Disarming Skeleton in DnD

Dm: You walk into a room full of skeletons holding onto rusted weapons

Friend #1: Ok.... Uhhhh... Lets disarming the skeletons b4 they come alive.

Friend #2:Good idea, Ill grab the one with the spear.

Friend #3:Ill grab the one with the swords.

Me: and ill grab their arms :>

Friends and DM: -_-

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Aarvan05nxt
πŸ“…︎ May 21 2021
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In our next Dnd campaign, the 4 heroes are all going to be singing wizards.

A regular bard-ershop quartet.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/zeesmurf
πŸ“…︎ Dec 31 2020
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Sleight of foot would be a cool β€œfeat” for a DnD character though
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πŸ‘€︎ u/YaBoyEden
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2020
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Found on r/DnD
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πŸ‘€︎ u/JunkyardPupp
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2018
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DND Dm dad joke *long* reddit.com/r/gametales/co…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/mementh
πŸ“…︎ Oct 16 2018
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From my recent DnD game, in the local tavern

Bard: I take out my lute and start playing

Druid: I take out my flute and join in

Dm: rolls. Everybody loves it. (Paraphrased. Took much longer)

Me: Hey. Where did you keep the flute? Would you say maybe in the brim of your shoe? Like how some keep a knife in their boot? Please, just go with it

So the lute and the flute from the boot was a hoot

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πŸ‘€︎ u/cmndrhurricane
πŸ“…︎ Apr 06 2018
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My DnD party mate will make a fine dad one day

So I'm in this DnD party. There are six of us including the DM. Chris is the DM, and the other major player here is Shawn: what you need to know about him is that his character has three arms, plus a bionic one.

Chris: after Shawn has been attacked by a flying enemy and thrown off a pier So you're now in the water. What are you going to do?

Shawn: Does this affect my bionic arm?

Chris: No, you waterproofed it last session, remember?

Shawn: Oh, right. That's handy.

All: groan

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πŸ‘€︎ u/teuast
πŸ“…︎ May 23 2014
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So I made a character who's into axes... I need puns and jokes... About axes! (x-post /r/DnD) reddit.com/r/DnD/comments…
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Slashgate
πŸ“…︎ Oct 17 2013
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Got Dad-Joked during DnD

One of my friends said "I'm going to use a feint action"

Dave (Our DM) replied "Okay, you're prone"

Everyone groaned.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Sirfungus
πŸ“…︎ Apr 12 2014
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Need your best rock/stone based puns

I play dnd and my bard is very annoyed, that our party's druid, who is an earth genasi (appearance was described as a living statue)) won't give anyone his name.

So my bard will only address them with rock based puns until they properly introduce themselves.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 02 2021
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Axolotl questions
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πŸ‘€︎ u/averyhungryperson
πŸ“…︎ Sep 12 2020
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I need help solving a pun/riddle.

Context: I'm in a DnD campaign, for fifth edition.

So basically, one of my characters told a horrible pun to a planetar (Massive angel-like being) over Sending (A spell letting you communicate over long distances). "Whaddya call a celestial who likes to fish? An angel-er." and then he got asked to put his journal in the box that suddenly appeared behind hm, He complied, and when he got it back his name was gone from the first page of the book, and there was a golden box, that read "Tell me what I've pun, wizard" So I'm assuming he needs to answer in some sort of pun related to his name, Klaus Hallowmantle.

However, my brain is smoother than... I can't think of anything to compare it to all of a sudden. Oh well. Anyone who can help me with this?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/A_Hipster_Fox
πŸ“…︎ Jan 13 2021
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Need help with puns.

So I have an english speaking DnD group and it’s not my native language so I have a hard time coming up with creative puns.

Next month we will have an adventure where they will all be turned into sushi’s. Do you have any puns for Paladin sushi’s or wizard sushi’s or any other class BUT that person is also a sushi?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RobertCutter
πŸ“…︎ Nov 09 2020
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A medieval lawyer lost his license and became instead an insult musician for taverns...

His stage name "Diss-Bard"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Brokenbyher2019
πŸ“…︎ Sep 01 2020
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What kind of fire leaves a room damp?

A humidifire.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/marvinli
πŸ“…︎ Mar 13 2019
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This pun made my friend not want to talk to me for a day

Ok, so this one needs a bit of buildup.

At the time (a week or so ago) I was making a homebrew item for DnD (for the uninformed, Homebrew are custom made items/classes/spells to use in a DnD game at the discretion of the DM (Dungeon Master)).

I had shown this item (shameless plug) to my friend (who is also the DM of the campaign I'm in now) in the hopes of using it in the campaign. He had pointed out that the item was a bit OP for it's cost and that the homebrew page I had made for it was too long. We were discussing ways to improve both the item and the page, and then got on the topic of magic items in general.

It went something along the lines of this:

DM: ... you can't really destroy a magic item before removing the magic from it. Like, you could try to melt down a magic sword for example, but all that would really do is make it too hot to hold. You could even bend it, but not outright destroy it.

Me: That's gotta be one pissed off magic sword.

DM: I mean, yeah, if it's sentient.

Me: Maybe it got so angry at being bent, that it gains sentience just spite you or something.

DM: Well, yeah maybe.

And this, people of reddit, is when the PUN, popped into my head.

Me: *leans in* you could say that the sword gained sentience cuz it got... bent out of shape.

A second or two of silence, and I see the pun register in his head, and I fucking lost it.

I then laugh for a straight minute. After about ten secunds of me busting a gut, he said "Aight, Imma head out"

We're cool now, but he really didn't want to talk to me the next day.

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 29 2020
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Why does leather armor make you better at sneaking?

Because it's made of hide.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chaingunXD
πŸ“…︎ Mar 17 2015
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Need a tree or bush pun rooted in D&D

Idk if anyone here plays dnd but i just got another awakened bush as a pet and wanted to give pun for a name the other one is elvis pressleaf any suggestion would be appreciated

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πŸ‘€︎ u/DamagediceDM
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
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Heard about the arabic paladin?

His name was pala-hadin

Dnd dadjokes

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πŸ‘€︎ u/PlankenSonja
πŸ“…︎ Feb 10 2020
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[Request] Puns on the name "Ghesh"

There's a player in my Dnd campaign with the name "Ghesh". I'm wanting some adventuring-related puns to annoy with. I've already used "put a bandage on that Ghesh" (playing off of gash) and "Found Gheshing Water" (off gushing). Any other ideas?

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πŸ“…︎ Feb 11 2019
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[request] puns for a character called Beach Hitler

I run a DnD game and am very bad at puns. Like all good writers, though, I thought of a character name that made me laugh and have decided to build a personality around it.

Basically he's a surfer bro nazi. Militantly chill. He's a villain in the game but will hopefully read as still kinda tempting to party with. The only thing I've been able to come up with that has any promise whatsoever is "Third Reichteous."

Thank you, reddit angels

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πŸ‘€︎ u/stiljo24
πŸ“…︎ Mar 23 2018
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[Pun Request] Looking for a pun to combine lobster/crustacean with a race car driver/car/track/race.

Title, basically - I need a character name for dnd, dm has required all character names be a pun, and he misinterpreted my initial request to play as a lobster race as a request to stage some sort of actual lobster race.

I haven't thought of anything, and character building sesh is tn, help me out folks!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/xhephaestusx
πŸ“…︎ Dec 05 2017
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Diagnosing a diseased catfolk in our Dungeons & Dragons game.

So we are playing dnd and our Catfolk Barbarian gets sick from being bitten from a giant tick a few days ago. She's pretty salty about it because it's made her physically weaker and she can't hit thing as well. The GM (her dad) says "She is sick with a disease that's like an extreme form of lime disease." "My God". I said "It's Lemon Disease." Without skipping a beat the GM says, "Yes. And it's made a sour puss."

We all die.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Derflem
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2015
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