Q: What do you do if a piece of purple fruit gets stuck in the drain and clogs it?
A: Call the plumber.
Q: What do you do if you live in a purple house and the lights go out?
A: Go to the fuchsia box.
Q: What do you do with unruly green kids?
A: Make them do limeout.
Q: Why did the purple family have to move out?
A: They were plum too loud, excessively violet with one another, and were fuschiatives of the law.
(I've posted these on various places on the web outside of Reddit over the years under various screen names.)
My team color is maroon and we need a team name! Color puns are desired
They crept in. It was pitch black and stone quiet. They were suddenly starting to regret this dare. Stupidly, only one brought a flash light. The aggressive darkness and inky black yielded with grudging compliance but always seeming to push back. They moved cautiously onward amid the dust and cobwebs. The floor creaked. They breathed in tight, quick breaths. You could hear a pin drop.
Suddenly, there was a deep moan. "OOOOOOOOUUUUU". It seemed from below them. The house had been abandoned for years. Who or what could make such a sound? The boys looked at each other, but continued on, hearts pounding in their chests.
As they proceeded into the kitchen they encountered a swarm of flies. Buzzing and beating their necks and faces, they rushed and stumbled to the door, not stopping to see what they were truly feasting on. They slammed the door behind them. Maybe a body? But no way were they going back to find out. And again came the sound, "ooooOOOOOooooOOUUU" but louder this time, and closer.
They proceeded through the dark into the dining room. They saw a fully set dining table covered in cob webs. Dust-covered regal-looking glasses, goblets and silverware adorned the table. Spiders climbed on ivory plates. Clearly a house of privilege and set for a grand feast which never happened.
Or, perhaps, met a fatal end?
They pushed on. But again that unearthly howl.
"oooooOOOOOOOOOOOUuuuuUUUUuuUUOOOOooo".
They found the basement staircase, and from below, the sounds seemed to be emanating. Could they proceed? Would they? Did they dare? Two of the boys looked at each other, faces filled with worry.
But the third said, confidently, "We're going down there." Not wanting to seem the weaker, the other two boys steeled themselves and nodded.
The stairs creaked and groaned evily under their feet. The rickety banister shook in angry defiance. Insects and vermin scattered underneath them with every step. They were descending into hell, they knew, but none would turn back.
And the sound: "oOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUUuuuuUUOOOO". Now loud enough to fill not only their heads but seeming to claw at their very souls!
Now at the basement door! The antique, crying squeak of the hinges eeeeeeEEEEEEEEEEee made the boys wince and almost cover their ears. But they had to know. WHAT is making that horrible, terrible sound?
"ooooooooooOOOOOOOOOOOOUUUUUUUoooooUUUUUUUOOOOOOO"
In the center of the basement lay an unholy coffin! A twisted artistic expression of murder, decay and
... keep reading on reddit ➡Dick gray, son!
Color me impressed!
Bad idea, Heinz-Sight 2020.
It really came out of the purple
My uncle's in dyer need.
It’s believed both crews have been marooned
Though it could just be a pigment of my imagination.
Unfortunately, it just made the world cold and gray...
That’s when I finally realized I’m colorblind
I dunno, Alask-em
The news came completely out of the green.
If that makes me a chromosexual, then be it!
By their huemidity
I don't know I feel about it.
A stand-up chameleon.
He had a reptile dysfunction
He drew an itsy, bitsy, teeny-weeny, yellow, polka dot linguini
50 shades of gay
I guess that makes me an eighth-theist.
He then corrected himself. What he meant to say, was pencils of color.
A pigment of your imagination.
“I don’t know man, you look kinda gray to me.”
He's wan.
Turns out, it's a pigment of your imagination
It glows with everything.
I think he has a reptile dysfunction.
Hy-purple-y!
Made up by my 7-year old daughter. So proud
Edit: should have spelled it hy-purple-e
Or maybe it was just a pigment of my imagination
I asked him why, he says “I don’t wanna get crayola virus”.
Today I held up three colored balls in my hand. One red, one green, and one blue. My 1yr old son (after much debate) chose the red one. I’ve never been so proud. He has earned the right to play with my old game boy now.
He dyed on impact.
bc their comfort is unmatched.
I asked her if it was going to be full color or just a sketch.
Both gray and grey are acceptable spellings for the color. This makes the color's spelling a gray/grey area.
It was pretty shitty.
The doctor said I'm okay
But inside I'm dyeing
...but it was just a pigment of my imagination.
All white, all white, all white.
I dyed a little on the inside...then I blue chunks
Urine trouble.
Hope this is the right sub but this is something I need to share. Do not eat peanuts right now, if you do examine them carefully. There has been a fungus that has infected most of the peanut crops in north America. From the outside they look fine but if you bite into the nut you may notice a small black center. By then it's too late. The black center at early stages can cause digestive issues but if the entire nut is black it can cause failure of the nervous system and respiratory complications. There are pests that have laid their eggs in these plants and tiny microorganisms have developed in these plants. They leech into the fruit causing the black color. Ingestion can cause all sorts of troubles from diarrhea to death. These creatures are fatal. That's why you should always watch out for the creature from the black legume.
I even have one of her Thai dye t-shirts.
"Well," she said. "It did say on the clothing labels to wash in, like, colors."
Easely.
The poor man dyed a loan.
Needing to refill on water, they approached a pristine mountain stream. "Surely we don't need to boil THIS water. It's so clear!" they thought. They all got sick.
Never judge a brook by its color.
Because every time your dentist gave them to you she dyed a little inside!
He doesn't like the color blue.
I don’t know, but the flag is a big plus!
So my wife and I went to the tile store. I told her I don’t mind picking out tile but having to choose grout colors is where I draw the line...
He gobbles some beer nuts, then pulls out a pistol, fires it in the air, and heads for the door.
“Hey!” shouts the bartender, but the panda yells back, “I’m a panda! Google me!”
“A tree-climbing mammal with distinct black-and-white coloring. Eats shoots and leaves.”
However, I recommend avoiding it, people will be lined up for blocks.
He had a reptile dysfunction.
I have recently been diagnosed with color blindness. It really came out of the purple.
Don’t hurt me.
He had a reptile dysfunction
He had a reptile dysfunction
He had a reptile dysfunction.
A reptile dysfunction
"Color me impressed"
He had a reptile dysfunction.
It really came out of the purple
They had a reptile dysfunction.
The news came completely out of the purple.
They had a reptile dysfunction.
They had a reptile dysfunction.
