Curse the creator of autocorrect! I asked my friend what the best shampoo to use was, and he replied β€œPanettone”.

That was last Tuesday, and I still haven’t got all the crumbs out of my hair.

πŸ‘︎ 13
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Manpag
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2021
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*Black gets hit by the Killing Curse*

Black: Harry, I’m dead.

Harry: Are you serious?

Black: Yes, I’m dead Sirius.

πŸ‘︎ 28
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πŸ‘€︎ u/sarcasticpremed
πŸ“…︎ Sep 04 2020
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Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy were fighting once when Draco decided to curse Harry with a Hair Growing Spell that grows hair instantly. Ron passed by and said:

Hello Hairy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SonEf_Adam
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2020
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Wife: we shouldn’t curse around the kids anymore

Dad: what should I say instead bull-

Wife: Shhh!!! Say snake instead.

Dad: [whispers] this is snakeshit

πŸ‘︎ 8k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/squeth
πŸ“…︎ Jun 13 2019
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I’m the kind of guy that would yell β€œLanguage” whenever anyone curses. My friend yelled out the F-bomb. I said β€œLanguage.” She then flipped me off.

SIGN LANGUAGE

πŸ‘︎ 12
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πŸ‘€︎ u/RolandoDR98
πŸ“…︎ May 19 2020
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what do you say to someone with Oedipus complex who curses to much?

You kiss your mother with that mouth?

πŸ‘︎ 11
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πŸ‘€︎ u/aggeliki04
πŸ“…︎ May 25 2020
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The curse of the cursive.
πŸ‘︎ 4k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ May 05 2018
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I never say curse words

I swear

πŸ‘︎ 956
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πŸ‘€︎ u/OddZenn
πŸ“…︎ Jan 28 2019
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No curse words involved.
πŸ‘︎ 139
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πŸ‘€︎ u/jankovskijr
πŸ“…︎ Mar 04 2019
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Bleeping a curse word is usually funnier than the word itself.

Itself just isn't a very funny word.

πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/hsimp4
πŸ“…︎ Oct 03 2019
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What is it called when a tank of natural gas curses? Propane-ity.
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/beardwithablog
πŸ“…︎ Sep 19 2019
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How programmers curse?

Oh shift!

πŸ‘︎ 9
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πŸ‘€︎ u/EmperorJediWoW
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2019
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Once upon a time an evil witch decided to curse a young prince into a bear. The cursed prince sought help from a good wizard, but he refused. Why?

The prince was unbearable.

πŸ‘︎ 15
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Keksyz
πŸ“…︎ Feb 13 2019
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Understanding Quantum Mechanics is both a blessing and a curse.
πŸ‘︎ 10
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DisRuptive1
πŸ“…︎ Aug 27 2018
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What did the circle say when he lifted the curse from the polygon?

Hexagon

πŸ‘︎ 8
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Swanton1216
πŸ“…︎ Feb 26 2019
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What do the French say when they curse in polite company?

"Excusez mon français!"

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/wasprobot
πŸ“…︎ Mar 06 2019
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Curses!
πŸ‘︎ 112
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πŸ‘€︎ u/gronkwena
πŸ“…︎ Mar 05 2014
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[META](x-post from r/science) The curse of dadjokes.

I was amazed to learn that making awful jokes could turn into a disease. I thought this subreddit might be interested.

http://www.bbc.com/future/story/20160308-the-curse-of-the-people-who-cant-stop-making-puns Sorry I couldn't think of a sick pun for this post.

πŸ‘︎ 27
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Surcouf
πŸ“…︎ Mar 10 2016
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The curse of the Dad joke!
πŸ‘︎ 5
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πŸ‘€︎ u/DBRWes
πŸ“…︎ Apr 25 2017
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Curses! sfw

dadgummit!

You say to your toothless father.

πŸ‘︎ 3
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Tuxedo_Muffin
πŸ“…︎ Oct 09 2016
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I don't curse, I swear.
πŸ‘︎ 76
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πŸ‘€︎ u/pixeladrift
πŸ“…︎ Feb 09 2016
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I don't curse

I swear!

πŸ‘︎ 81
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πŸ‘€︎ u/Warpable
πŸ“…︎ Apr 29 2016
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