What's the proper way to do fingering?

With a finger ring

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ThunderAlex2
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2020
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What is the opposite of Ladies fingers?

Mentos

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I’m okay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/B1RDS-ARENT-REAL
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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What has 5 fingers, but isn't your hand?

My hand.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Such-Fig-3879
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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I broke a finger today.

Well, on the other hand, I'm okay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/souljaboyalter
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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I bought a container of protein powder, but then had to spend several seconds with my fingers knuckle-deep in the powder itself, trying to fish out the little plastic scoop that’s included.

Man I’m glad that’s out of the whey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/astrosmash77
πŸ“…︎ Apr 17 2021
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I hurt my finger playing Minecraft

It’s okay. Just a minor injury

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Nickatier_Carbs
πŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2021
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What is the worst part about losing your index finger?

There is no point to your hand anymore

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheCager100
πŸ“…︎ Apr 07 2021
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We got a new microwave at work. After heating my food for the first time in the new microwave I go to my colleagues and say to them "I just cut my fingers on the new microwave!"

They all startled "what happened?" I reply "it's Sharp!"

They murmured something and left the room...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KM130
πŸ“…︎ Apr 15 2021
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I had to break up with this girl who just would not stop counting.

I wonder what she’s up to now.

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jfshay
πŸ“…︎ Apr 04 2021
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Pull my finger
  • high ass pitch *

MUNYANYOOOOOO

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dabaroonskii
πŸ“…︎ Apr 13 2021
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What did the electrician say when his kid stuck his finger in the socket?

You're grounded!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WabashCannibal
πŸ“…︎ Mar 12 2021
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If given the choice of which part of your face to insert a finger,

Would you pick your nose?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cabbithunt
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2021
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Why would a Proctologist use 2 fingers during an exam?

To get a second opinion

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Flo_ren_tine
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2021
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I was trying to learn how to snap my fingers...

and then it clicked!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/1toom
πŸ“…︎ Mar 09 2021
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You’re not just pulling a finger...

You’re priming a joke machine!

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2021
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If a gardener has green fingers what does a hacker have?

Cryptoes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Meerkat6074
πŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2021
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A Roman walks into a bar, holds up two fingers, and says

β€œFive beers, please.”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VVIIVVI
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2020
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But dad, Tommy's father lets him eat his fries with his fingers!

He's wrong, son. The fingers should be eaten separately.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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What did the thumb say to the finger?

I'm in glove with you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Neutraliscool
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2020
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I cut my finger chopping cheese

but I think that I may have grater problems.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/lolyfe-dc
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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My wife asked me if I could sing all the songs from the Shrek soundtrack. I said "No, just some."

"... BODY once told me..."

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 30 2021
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My daughter broke her finger today,

but on the other hand she was completely fine.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/theuselessfuck
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2020
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What do you call an extra finger?

I don’t know, but you can always count on it more than the others.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/damenleeturks
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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How many fingers does it take to make an octopus laugh?

Ten Tickles

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RootbeerDreams
πŸ“…︎ Dec 27 2020
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"There are five types of people..." *holds up two fingers *

Those who understand roman numerals, and those who don't...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mike_OxonFaier
πŸ“…︎ Jan 11 2021
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What do you call an artist with brown fingers ?

Pickasso.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 11 2020
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A friend of mine cut his finger off at work...

I suppose he'll be getting severance pay.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shdchko
πŸ“…︎ Nov 12 2020
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A roman walks into a bar and holds up 2 fingers.

"I'll take 5 beers, please " he said.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/kriskidd21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2020
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I have a scar from an axe on my finger

It was an axident

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mrkapid
πŸ“…︎ Oct 08 2020
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Why did the baker have brown fingers?

He kneaded a jobby

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RandomiseUsr0
πŸ“…︎ Nov 14 2020
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What works faster than a calculator?

A calcu-now.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mewmewgoo
πŸ“…︎ Mar 27 2021
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Why did the musician go to jail?

He punched A minor

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RVK_WAFFLE
πŸ“…︎ Mar 26 2021
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"Your underwear is much too tight and very revealing." I said to my wife.

She said, "Wear your own then, dickhead."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Dec 07 2020
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There is nothing stronger than a finger gun...

except for a hand gun.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/anbre_
πŸ“…︎ Dec 17 2020
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Mt oldest is getting to be pretty good at using my own jokes against me when I'm not expecting.

Kid: Hey dad, look at that! (Points with his finger to something off in the distance.)

Me: (Looking in direction he's pointing) What? Where? I don't see anything.

Kid: (Still pointing) Right there, look, you see it?

Me: (Still looking, getting annoyed that I don't see it) WHAT? What is it??

Kid: (Holding up the same finger) It's my finger!

I have been doing this to him recently and it always gets him. I love that he's able to totally get me with it now.

Edit: MY oldest, not Mt oldest. Not sure what the oldest mountain is, but it probably isn't as funny as my oldest kid is becoming.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/flash17k
πŸ“…︎ Apr 09 2021
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don't stick your finger in crazy
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πŸ‘€︎ u/floofysox
πŸ“…︎ Jun 25 2020
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Broke ny finger today

On the other hand i am ok

πŸ‘︎ 11k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ahmed8117600
πŸ“…︎ Dec 06 2020
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What is the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/VERBERD
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2021
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What's the opposite of Lady Fingers?

Mentos

πŸ‘︎ 55
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JonnySwo
πŸ“…︎ Jan 29 2021
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I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand, I'm okay.

πŸ‘︎ 24
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πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2021
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I broke my finger last week.

On the other hand I'm ok.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Dreadaussie
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2020
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I just broke my finger...

But on the other hand, I’m okay.

πŸ‘︎ 51
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Lickslicki538
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2020
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What is the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/nathanhasse
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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What’s the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tevvi94
πŸ“…︎ Dec 04 2020
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What’s the opposite of Lady Fingers?

Mentos.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Canooter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 21 2020
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What’s the opposite of lady fingers?

Mentos.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/im_the_clone
πŸ“…︎ Nov 20 2020
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What’s the opposite of lady fingers

Mentos

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Connor0388
πŸ“…︎ Nov 17 2020
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