My wife's an abysmal cook. She tried combining corned beef, onions and potatoes...

She made a right hash of it.

๐Ÿ‘︎ 19
๐Ÿ“…︎ Nov 07 2020
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What did Gordon Ramsay about the corned beef?


Edit: Ramsay say bleh.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/ciaeric2
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 13 2019
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I once had a traumatic incident with mince beef and a corn tortilla

To this day, I still can't taco 'bout it

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LurkyTheHatMan
๐Ÿ“…︎ Feb 05 2020
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I saw a cow got bullied by 3 other cows to a corner

You can say she's a "Corned-Beef" now

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/PorkyPain
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 08 2021
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I think I peaked, and there were so few witnesses.
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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/LongShaynx
๐Ÿ“…︎ Oct 05 2019
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My girlfriend really changed after she became a vegan.

It's like I've never seen herbivore.

EDIT: taken from Jokeriot

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/fatandsalt
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jul 22 2018
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Here's a list of foods that sound like euphemisms

Bloody Mary, Bulgogi

Fish Tacos

Corned beef, Crab Salad, Clams, Creamcicle

Fruit Roll-Ups

Jerked Beef



Red Hots

Pigs in Blanket, Pot Stickers, Pulled Pork

Spotted dick, Stuffed Peppers

Tuna Melt, Twizzlers

Virgin Margarita

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/rhinobird
๐Ÿ“…︎ Apr 05 2018
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124 dad jokes that will make you laugh and cringe

Dad, did you get a haircut? No I got them all cut.

What do you call a Mexican who has lost his car? Carlos.

Dad, can you put my shoes on? No, I donโ€™t think theyโ€™ll fit me.

Can I watch the TV? Dad: Yes, but donโ€™t turn it on.

I would avoid the sushi if I was you. Itโ€™s a little fishy.

What do you call a fake noodle? An Impasta.

You know, people say they pick their nose, but I feel like I was just born with mine.

โ€œEvery time I hurt myself, even to this day, my dad says, โ€˜The good news is..itโ€™ll feel better when it quits hurting.'โ€

Whatโ€™s brown and sticky? A stick.

Want to hear a joke about paper? Nevermind itโ€™s tearable.

Did you hear about the restaurant on the moon? Great food, no atmosphere.

โ€œIโ€™ll call you later!โ€- โ€œPlease donโ€™t do that. Iโ€™ve always asked you to call me Dad!โ€

Q: Why did the cookie cry? A: Because his father was a wafer so long!

What did the mountain climber name his son? Cliff.

This graveyard looks overcrowded. People must be dying to get in there.

โ€œMy dad literally told me this one last week: โ€˜Did you hear about the guy who invented Lifesavers? They say he made a mint.โ€™โ€

โ€œWhenever the cashier at the grocery store asks my dad if he would like the milk in a bag he replies, โ€˜No, just leave it in the carton!โ€™โ€

I got so angry the other day when I couldnโ€™t find my stress ball.

If I had a dime for every book Iโ€™ve ever read, Iโ€™d say: โ€œWow, thatโ€™s coincidental.โ€

Iโ€™m not indecisive. Unless you want me to be.

How many apples grow on a tree? All of them.

How does a penguin build itโ€™s house? Igloos it together.

โ€œMe: โ€˜Dad, make me a sandwich!โ€™ Dad: โ€˜Poof, Youโ€™re a sandwich!โ€™โ€

โ€œI heard there was a new store called Moderation. They have everything there

A steak pun is a rare medium well done.

โ€œHow can you tell if a ant is a boy or a girl? Theyโ€™re all girls, otherwise theyโ€™d be uncles.โ€

Milk is also the fastest liquid on earth โ€“ its pasteurized before you even see it

โ€œWhatโ€™s Forrest Gumpโ€™s password? 1forrest1โ€

The only thing worse than having diarrhea is having to spell it.

I asked my friend to help me with a math problem. He said: โ€œDonโ€™t worry; this is a piece of cake.โ€ I said: โ€œNo, itโ€™s a math problem.โ€

I keep trying to lose weight, but it keeps finding me.

I donโ€™t play soccer because I enjoy the sport. Iโ€™m just doing it for kicks.

Did I tell you the time I fell in love during a backflip? I was heels over head.

I used to work in a shoe recycling shop. It was sole destroying.

Why do you never see elephants hiding in trees?

... keep reading on reddit โžก

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/weeb123xD
๐Ÿ“…︎ May 19 2019
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Dad's take on lunch meat

How is corned beef made?

By people standing around it and telling bad jokes (introspective pause) like this one.

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๐Ÿ‘ค︎ u/powertothepinwheel
๐Ÿ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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