The officers of my company all met on the open, unroofed porch extending from our building...

It was a deck quorum.

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Mar 27 2020
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Build up at least 3/10

3 men were on a boat, having dinner. In between the starter and main dishes they went smoking on the deck. Once arrived on the deck, the one with the cigarettes figured he had 4 cigarettes but no lighter. He threw one cigarette overboard so that the boat became a cigarette lighter

👍︎ 9
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📅︎ Feb 09 2020
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I wanted to build a staircase but i changed my mind

It required too many steps.

Credits to my brother in law when he was painting his deck.

👍︎ 7
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👤︎ u/Papermint
📅︎ Aug 16 2018
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My grandpa's joke in the hardware store

My dad told me this, one of my grandpa's old jokes.

When he went into the hardware store to buy lumber, he would ask for some 2x4's. When the guy at the desk asked how long he wanted them, he would say "Oh a long time, we're building a deck"

👍︎ 30
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👤︎ u/kjenkins15
📅︎ Feb 07 2016
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At the lumber yard....

Dad: I'm building a deck, I'm here to get some 2x4s Guy: how long ya need it? Dad: Well I'm hoping it'll last at least a few years

👍︎ 44
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📅︎ Aug 05 2013
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Told my dad I was going to a job down south

me: I'm gonna be building a deck somewhere down south.

dad: do you know how to get there?

me: Yeah, I have to go through a town called Lodi.

dad: I hope you don't get stuck there!

  • slaps coffee table

I guess I set myself up for that one

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Sep 04 2013
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Two-for-one Yoga dadjoke vs momjoke

I was building a new deck at the back of my house for a grill. Then I decided that it needed a counter for food prep, holding beers, etc. Well now that I have a counter, wouldn't it be great to have an outdoor fridge? Yes, yes it would. Needless to say, the size of the deck got a little out of control.

My wife sees the framing going up and says, "What do you need all this space for?"

I say, "Grilling meat and relaxation."

She responds, "Are you planning to do yoga while you grill?"

I say, "Yes. Downward Hot Dog."

She quips, "Careful, you wouldn't want to burn your little Warrior."

👍︎ 3
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👤︎ u/texasdonut
📅︎ Jun 20 2014
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Carpenter

My dad and I were building a deck. When I was measuring something he turns to me and asks "oh, just seeing how long you've been here for?"

👍︎ 4
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📅︎ Jan 12 2014
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