How do you reject someone who wants to elope?

Give them a cantaloupe.

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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/WistfulEccentricity
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 02 2021
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Can’t Elope

A man fell in love with a melon and they wanted to get married, but they cantaloupe!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/NoLoMoXI
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 30 2020
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Did you hear about the 2 Tow Truck drivers who wanted to elope?

They got hitched.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/acherem13
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 15 2020
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Two antlers got married

They ant-eloped.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 3
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Le_DERp_Diego
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 27 2021
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What's a fancy term for coders being poached from a company?

Dev elopment

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/SwedishHouseCaviar
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 09 2021
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I was driving through Las Vegas when I saw an ant riding a gazelle to a wedding chapel.

It was my first time seeing an ant elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Cobclob
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 10 2021
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2 fruits were struggling to get married

I guess they can't elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/BlackShadow153
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 18 2020
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I’m reading a book about these two melons that have a forbidden love. They’ve tried to run away together many times, but are caught every time.

It seems that no matter how hard they try, they just can’t-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 144
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FunkyFaz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 05 2020
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Why did the melons run away and get married instead of have a big church wedding like their parents wanted?

Because they could elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/bunsofsteel_MRI_boy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 10 2020
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Which melon is unable to secretly marry?

Can't Elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 21
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/darkanine9
πŸ“…οΈŽ Nov 09 2020
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Why can't melons get married

Because they're can't- elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/perrytheboss
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 05 2020
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What do u call a melon that cant marry?

Cant-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/13harry09
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 15 2020
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What do call a melon that has to get married in a church?

Cant-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/whynotmakeprojects
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 12 2020
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Get it?
πŸ‘οΈŽ 50
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/jeffreynbooboo
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 06 2019
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Why do melons have such big planned weddings?

They can't elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/The_Gold_Phoenix65
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 09 2020
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Long story about a tragedy that once happened to me.

A couple of years ago, one night, I was about to propose to my girlfriend when my roommate Joseph barged into the porch out of nowhere, tripped and fell over, breaking a glass table with his face. Totally ruined the mood. Now, I didn't know Joseph THAT well, don't even remember where he was from, but let' just say I put my plans on hold to help him through his injuries.

Joseph had gotten big glass shard in his eye, making him completely blind in that eye. He was walking around with one of those cotton pads on his eye for a couple of months. Then suddenly, he disappeared, along with my girlfriend

Apparently they'd bonded during the time after his injuries, and eloped together , left me behind without as much as a note. I tried to track them down, but never could.

In conclusion, if it hadn't been for cotton eye Joe, I'd have been married a long time ago. Where did you come from, where did you go? Where did you come from, cotton eye Joe?

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mickerallen100
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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I was passing by my son's bedroom and was astonished to see the bed was nicely made and everything was picked up…

Then, I saw an envelope, propped up prominently on the pillow.

It was addressed, 'Dad'.

With the worst premonition, I opened the envelope and read the letter, with trembling hands:

"Dear, Dad.

It is with great regret and sorrow that I'm writing you.

I had to elope with my new girlfriend, because I wanted to avoid a scene with Mom and you.

I've been finding real passion with Stacy.

She is so nice, but I knew you would not approve of her because of all her piercing's, tattoos, her tight motorcycle clothes and because she is so much older than I am.

But it's not only the passion, Dad.

She's pregnant.

Stacy said that we will be very happy.

She owns a trailer in the woods, and has a stack of firewood for the whole winter.

We share a dream of having many more children.

Stacy has opened my eyes to the fact that marijuana doesn't really hurt anyone.

We'll be growing it for ourselves and trading it with the other people in the commune for all the cocaine and ecstasy we want.

In the meantime, we'll pray that science will find a cure for AIDS so that Stacy can get better.

She sure deserves it!

Don't worry Dad, I'm 15, and I know how to take care of myself.

Someday, I'm sure we'll be back to visit so you can get to know your many grandchildren.

Love, your son, Joshua.

P.S. Dad, none of the above is true.

I'm over at Jason's house.

I just wanted to remind you that there are worse things in life than the school report that's on the kitchen table.

Call when it is safe for me to come home!"

show more
πŸ‘οΈŽ 8k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/madazzahatter
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 01 2017
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What is Romeo and Juliet's least favorite fruit?

Can't-elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ItsNotLongNow
πŸ“…οΈŽ Oct 08 2017
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What would Romeo & Juliet’s parents say if they were melons?

You can’t elope!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/mrscluna
πŸ“…οΈŽ May 12 2020
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Why did the melons have such an expensive wedding?

..because they cant-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/thsebrightlights
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 26 2020
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What did the cantaloupe name his daughter?

Melony

πŸ‘οΈŽ 1k
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/cbreezy123
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 11 2015
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Why were the pair of melons sad?

Because they can’t elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/ManbearpigDa
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 24 2020
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Whats a wife's favorite food when she's stuck at home for her wedding?

Cant elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 10
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/itsovernat20
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 19 2020
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Why is the melon sad that he has to wait to get married?

He can't elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/durtymccurdy
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jan 21 2020
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Required to have a local wedding imgur.com/tn55IvY
πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/djeclipz
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 13 2018
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What kind of melon is traditionally served at weddings?

Cantaloupe (can’t elope)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 2
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/hopkinsa17
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 23 2018
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Want To See an Antelope? [X-Post from /r/calvinandhobbes]
πŸ‘οΈŽ 184
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FA1R_ENOUGH
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 22 2013
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Two letters fell in love, but their parents wouldn't approve of their marriage.

The solution: EnvELOPE.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 5
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Bonanza86
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 23 2018
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What do you call a cantaloupe that runs off to get married?

A can-elope!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/badboy236
πŸ“…οΈŽ Sep 24 2018
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What kind of fruit do you serve to the couple whose family forces them to have a big wedding?

Can’t elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 13
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Coneskater
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 02 2019
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What fruit can't get married?

a Cant-elope!

πŸ‘οΈŽ 14
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/raisonhell
πŸ“…οΈŽ Feb 13 2019
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Two melons fell in love

They were sad though, because they can't-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Kashindabank
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 28 2019
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Once upon a time There was a grape and a melon who had a date

The conversation was prety dry, so the grape begun raisin some questions

"Where do you see this relationship going?" he asked

"Look, i may not have my perents consent, but i think we are a nice pear, so don't think i can't-elope"

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/etay1903
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 29 2018
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What do you call a fruit that isn’t allowed to get married?

A cantaloupe (can’t elope)

πŸ‘οΈŽ 8
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/tkstormkt
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 15 2018
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What did the melon’s mom say to her daughter when she wanted to run off and get married?

You can’t elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/atom644
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 29 2019
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What food would they serve at Romeo and Juliet's wedding?

Cant-elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 27
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Breakfast_Explosion
πŸ“…οΈŽ Dec 28 2017
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Why can't melons get married in secret?

They cant elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 7
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/charadreemurrRMB
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jul 14 2020
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Why do melons always get married in a church?

Because they can’t elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 9
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Indoorsman101
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 25 2020
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What do you call a melon that never got married?

A cant-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 16
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/worthlessgold_51
πŸ“…οΈŽ Apr 03 2020
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What is the most faithful fruit?

The can't-elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 96
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/magniankh
πŸ“…οΈŽ Aug 31 2016
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Two melons want to get married...

But they can't elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 6
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/LeeHarvey1963
πŸ“…οΈŽ Mar 18 2019
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Melons can get married

But they can’t elope.

πŸ‘οΈŽ 4
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/FilthyDesertRat
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 27 2019
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Why did the melon get married at home?

Can't elope

πŸ‘οΈŽ 22
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πŸ‘€οΈŽ u/Charlieb2007
πŸ“…οΈŽ Jun 21 2019
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