Where do Great Old Ones expose their art

The Cthu'Louvre

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Narcobabouin
πŸ“…︎ Feb 24 2022
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Don’t expose yourself to loud frequencies for too long...

Trust me, it Hz.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Mitchinatr
πŸ“…︎ Nov 26 2020
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Eduardo Moreno tried to crash his train into a Navy hospital ship to expose a supposed conspiracy

That’s a crime with a loco motive

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πŸ‘€︎ u/shantron5000
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2020
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My dentist promised me he won't expose any of my treatments...

He said they're all confidental

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dubaidadjokes
πŸ“…︎ Jul 28 2020
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Someone tried to expose corruption in my elevator company.

I told them "You're going down."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DemonLordMammon
πŸ“…︎ Jan 27 2019
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What did the corn say when its kernels were exposed?

Aww, shucks!

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πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2022
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Exposed Wires

What you see will shock you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AndySkibba
πŸ“…︎ Mar 18 2022
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The more I'm exposed to the Johnny/Amber trial...

...the more I feel I'll get Heard immunity.

:)

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πŸ‘€︎ u/abortizjr
πŸ“…︎ May 18 2022
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Why did the ghost get arrested?

For possession

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2022
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What do you call a nintendo employee that exposes company secrets ?

a nintendo snitch

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MedSabkhi21
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2021
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What is Bigfoot’s favorite exercise?

Sasquats

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cbsmooz
πŸ“…︎ May 28 2022
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There was a photo shoot going on with some models.

All the models were exposed.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/diverwatchfan
πŸ“…︎ Oct 14 2022
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A woman in a bikini exposes 90% of her body.

But I'm so polite, I only look at the covered 10%.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wimpykidfan37
πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2021
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Did you hear about the grizzly who didn't like his daughter wearing a crop top?

He disapproved of her exposing her bear midriff.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cockneybastard
πŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2022
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A couple gets exposed to radiation at Chernobyl, call that a toxic relationship
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πŸ‘€︎ u/laclotaclo
πŸ“…︎ Feb 16 2021
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Two of my favorite traffic/cop jokes ever

Old family jokes, which means I’m sure variations are out there for both of them that most of you have heard

#1- an elderly woman is watching her normal sitcoms when suddenly the news cuts into her show to show live footage of a madman driving the wrong way on the interstate! Worried sick, she calls her husband, and says β€œhoney, there’s a madman driving the wrong way on the highway! Be careful on your way home!” Her husband responds irritated, β€œwhat are you talking about? There’s not only one madman! There are hundreds of them!”

#2- a cop pulls over a man who was speeding. He approaches the car and asks for license and registration. The driver says, β€œI’m sorry officer, I can’t do that! You see, this car is stolen so the registration isn’t under my name! Also, the gun I used to steal the car is in there and I wouldn’t want you to be uncomfortable!”

The cop is obviously a bit flustered, and asks for the man to roll down his back windows to look in the backseat. The man replies, β€œhonestly officer that’s impossible, as I have 10 kilos of cocaine in the footwells and don’t want to expose them to outside!”

At this point the cop is quite worried and has his gun drawn, asking the driver to open the trunk! The driver replies β€œofficer, I’m afraid I can’t do that due to the two bodies I have in my trunk!”

At this, the officer runs back to his car and radios for backup.

After about 10 minutes, the police sergeant drives up and with his gun drawn asks the man for his license and registration. The driver says, β€œabsolutely sergeant, no problem” and hands him a perfectly normal and legal registration and license.

The sergeant then says, β€œand I hear you have drugs in the back seat!”

β€œOh not at all, sergeant!” Says the man, opening the back window. The car is very clean and the footwells empty.

Confused, the sergeant then asks: β€œwhat about your trunk? I hear you have two dead bodies in there?”

β€œNot at all officer”, says the man, β€œonly my groceries!” Popping the trunk, it’s obvious there’s nothing wrong with the driver or the vehicle.

β€œI don’t understand; my officer told me you told him all of these things. What’s going on?!”

The driver responds β€œI bet he told you I was speeding, too, didn’t he?”

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wreckingjew
πŸ“…︎ May 30 2022
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Why are ten year olds wearing shorts vulnerable?

They have exposed kidneys

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πŸ‘€︎ u/pirahno
πŸ“…︎ Feb 05 2022
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Apparently bees are allergic to pollen.

When exposed to pollen, bees develop hives.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Ixz72
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2022
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Exposed

Girl: I love to laugh...tell me a pun Me: I'll expose you to so many puns you'll have to call it punography

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πŸ‘€︎ u/wrinkly_rooster96
πŸ“…︎ Mar 01 2020
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My local paper has done amazing work in exposing corruption in our local chicken farms.

They deserve a pullet-zer prize.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Rossum81
πŸ“…︎ Sep 15 2020
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Please refrain from exposing your bling in public places...
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πŸ‘€︎ u/PunPics
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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Why don't ducks squat in the gym?

Because they are afraid they will expose their butt quack.

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πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2022
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I was showing off my hibiscus plants to my neighbor, he says the roots are exposed, and I should get more dirt on them.

So I found out they were both having affairs, and stealing from their company's fundraisers!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xknav3x
πŸ“…︎ Sep 10 2020
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A flasher sees three old ladies on a park bench. He walks up and exposes himself. The first one had a stroke. The second one had a stroke.

The third one couldn’t, her arms were too short.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/tupacwolverine
πŸ“…︎ Nov 08 2019
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Chuck Norris has been confirmed to be exposed to Covid-19

The virus will be quarantined for 14 days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/HellsJuggernaut
πŸ“…︎ Mar 24 2020
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Five hundred people were exposed to ten different puns, to see if any of them made the subject laugh.

Sadly, no pun in ten did.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/popularvote
πŸ“…︎ Aug 26 2016
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Why did your mom allow you to be exposed to preventable illnesses?

Because they're not Karen for you

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πŸ“…︎ Jan 25 2020
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Walking around with my toes exposed

feels a little sandalous.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DINC44
πŸ“…︎ Apr 10 2018
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Just read an article about the top ten exposed electrical circuits.

One through ten will shock you!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/ratokeshi
πŸ“…︎ Jul 10 2019
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Just been talking to an old guy, ex-soldier.

He explained to me he had been exposed to mustard gas and pepper spray, it was nice chatting to a seasoned veteran.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tintovic
πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2021
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A couple was having an argument about leaving some roof trusses exposed when they remodeled their house.

They had some real truss issues.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/UsernameExMachina
πŸ“…︎ Mar 31 2019
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Since I was little my dad exposed me to a lot of dad jokes.

I've groan a lot since then.

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πŸ“…︎ Oct 24 2018
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The illegal tennis equipment market was finally exposed.

Took a while to bust the racket.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/TwoHandedShanks
πŸ“…︎ Dec 19 2018
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A man exposed himself to two old ladies outside work today!

one of them had a stroke... the other couldn't reach

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πŸ‘€︎ u/frzr-csgo
πŸ“…︎ Oct 13 2015
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I had to quarantine after feeding a crow

I had been exposed to corvid

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πŸ‘€︎ u/georgie-57
πŸ“…︎ Jun 12 2021
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Yesterday I got a puncture on the highway, on the way home from work.

So I eased my car over to the shoulder of the road, carefully got out and reached in the side compartment I took out two cardboard men, unfolded them and stood them at the rear of my car facing on-coming traffic. They looked so life like you wouldn't believe it! They're dressed in open trench coats that exposed their nudity to the approaching drivers. But to my surprise, cars started slowing down to look at my lifelike men. And, of course, traffic began backing up. Everybody beeped their horns and waved like crazy. It wasn't long before a police officer pulled up behind me. He got out of his car and walked towards me. I could tell he was not a happy camper! "What's going on here?" "My car has a flat tire," I said calmly. "Well, what the heck are those obscene cardboard men doing here by the road?" I couldn't believe that he didn't know. So I told him...... "Helloooooo, those are my emergency flashers!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sausage_fusion
πŸ“…︎ Aug 17 2021
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My dad saw an ad for game with heavily armed animals. He asked me what they gave the naked mole rats.

I told him stealth gear and a go bag. He is an exposed double agent.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chiefmudbear
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2021
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Gay couples shouldn't be allowed to raise children

It's child abuse to expose them to twice the amount of dad jokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JelDeRebel
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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I invented a new myth to delight my kids

There once was a greedy ore mining magnate who wished that everything he touched would turn into iron. He was careful to always wear gloves except when making huge loads of ore, except for one day when a mosquito landed on his knee. Not thinking, the magnate slapped his leg with his exposed hand. His knee immediately became metallic and the sudden change to his blood pressure caused almost instantaneous death.

Later in the morgue the Coroner noted that it was a classic example of situational iron knee.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CapnFancyPants
πŸ“…︎ May 27 2020
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Choking Puns, STAT!

A female friend of mine has a sexual fantasy of being choked during sex (which she exposed during a drunken... "moment"), I am a bad person and find great pleasure in exploiting this via subtle public humiliation! SO, what choking puns have we got to offer?! I'd think of my own but I go to say them and I just choke...

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πŸ‘€︎ u/jeow91
πŸ“…︎ Oct 20 2017
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I asked my priest for advice

My buddy has a bad back so I often go over his house to help his wife with yard work or moving furniture, etc. Currently, were all home because of the quarantine so it seems like the perfect time to get some things done.

Well, I've been isolated for a week and I have no reason to think I've been exposed, but I was a little anxious cause I have had a bit of a scratchy throat these past two days.

So I asked my priest if he thought it was okay to go over and help my buddy's wife with some yard work.

He replied, "do not covid your neighbors wife."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RangerHikes
πŸ“…︎ Mar 22 2020
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Being polite

When women wear bikinis they expose 90% of their body I'm polite I only look at the covered parts

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πŸ‘€︎ u/imag6731
πŸ“…︎ Oct 30 2018
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Chuck Norris has been exposed to Coronavirus (COVID-19)

The Virus is now in quarantine for 14 days

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gingafried
πŸ“…︎ Mar 16 2020
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