My name’s David, but my Chinese friends call me Dawei.

I guess that’s just dawei it is.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/deceze
πŸ“…︎ Jul 29 2020
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I finally figured out why David Hasselhoff changed his name to The Hoff.

Too much Hassel.

πŸ‘︎ 517
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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I’m looking for punny popsicle names. I’d like them to be a play on actual names like Pop Ross, Mary Pop-pins, Pop Seger, Albert Ice-stein, Freezy F Baby, David Pop-perfield, and Iggy Pop. I’m particularly interested in playing upon the names of historical female figures. Help please and thank you!
πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ‘€︎ u/polkadotmcgot
πŸ“…︎ Jul 18 2019
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A student visits the principal’s office one day and the principal says to him, β€œWhat’s your name, son?” He replies, β€œD-d-d-dav-dav-david, sir.” The principal looks up and asks him, β€œOh, do you have a stutter?”

The student replies, β€œNo sir, my dad has a stutter, but the guy who registered my name was an asshole.”

πŸ‘︎ 75
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πŸ‘€︎ u/puggoamber
πŸ“…︎ Jun 15 2019
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"Hi my name is David and i lost my ID...

... I guess you can call me Dav now."

πŸ‘︎ 43
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πŸ‘€︎ u/yalam_boi
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2019
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My name is David and I want to name my son Harley.

That way when someone is asking who that kid is, someone can say, β€œthat’s Harley, Davidson.”

(This really something I’m considering btw)

πŸ‘︎ 256
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dah_beed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 28 2017
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David Hasselhoff has officially changed his name to "David Hoff".

The star has stated "In the beginning, it was hard to change my last name. But after some time, there was no hassle"

πŸ‘︎ 20
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πŸ“…︎ Nov 13 2015
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Doctor: Relax, David. It’s just a small surgery, don’t panic.

Me: my name isn’t David.

Doctor: I know. I’m David.

πŸ‘︎ 953
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Jul 12 2020
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Looking for Chicken Names that are puns of Serial Killers

We are finally getting chickens! We are also obsessed with puns and serial killers. Can anyone of the much brighter minds than mine think of any good chicken related/true crime puns?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/MSahnger
πŸ“…︎ Jun 11 2020
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If Jennifer Lopez married a man named Michael and they had a son named David

He would be Michael and J-Lo’s David

πŸ‘︎ 32
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Snorklingkid
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2018
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Need help figuring out a pun

My work uses punny names for all its example scenarios. Things like Dustin Dubree, Dora Jarr, Duane Pipes, etc.

One of them is David Jochim and no one in my class of 7 can figure this out.

So it’s either not a pun, or we’re dense.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CarcosanAnarchist
πŸ“…︎ Oct 02 2020
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Pun pet names.

Pets I want to have....

An otter name Harry Otter. A snake named Severus Snake. A tortoise named Voldetort. A chicken named Kylo Hen. A dog named Barkamedes. A deer named David Hasselhoof. A turkey named Green Gobbleen. A cat named Captain Ameowrica. A stork named Tony Stork. A pig named Peter Porker. A crocodile named Croctor Strange. A duck named Ducktor Doom. A squid named Abraham Inkin. A goose named Ryan Gooseling. A heron named Charlize Heron. A goat named Selena Goatmez An alpaca named Alpacachino. A carp name Leonardo Di’Carprio. A tuna named Tuna Turner. A horse named Neighlor Swift. A toad named Demi Lavatoad. A Rhino named Ryan Rhinolds. A swan named Swan Jovi. A Falcon named Jimmy Falcon. A ferret named Ferret Faucet. A rabbit named Hoptimus Prime. A cow named Moolissa McCarthy. A crow named Seth Crowgan. A fox named Charlie Fox. A cat named Katy Purry. A wolf named Howly Berry. A hamster named Scarlet Johamster. A parrot named Squakin Phoenix. A duck named DuckleBerry Finn. A canary named Jim Canary. A swarm of bees, all named BeeyoncΓ©. A sheep named Meryl Sheep. An elk named Elkton John. A bear named Teddy Mercury. A ram named Gordon RAMsey. A shark named Fin Diesel. A jellyfish named Jelly Clarkson. An Iguana named Eddie Lizard. A hyena named Hyena Bonham Carter. A penguin named Robird Downey Jr.

a ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Clixer712
πŸ“…︎ Jul 01 2019
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Ultimate dad joke

If I ever have a son I'm naming him Tom just so I can play space oddity by David bowie in the delivery room during the birth. It's the ultimate dad joke and none of you can stop me

πŸ‘︎ 4
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πŸ“…︎ Jul 17 2020
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Despite modern trends, my wife, Christine, took my name when we were married.

I'm still getting used to calling her David.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hommusamongus
πŸ“…︎ Jul 23 2018
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Food Name Puns

Hey guys my friend is opening up a new bar and is looking for some food name puns. We were looking for some help from Reddit. Here are some of the names we have so far

  • Happy Grillmore
  • Spaghetti Murphy
  • Lasagnye West
  • Forrest Rump
  • Egg Sheeran
  • David Jafflehoff
  • The Lamb Shank Redemption
  • Beef Me Up Scotty
  • HeisenBurger

Anymore suggestions will be appreciated

πŸ‘︎ 16
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tosswinkle
πŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2014
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My dad was furious when I asked him if he could hand me a bookmark

After 23 years you would think I would learn that his name was actually David.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/the_science_dude
πŸ“…︎ Jul 07 2019
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If Van Halen opened up a soup kitchen...

It should be named David Lee Broth

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/dufosho
πŸ“…︎ Feb 17 2018
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Good one, dad :(

"Dad am I adopted?"

"No, you're David. Why would anyone name you 'Adopted'? Even if we wanted to, your name was already 'David' when we adopted you"

πŸ‘︎ 154
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Johnsco1
πŸ“…︎ Jun 19 2016
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Never seizes to amaze. Even over texts

Me: You sure I have to go tomorrow?

Dad: Yes. The family is expecting you. Just talk to David and he can help you out.

Me: Roger That

Dad: No his name is David

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/12TripleAce12
πŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2016
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Classic joke with a twist.

Me: "What's for dinner, I'm starving."

Dad: "Hi, Starving. I'm Dad."

Me: "NO! My name is DAVID. There is no 'starving' in my name."

Dad: "Oh okay. My mistake, No Starving David."

God damn it, dad...

πŸ‘︎ 2
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πŸ‘€︎ u/TheLordOfSmug
πŸ“…︎ May 26 2014
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My name is David, and I just lost my ID somewhere.

So now I'm just Dav.

πŸ‘︎ 23
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Pluckish
πŸ“…︎ May 09 2019
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