Computability Puns

A band named 1023 MB was very sad, they couldn't get a gig.

This is unoriginal, but it has been reposted so many times i can't even pund it anywhere in the web, I even asked my pet spider where it was orginally found.

Pun 1: >!A gigabyte is actually 1024 MB not 1000 MB!<

Pun 2: >!Spiders makes webs idiot.!<

for a tech class, i need a team name. I want a punny one. Any suggestions?

Edit: thanks so much!

Why don’t Vikings like to send emails?

They prefer to use Norse code!

more dad style computer jokes at https://puns.dev

How do two programmers make money? One writes viruses, the other anti-viruses.

Where’s the best place to hide a body? Page two of Google.

A computer lets you make more mistakes faster than any invention in human history – with the possible exceptions of handguns and tequila.

If it weren’t for C, we’d all be programming in BASI and OBOL.

There are 10 types of people in the world: those who understand binary, and those who don’t.

In a world without fences and walls, who needs Gates and Windows?

Programming today is a race between software engineers striving to build bigger and better idiot-proof programs, and the Universe trying to produce bigger and better idiots. So far, the Universe is winning.

Computers make very fast, very accurate mistakes.

Never underestimate the bandwidth of a station wagon full of tapes hurling down the highway.

An SQL statement walks into a bar and sees two tables. It approaches, and asks “may I join you?”

Why is it that programmers always confuse Halloween with Christmas?

Because 31 OCT = 25 DEC.

Man is the best computer we can put aboard a spacecraft… and the only one that can be mass produced with unskilled labor.

How many programmers does it take to change a light bulb? None. It’s a hardware problem.

I named my hard drive “dat ass” so once a month my computer asks if I want to ‘back dat ass up’.

I think my neighbor is stalking me as she’s been googling my name on her computer. I saw it through my telescope last night.

I changed my password to “incorrect”. So whenever I forget what it is the computer will say “Your password is incorrect”.

A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.

It’s ok computer, I go to sleep after 20 minutes of inactivity too.

Entered what I ate today into my new fitness app and it just sent an ambulance to my house.

A clean house is the sign of a broken computer.

Wifi went down during family dinner tonight. One kid started talking and I didn’t know who he was.

I would like to thank everybody that stuck by my side for those five long minutes my house didn’t have internet.

A TV can insult your intelligence, but nothing rubs it in like a computer.

Are you a computer whiz? it seems you know how to turn my software to hardwar

I'm looking for a name for a programing team. Do you see a good pun, simple enough to be understood by a beginner ? Thank you

A Dell

I told: mom that why I am using a chair.

"Damn that was a hard drive."

Of course it does. Software needs to get better over a number of years and you can’t rush the progress.

Chrome wasn’t built in a day!

I don't believe heryhhxfukklo8764eh89kg4ghi9hde3yhoonib7v6c5x4xv9n8vx4&6c79b9n

I now pronounce you man and wifi.

My Pc asked me if it would ever be like a PlayStation or Xbox.

I told him no.

he's Inconsoleable.

I dunno, he ransomware.

It was an Apple with limited memory; just one byte. Then, everything crashed.

It's frozen.

The space bar

His password is 1Forrest1

Bit by bit

They both have megabytes.

Because he listened to his motherboard!

Now he can processor.

It crashed.

it talks so if it's being annoying just say "open down"

I suppose you CTRL C

It’s not stroganoff

Boss: Hard drive?

Me: No, the commute was fine. It’s my laptop.

I am learning how to Excel in spreadsheets in my computer science class

It takes screen shots.

Tech Support: “It seems as though your operating system was installed backwards.”

Me: “So?”

They just ransomware.

A space bar

Because they're scared of the mouse.

A server

I’m not too worried, I think she’s jokinlkjhfakljn m,.nbziyoao78yv87dfaoyuofaytdf

So I went outside and threw it in the sewer

They byte.

Now he's a full rack developer.

Megabytes

I told her to just let it go

Now it’s a Monitor.

It had a hard drive.

One byte at a time.

Bit by bit

Use Windows.