D&D pun
π︎ 27
π
︎ Dec 04 2019
D-simba
π︎ 3k
π
︎ Dec 09 2022
Iβd prefer this guyβ¦
π︎ 4k
π
︎ Nov 10 2022
xD
π︎ 157
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︎ Dec 21 2022
What starts with a D and ends with a D?
My kids report card
(not so proud dad)
π︎ 544
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︎ Nov 15 2022
People said Iβd never get over my obsession with Phil Collins.
But take a look at me now.
π︎ 109
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︎ Dec 18 2022
,D
π︎ 39
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︎ Dec 01 2022
β!desrever mβI won dna gnorw enog sah gnihtemoS !deneppah tahw wonk tβnod I daDβ
β.daD mβI ,desreveR iHβ
π︎ 9k
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︎ Aug 23 2022
So i called my wife from the shop cause iβd forgot what orange juice she wanted..
'concentrate' she said, but i still couldnβt remember.
π︎ 348
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︎ Nov 14 2022
My wife is very upset with me. She found some letters Iβd been hiding. She says she feels betrayed and has lost all trust in me..
I canβt say I blame her; I feel so ashamedβ¦
I wouldnβt be surprised if she never plays Scrabble with me again.
π︎ 417
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︎ Nov 01 2022
The Beastie Boys announced an upcoming, 5-part anthology collection. You can get parts A, B, C, & D for free.
But you gotta fight for your right to Part E.
π︎ 12k
π
︎ Jul 28 2022
I picked up a hitchhiker last night. He seemed surprised I picked up a stranger and asked. βThanks but whyβd you pick me up? How do you know Iβm not a serial killer?β
I told him the chances of two serial killers in one car would be astronomical.
π︎ 96
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︎ Nov 08 2022
Howβd the cheesemaker start his business?
π︎ 29
π
︎ Nov 19 2022
a-b-c-d-e-f-g...
WATER p-q-r-s-t-u-v-w-x-y-z
π︎ 10k
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︎ Jul 01 2022
This morning my daughter was having trouble putting on her shoes and starting to throw a tantrum.. I asked her if sheβd like me to put them on
They didnβt fit me very well
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 15 2022
My favorite song by Tenacious D is the one where they sing how they are TiVo
You know, it goes "We are the DVR, the DVR, the DVR, the DVR"
π︎ 3
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︎ Dec 02 2022
I refrain from making die puns when playing D&D.
π︎ 8
π
︎ Nov 07 2022
I thought Iβd have waffles for brunch.
But Iβm back and forth on that decision.
π︎ 33
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︎ Oct 29 2022
Howβd everyone react to the moon landing?
Wow, thatβs out of this world
π︎ 3
π
︎ Nov 28 2022
What d you get if you divide the circumference of a pumpkin by its diameter?
π︎ 108
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︎ Oct 21 2022
My wife asked me if Iβd seen the dog bowl
I said βI didnβt know he didβ
π︎ 5
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︎ Dec 15 2022
A guy with a frog on his head walks into a bar. The bartender stares and says βWhereβd you get that?β
βIt started as a wart on my buttβ says the frog.
π︎ 2
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︎ Dec 16 2022
It was so cold in Washington D.C. today
There were reports of politicians with their hands in their OWN pockets
π︎ 14
π
︎ Nov 29 2022
I didnβt think Iβd ever be turned on by population statistics...
But then I came to my census
π︎ 36
π
︎ Nov 21 2022
Do you think youβd ever want to be swirling blades moving air?
You see, Iβve never been a fan.
π︎ 14
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︎ Nov 28 2022
Beastie Boys are doing a 5-disc reissue of their albums. Parts A-D you'll be able to buy on Amazon or wherever, but the 5th can only be obtained through a lottery.
Which means you've gotta fight for your right to Part E.
π︎ 48
π
︎ Nov 04 2022
Youβd think Draculaβs favorite holiday is Halloweenβ¦
Actually, itβs Fangsgiving.
π︎ 7
π
︎ Nov 20 2022
Found out my wife is cheating on me today. When I asked when sheβd be home she said β10-15 minutes maxβ
My name is Stephenβ¦ π
π︎ 7k
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︎ May 07 2022
Iβd make a pendulum joke but donβt know the reaction it will getβ¦
It could swing either way.
π︎ 10
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︎ Nov 21 2022
Iβd like to send one of those βdick picsβ
But I just donβt have the balls
π︎ 9
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︎ Oct 17 2022
Iβd tell jokes about a dog who watches over goats but..
Youβve probably herd them all.
π︎ 61
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︎ Sep 07 2022
Mt favourite joke: Why does Edward Woodward (actor) have so many "D" 's in his name?
Because otherwise he'd be Eh-wah Woo-wah:P
π︎ 7
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︎ Oct 30 2022
I swore Iβd fix my spinal posture this autumn or die trying.
But I didnβt have a good fall back position.
π︎ 6
π
︎ Oct 27 2022
Someone dug me a plethora of dβearth.
Now Iβve got a hole lot of nothing.
π︎ 11
π
︎ Oct 04 2022
If I was going to ask someone to marry me, Iβd propose in an elevator
so I could say I want to take our relationship to the next level
π︎ 5k
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︎ Mar 26 2022
A pianist cuts his hand on the notes B, D, and F#. He goes to the doctor and tells him this.
The doctor says The damage looks to B minor.
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 24 2022
Need stitches? Either see a doctor, or save money and D.I.Y. ....
π︎ 10
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︎ Aug 22 2022
Iβd make a joke about mountain climbing but you wouldnβt find it funny becauseβ¦
It hasnβt reached its peak yet.
π︎ 13
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︎ Aug 26 2022
Iβd like to dedicate this post to my late father.
π︎ 10
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︎ Oct 20 2022
Iβd tell you a joke about coffeeβ¦
π︎ 8
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︎ Sep 11 2022
Iβd never lie on my resume
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 18 2022
I was arguing with a flat-earther the other day, and he stormed off, saying how heβd show me the edge of the Earth.
Iβm sure heβll come around.
π︎ 126
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︎ Jul 17 2022
My daughter is making a dungeon for her D&D groupβ¦
Itβs set on a mountaintop, with platforms built on the sides for tents and shops and the like. I asked if they had one for milking cows, since that would be ledge-and-dairy.
π︎ 41
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︎ Aug 10 2022
My mom said she could recreate the Princess and the Pea trick but sheβd make it harder and sleep between layers. The next morning she was dead.
I was charged with matricide.
π︎ 5
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︎ Oct 09 2022
Chuck D is selling laxatives in the street.
He calls them public enemas.
π︎ 2
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︎ Oct 13 2022
My psychiatrist said Iβd probably never overcome my obsession with Phil Collins.
BUT TAKE A LOOK AT ME NOW!!!
π︎ 71
π
︎ Nov 19 2022
My wife asked me if Iβd seen the dog bowl?
I said, βI never knew she did!β
π︎ 4
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︎ Nov 26 2022
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