All they do is spin around.
Q. When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this? A. Because your feet aren't empty.
Doctor: Flu?
Me: No, I took the bus.
It was a Nguyen-Nguyen scenario
#FirstWhirledProblems
I'm just not sure about this Dr. Acula.
Children spinning or running or circles or anything in that nature
Dad - Wow, you are making ME dizzy
Me: βHow was the gym?β
My wife (pregnant with our first): βIt was awesome, I did 45 minutes of spinningβ
Me: βJeez, you must be dizzy!β
Wife: (just shakes her head in disapproval)
Is this a new joke or did I subconsciously steal it from somewhere? Also is it any good?! Am I ready to be a dad??
My wife just asked me if my vertigo had improved.
Me: "yeah, it's a lot better now"
Her: "so it's vertigone then!"
I'm so proud
DAD: "Man, I am dizzy from mowing the lawn"
ME: "Drink some water and lay down, it's hot out there!"
DAD: "Go look at the lawn" wink
He mowed the lawn in a giant circle pattern... The circumferences that man will go for a joke
An announcement was made by the Center for Dizzies Control.
Re-leaved
There was two farms next to each other, separated by a long fence. The two farmers were called nick and Barry. They were both very resourceful farmers, using each and every square inch of land to grow on. Both would tend to their crops twice a day every single day, and became friends. However, both farmers were penny pinchers, and would often try and take a few extra crops from the other side of the fence, which lead to arguments. One day, Barry came out to tend his crops, but nick did not appear once. This continued for several days. Both sets of crops continued to grow, along and up the fence, eventually intertwining. Both farmers were growing wheat. After around 5 days, Barry came out and to his delight, saw nick tending to his harvest. However, this delight soon changed to frustration as he saw nick taking extra crops from his side. "Where have you been, and what do you think you're doing?" He exclaimed. "I'm taking in my wheat, and I haven't been out for a few days due to illness. I've been feeling queasy and dizzy when I stand up, with a throbbing pain in my head each time. But it's ok, they're only headaches." "Oh I don't think so mister" said Barry.
"Those are my grains!"
Turns out he had a dizzy-se.
Two birds were flying together peacefully in the air. All of a sudden, a 747 blew past them at high speed. The birds were tumbling, tumbling, tumbling and tumbling, until they finally stabilized.
BIRD 1 exclaimed: "Woah! Did you see how fast that bird flew past us!"
BIRD 2 still dizzy from tumbling replied: "If you had 4 assholes on fireπ₯ you would be going that fast too!"
She loves when I spin her around by the arms so I do it quite often because she gets a real kick out of it. After one epic swing I put her down and stumble around the room saying "I'm dizzy, I'm dizzy!" she shouts back at me "you're not dizzy, you're dad!"
I say Middle Eastern cuz I honestly forget if he's Iraqi or Iranian. We were getting to know each other, and I asked him to tell me a fable from his country of origin. It went like this:
Ali: In (the town he grew up in), there is a tower. A very very tall tower, many stories high, with only stairs. And legend says that if you climb all the way to the very top...
(pause)
Me: What happens?
Ali: completely straight face You will get very dizzy.
That was it. I thought it was hilarious.
She's still not speaking to me after this one.
My girlfriend got hit in the head at work today and had been dizzy and nauseous for several hours afterward. We went to the hospital, and they recommended that she use a wheelchair due to her dizziness.
We were waiting in the hospital to find out the scan result and she jokingly threatened to fight me over something I said. I told her it wouldn't be a fair fight, because she would have the advantage. I told her she had an unfair handicap.
So I was at a friend's wedding yesterday (her last name actually was Friend) but anyway, it was a really fancy wedding on a boat. Well another friend (not related to the Friends) and I were sitting down waiting for things to start when I realized that I forgot to take my medicine that morning. I explained to friend 2 that one of the withdrawal symptoms is extreme dizziness and that soon I wouldn't be able to tell whether the water was rough or if it was just my medicine. A few minutes later, friend 2 looked to me and said, "You know, I think I'm in the same boat as you. I forgot to take my medicine this morning too." To which I replied, "You are in the same boat as me."
Don't to get too dizzy!
Dad: What's the difference between a circus and the rockettes? one is a cunning display of stunts the other is a stunning display of .....
whats the difference between the Panama Canal and Hillary Clinton? one's a busy ditch the others a dizzy .....
Girlfriend sits down at spinning wheel to spin fiber into yarn.
"I think I'm going to spin for a while."
"Don't get dizzy."
commence groaning
