Ra ra ah ah ah, ro ma ro ma ma, ga ga ooh la la, want yo bad romance.
I took my dog called Pilky (named after Karl Pilkington) for a walk in the park. We stopped for a minute so he could have some fun in the grass, when this girl walks by.
Her: What a cutie
Me: Thanks, I just had a new haircut.
She gives me a puzzled look when suddenly she gets it.
She: that's funny.
Me: No, that's Pilky.
I bought my sister a copy of the album "Plans" by Death Cab For Cutie for her birthday.
She asked what I had gotten her, and all I said was, "Don't worry, I've got 'Plans' for you!"
I literally told her what her gift was and she had no idea! Except when I finally gave it to her, she got the joke and punched me. :(
Rando: "Hi, Cutie! Are you having fun with Daddy?"
Son: "No. I'm Kayson."
R: "What?"
S: "My name Kayson."
R: "Ok, are you playing?!"
S: "No, I'm Kayson."
Me (to self): "Lady... He just owned you twice in the same conversation... Give up."
I always tell her the awesome jokes that I find here and other places. She rolls her eyes ninety percent of the time, as one would expect.
Well the other day I was going up an escalator and got zapped by static electricity-
Me: Ouch!
Her: Aww, it must be because you're such an electri-cutie
I was so proud, it nearly brought a tear to my eye.
Boss: How was your weekend?
Me: My cat is dying. So I spent Saturday, sitting on the couch, doing work, and trying to figure out what kind of music you play for a dying cat...
Boss: DeathCat for Cutie?
