So I gave her 100 years of bad luck.
Parrots love fowl language.
My dad used to always say "DAMN" when my sister and I were little (he still does).
We used to always say "Daddy stop saying that! It's a bad word."
He would always reply "It's not a bad word, that's what beavers build!"
Now I say damn all the time.
That was last Tuesday, and I still haven’t got all the crumbs out of my hair.
it gave me paws.
Just not the ones she been giving me lately.
Thanks for the silver ❤️
Too much cursing.
Black: Harry, I’m dead.
Harry: Are you serious?
Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.
The prophet hands him a six sided piece of paper. Confused, the man asks how it's supposed to help him. "Simple," the prophet says, "it's a hex a gon."
Dad: what should I say instead bull-
Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.
Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit
Hexercise equipment
Hello Hairy.
SIGN LANGUAGE
You kiss your mother with that mouth?
Too much cursing.
At first the curse just brought him bad luck, causing vital equipment to break and provoking frequent but small injuries to him and his crew. Soon, however, the curse darkened and diggers the man had hired to help work his claim began to die in bizarre ways.
One was killed by an African scorpion that should never have made it to Alaska, let alone have survived the cold. A second drank a gallon of the mercury used to separate the gold from the ore. A third was found with a tree growing up through his body.
The man himself who owned the claim became more and more pale. His eyes became all white. His skin began to give off an overpowering smell of sulfur. He slept all day and at night he wandered the mountain above his claim, coming back each day looking more like a beast than a man.
The curse became so bad the last worker alive ran away to the nearest town to tell the authorities what was happening at the claim.
In an attempt to save the claim owner's life and lift the curse, a priest was brought in by dogsled to perform an exorcism on the man.
A sherriff from the town came with the priest as a bodyguard.
The exorcism was long, but apparently successful. Immediately the man's color returned, the sulfur smell disappeared, and he was able to sleep through the night for the first time in six months.
After the man awoke, the sherriff immediately arrested the man and brought him back to town with the priest. Standing in front of the judge, the sherriff was asked what charge the law had against the claim owner whose life had just been so dramatically turned around.
The sherriff looked at the man, then looked back at the judge and said in a slow and rumbling voice, "Possession as a miner."
She'll be sari!
My sister wanted to make sure he is checking his emails and being responsible....so I send him daily jokes. Not sure if this link works, but if this cool kiddo burrito finds this someday...your emails back are the highlight of my days. http://imgur.com/a/llxi1lO
Jazz.
I know you were thinking Hip Hop, but they actually like to scat.
Itself just isn't a very funny word.
Gravy.
My dad: whatcha doin
Me: looking at Reddit
My dad: what are you doing if you already read it
He went to the border of his city but there was a border line, he went to the coast but there was a coast line, he once asked a girl on a date but there was a date line. They go out on a date and go to a club named “head” but there was a “head” line, after dancing with his date she says she is thirsty, so being a good date he goes to get a her some punch
But there was no punch line.
The prince was unbearable.
