Ey yo ese, what was the name of that P.I again?

His name was Sherlock, holmes.

👍︎ 14
💬︎
📅︎ Nov 22 2019
🚨︎ report
"Ey Tony, get the
👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Aug 28 2019
🚨︎ report
My SO gave me a pitying look when I said ‘ look Canadian bras. What are Dees ey?’
👍︎ 6
💬︎
📅︎ Apr 11 2019
🚨︎ report
Ey yo man, fo real doe

I'd probably suggest going to the restaurant on Sullivan, they catch and prepare deer fresh daily.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 14 2019
🚨︎ report
Money Puns are Pun-ey
👍︎ 19
💬︎
📅︎ Jul 08 2018
🚨︎ report
My two sons were throwing scrabble pieces at each other.

My wife said, "It's all fun until someone loses an "I".

👍︎ 39
💬︎
👤︎ u/elster000
📅︎ Jan 19 2021
🚨︎ report
What's a bird's favourite sport?

Hawk-ey!

👍︎ 4
💬︎
📅︎ Sep 24 2020
🚨︎ report
When blood comes out when you pee,

you know urine trouble.

👍︎ 20
💬︎
👤︎ u/Circuited
📅︎ Feb 05 2019
🚨︎ report
My mom's sisters said they are immune to all viruses.

They said it's because of their aunt-ey bodies.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
👤︎ u/enganere
📅︎ Mar 16 2020
🚨︎ report
Why did the dad buy a gate?

Because he thought it was a-door-able.

👍︎ 3
💬︎
👤︎ u/Pdonkey
📅︎ Dec 25 2018
🚨︎ report
How do the monsters that hide beneath bridges get to work?...

...They ride the Troll-ey.

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/boop66
📅︎ Nov 15 2019
🚨︎ report
How did Canada get it’s name

The leader of the country pull random letters and announced them first he drew a C so he said “C ey” then he drew a N so he said “N ey” then he drew a D so he said “D ey” and ever since then it’s been called Canada

👍︎ 5
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 02 2019
🚨︎ report
Which animal species is the most religious?

MONK-eys

👍︎ 4
💬︎
👤︎ u/Bully90
📅︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What's a tortilla chip's favorite game at the state fair?

Whack-a-mol-ey

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What did the Canadian karate student say when he was complaining about his teacher?

His punishments never make any sense, ey

I don't know why I thought of that while brushing my teeth late at night but I'm glad I did. haha punishments, I didnt even realise its a 2 in 1 pun. I can now go to sleep knowing I have reached the zenit of my comedic career.

👍︎ 8
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 21 2017
🚨︎ report
My Grandfather's Quarter Pounder

Here is an image of my Grandfather's QuarterPounder. He made it probably 20 years ago - the quarter is from 1994. Grandpa said that he saw something that looked like this in a novelty shop somewhere and decided to improve the design a bit.

👍︎ 181
💬︎
📅︎ Mar 28 2016
🚨︎ report
Cock and sperm joke for kids

(This joke just deserved a more catchy title, sorry for the mess.)

Every Tuesday growing up, we had German sausages and sauerkraut for dinner - my dad's favorite. Since I can remember, my dad has told this joke and never misses a chance telling it till this day:

"You know kids, it's not the sausage that makes you fat, it's the sauce!"

Both my younger sister and l looked at eachother, rolled our eyes and thought - why is he telling this joke every single time.. it doesnt make sense! There is no sauce here! Only fried sausages, sauerkraut and potatoes. In fact, where is the goddamn sauce, we could need it. This dish is dry as shit! My poor mom shrugged her shoulders, seemingly just as confused.

When i was about 11-12, I caught up on my dad's hinting and eye contact after the punch line.. he wanted me to get the joke so bad at this point lol. I had a moment, as they say. Oh... OOHH. BOOM. Omg the "SAUCE"!! From the sausage.. makes some people fat.. as in pregnant.. Mind. Blown.

My sister, around 8 at that time, had a few hundred more sausage dinners to "ketchup" ;) I'm not doing so bad myself, 'ey?

Edit: For the slow people out there, this joke is about sausage=penis, sauce=sperm and getting fat=pregnant. Did you have your moment too?? Admittingly, the joke works better in my native language, but you get the idea.

👍︎ 7
💬︎
📅︎ Jun 09 2015
🚨︎ report
My coach had a dad joke.

One of my teammates wanted his attention, but had been ignored so far. Then, I witnessed this gold.

Friend: Coach, Coach! Ey!

Coach: B!

Everyone groaned while my coach giggled like a school girl.

👍︎ 12
💬︎
📅︎ May 22 2014
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.