee. The first shouts "what kind of dinosaur IS that?" The other responds "Hemustasaurus"

“I hope it doesn’t flee.”

The flee market

I set my items on the counter, and the cashier starts ringing them up one after another while I wait patiently. I notice the guy in line behind me a few people still acting a little weird, antsy is how I would describe it.

Anyways, the cashier snaps me out of my thoughts by telling me my total and as I go to reach for my wallet, I see the guy dashing out the door.... as in transfixed on his fleeing image, my hand reaches my pocket and I realize he's stolen my wallet!

I make a mad dash for him, chasing him down in the middle of the parking lot. He reaches his vehicle at the other end and as he hops in, I catch up to him and I'm able to grab his leg. I start pulling his leg and pulling his leg harder and harder trying to get him out.

I keep pulling his leg very similarly to how I've been pulling your leg for the last minute.

He has flees.

I grabbed a powercunch bar out of the cabinet, my wife turns as says "Stop you have a problem" to which I replied "Yo, i'll solve it check out the hook while my DJ revolves it" then proceeded to stuff it in my mouth whilst trying to flee.

My father and I were talking about Standing Rock and he says to me "It is such a shame what they are doing to those poor people, I had a Native American friend back when I worked a summer repairing light fixtures, his name was Many Hands." It took me a second to notice the shit eating grin on his face, I already knew I was going to have to hold my nose and flee the room when he says, "You know, because Many Hands makes light work."

Once I caught them, I washed them both with anti-flee shampoo. That should stop them from doing it again.