I just found out spiders are dizzy all the time.

All they do is spin around.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/amenotekijara
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2020
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dizzy riddle

Q. When I stand on my head the blood rushes to my head but when I stand on my feet the blood doesn't rush to my feet. Why is this? A. Because your feet aren't empty.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/bhcicecream
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2019
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β€œDoc, I feel dizzy, I have a headache, and I feel weak.”

Doctor: Flu?

Me: No, I took the bus.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jul 20 2018
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I know a Vietnamese couple who got married and decided to both hyphenate their last names

It was a Nguyen-Nguyen scenario

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 26 2020
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My brother spun me so fast on the merry-go-round I got too dizzy to return the favour

#FirstWhirledProblems

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Possum
πŸ“…︎ Sep 21 2018
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I went in for a routine checkup, and they took way too much in the blood draw. I was dizzy, and it was a real pain in the neck...

I'm just not sure about this Dr. Acula.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mr_zensphere
πŸ“…︎ Oct 23 2018
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Under appreciated dad phases of the day:

Children spinning or running or circles or anything in that nature

Dad - Wow, you are making ME dizzy

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πŸ‘€︎ u/touchymacaroons
πŸ“…︎ Nov 05 2020
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Spin class

Me: β€œHow was the gym?”

My wife (pregnant with our first): β€œIt was awesome, I did 45 minutes of spinning”

Me: β€œJeez, you must be dizzy!”

Wife: (just shakes her head in disapproval)

Is this a new joke or did I subconsciously steal it from somewhere? Also is it any good?! Am I ready to be a dad??

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πŸ‘€︎ u/charons-voyage
πŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2020
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Been having dizzy spells today

My wife just asked me if my vertigo had improved.
Me: "yeah, it's a lot better now"
Her: "so it's vertigone then!"

I'm so proud

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πŸ“…︎ Sep 24 2016
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Dizzy G.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/danarchist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 12 2012
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My dad comes in from mowing the lawn

DAD: "Man, I am dizzy from mowing the lawn"
ME: "Drink some water and lay down, it's hot out there!"
DAD: "Go look at the lawn" wink

He mowed the lawn in a giant circle pattern... The circumferences that man will go for a joke

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πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Only_Abe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Did you hear? Parents everywhere are feeling disoriented and unable to keep up with their kids while at home.

An announcement was made by the Center for Dizzies Control.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zedhead0628
πŸ“…︎ May 15 2020
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How did the trees feel when spring rolled around?

Re-leaved

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Thegoods63
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2017
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Two Farms

There was two farms next to each other, separated by a long fence. The two farmers were called nick and Barry. They were both very resourceful farmers, using each and every square inch of land to grow on. Both would tend to their crops twice a day every single day, and became friends. However, both farmers were penny pinchers, and would often try and take a few extra crops from the other side of the fence, which lead to arguments. One day, Barry came out to tend his crops, but nick did not appear once. This continued for several days. Both sets of crops continued to grow, along and up the fence, eventually intertwining. Both farmers were growing wheat. After around 5 days, Barry came out and to his delight, saw nick tending to his harvest. However, this delight soon changed to frustration as he saw nick taking extra crops from his side. "Where have you been, and what do you think you're doing?" He exclaimed. "I'm taking in my wheat, and I haven't been out for a few days due to illness. I've been feeling queasy and dizzy when I stand up, with a throbbing pain in my head each time. But it's ok, they're only headaches." "Oh I don't think so mister" said Barry.

"Those are my grains!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/harryjrogers20
πŸ“…︎ Jul 15 2019
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Did you hear about the guy that couldn't keep his balance?

Turns out he had a dizzy-se.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/sutbag89
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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My dad dropped this bird plane joke on me.

Two birds were flying together peacefully in the air. All of a sudden, a 747 blew past them at high speed. The birds were tumbling, tumbling, tumbling and tumbling, until they finally stabilized.

BIRD 1 exclaimed: "Woah! Did you see how fast that bird flew past us!"

BIRD 2 still dizzy from tumbling replied: "If you had 4 assholes on fireπŸ”₯ you would be going that fast too!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Chefboyclakie
πŸ“…︎ Sep 03 2018
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My 2yr old daughter got me good.

She loves when I spin her around by the arms so I do it quite often because she gets a real kick out of it. After one epic swing I put her down and stumble around the room saying "I'm dizzy, I'm dizzy!" she shouts back at me "you're not dizzy, you're dad!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dat_asthma
πŸ“…︎ Feb 04 2017
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Trying to get to know my new Middle Eastern roommate, he hit me with this one.

I say Middle Eastern cuz I honestly forget if he's Iraqi or Iranian. We were getting to know each other, and I asked him to tell me a fable from his country of origin. It went like this:

Ali: In (the town he grew up in), there is a tower. A very very tall tower, many stories high, with only stairs. And legend says that if you climb all the way to the very top...

(pause)

Me: What happens?

Ali: completely straight face You will get very dizzy.

That was it. I thought it was hilarious.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mikhail_harel
πŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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My girlfriend and I were at the hospital.

She's still not speaking to me after this one.

My girlfriend got hit in the head at work today and had been dizzy and nauseous for several hours afterward. We went to the hospital, and they recommended that she use a wheelchair due to her dizziness.

We were waiting in the hospital to find out the scan result and she jokingly threatened to fight me over something I said. I told her it wouldn't be a fair fight, because she would have the advantage. I told her she had an unfair handicap.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/iBrave
πŸ“…︎ Feb 25 2016
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I don't have any kids, but does this mean I'm a dad now?

So I was at a friend's wedding yesterday (her last name actually was Friend) but anyway, it was a really fancy wedding on a boat. Well another friend (not related to the Friends) and I were sitting down waiting for things to start when I realized that I forgot to take my medicine that morning. I explained to friend 2 that one of the withdrawal symptoms is extreme dizziness and that soon I wouldn't be able to tell whether the water was rough or if it was just my medicine. A few minutes later, friend 2 looked to me and said, "You know, I think I'm in the same boat as you. I forgot to take my medicine this morning too." To which I replied, "You are in the same boat as me."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/oddark
πŸ“…︎ Jun 07 2015
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My girlfriend says she is going to a spinning class on her lunch break at work.

Don't to get too dizzy!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/GahWtf1336
πŸ“…︎ Feb 19 2015
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I like my dad's jokes

Dad: What's the difference between a circus and the rockettes? one is a cunning display of stunts the other is a stunning display of .....

whats the difference between the Panama Canal and Hillary Clinton? one's a busy ditch the others a dizzy .....

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Greenautobus
πŸ“…︎ Dec 29 2013
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Dadjoking my girlfriend while she spins fiber into yarn.

Girlfriend sits down at spinning wheel to spin fiber into yarn.

"I think I'm going to spin for a while."

"Don't get dizzy."

commence groaning

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Gehalgod
πŸ“…︎ Aug 19 2014
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