What's considered trashy if you're poor, but classy if you're rich.

Not raising your child

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Jul 24 2020
🚨︎ report
Classy.
πŸ‘︎ 889
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/sabrinalynn1983
πŸ“…︎ Oct 21 2017
🚨︎ report
My girlfriend asked my to buy the β€œclassy milk” when referring to kefir...

Because it’s cultured.

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/togiveortoreceive
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2019
🚨︎ report
How can you tell if you're at a classy Viking restaurant?

They have Valhallet parking

πŸ‘︎ 9
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cybot2001
πŸ“…︎ Feb 18 2019
🚨︎ report
I like dressing classy

I think it suits me

πŸ‘︎ 12
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/The_Battle_Cat
πŸ“…︎ Nov 18 2018
🚨︎ report
What do you call a PR stand at a fair being operated by classy and respectful aspiring dentists?

A couth youth tooth booth.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/cashmag3001
πŸ“…︎ Oct 06 2017
🚨︎ report
What a classy man, he is.

My grandfather said this one while we were eating...

G-Pa: Asian accent Do you like seafood?

Me: Uhh...I guess?

G-Pa: Opens mouth. See food!

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Minutes2Midnight
πŸ“…︎ Sep 13 2013
🚨︎ report
Classy Birthday Party

We had a little family get together for my sister's birthday last week. My dad bought a platter of cheese and a bottle of merlot. He said "Cheese, they say, gets better as it ages. I don't want to hear you wine about getting older".

Groan

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/jeffskidding
πŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2015
🚨︎ report
Classy Dad

When I was at my fifth grade invention convention, my fried JosΓ© brought his younger brother, who immediately started climbing under the folding tables. I told my dad, "Theres this kid under the tables!" He then replies "What's he look like?" I said, "Well he's JosΓ©'s brother so he's hispanic" My dad thinks for a moment, and then, with the biggest shit-eating grin on his face says "Hispanic kids crawling the tables? I think we're a little north of the border for that"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ“…︎ Oct 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Drake and Josh with classy dad joke

http://imgur.com/J4sxmWe

πŸ‘︎ 2
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/RedEM43
πŸ“…︎ Aug 16 2014
🚨︎ report
When driving past a cemetery:

β€œSee that cemetery kids? That must be a really nice one.”

β€œWhy do you say that Dad?”

β€œPeople are just dying to get in there”

πŸ‘︎ 33
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/fraggle_captain
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2020
🚨︎ report
I wanted to video chat with someone so I stole an iPhone

And now I'm going to face time

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Samstradamus
πŸ“…︎ Oct 19 2020
🚨︎ report
I've put a wooden desk and a blackboard up in my bedroom.

To make it more classy.

πŸ‘︎ 5
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Rav4xle
πŸ“…︎ Oct 15 2020
🚨︎ report
Dad jokes at the dinner table
  • Me: Decides to be adventurous at dinner, orders pasta with squid ink
  • My dad: β€œMy dinner is delicious, you should try some”
  • Me: β€œOnly if you try a bite of this pasta, it’s really good too”
  • My dad, who rarely tells jokes, starts smiling: β€œSo you’re suggesting a... squid pro quo?”
πŸ‘︎ 32
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/whysomanyemmas
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2019
🚨︎ report
My funny bone imgur.com/idx0mAK
πŸ‘︎ 43
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/el_oh_el_at_you
πŸ“…︎ Oct 26 2018
🚨︎ report
What do vegans and vampires have in common?

They both hate stakes

πŸ‘︎ 344
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/twowsuperfan
πŸ“…︎ May 12 2018
🚨︎ report
My son, who’s into astronomy, asked me how stars die.

β€œUsually an overdose, son,” I told him

πŸ‘︎ 11
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/DoubleL94
πŸ“…︎ Sep 25 2019
🚨︎ report
Sofishticated

What you call a classy fish.

πŸ‘︎ 34
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/labink
πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2019
🚨︎ report
What's the difference between a poorly dressed man on a bicycle and a sharp dressed man on a unicycle?

Attire.

πŸ‘︎ 345
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/khaosktrl
πŸ“…︎ Dec 30 2017
🚨︎ report
I went through the self-check out today.

I looked pretty damn good.

πŸ‘︎ 1k
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/atrix324
πŸ“…︎ Feb 15 2016
🚨︎ report
An Archer was selling me a really nice bow for a low price.

I was suspicious, so I asked: "What's the catch?"

To which he replied: "Second-hand bow. No strings attached."

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mugsofjoe
πŸ“…︎ Dec 18 2018
🚨︎ report
That damn UPS man

My dad pulled one on my brother when he was going to an interview for an internship with UPS (delivery service).

"What does the UPS guy say when he drops a package?"

"What?"

"Oops"

Laughed too hard at first because I thought it was some sort of anti-joke. But nope, just a lame pun. Stay classy, pops.

πŸ‘︎ 398
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/HumorousDaze
πŸ“…︎ Apr 23 2015
🚨︎ report
Trashy people go to titty bars...

Classy people go to Breastaurants.

πŸ‘︎ 25
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Tackysackjones
πŸ“…︎ Aug 12 2017
🚨︎ report
Faith No More came on the car radio.

Turned to my son and said, "This song is totally Epic."

πŸ‘︎ 15
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/ooklamok
πŸ“…︎ Aug 21 2014
🚨︎ report
Me: Honey, I'm about to fart

Wife: Thank you, not everybody would warn people... classy move!

Me: I think you mean gassy move

...anybody knows a good divorce lawyer?

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Sk8firecool
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2017
🚨︎ report
Cow jokes

My carpool buddy was hitting me with these on the way to work today.

"What car do classy cows drive? "

  • Cowdillacs

"What cars do redneck cows drive?"

  • Cowmaros and Moostangs. I added that they are also a fan of COWl induction.

"Who's the longest standing baseball player?"

  • Cowl Ripken

"Have you heard of the famous bovine biologist, Jaques Cowsteau?"

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/makaimashava
πŸ“…︎ Mar 28 2014
🚨︎ report
My GF's Dad

Me: "Oh hey, looking pretty classy there. Did you get your haircut?"

Dad: "No, I got'em all cut.."

πŸ‘︎ 13
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/WalletBreaker
πŸ“…︎ Jul 05 2014
🚨︎ report
Dad Joked a customer last night.

I work as a bartender at a classy cheese and wine bar in the DC area. Last night after some harmless flirting with some middle aged ladies, one exclaimed, "Sauvignon Blanc! That's my white jam!"

I replied, "Ma'am that's actually a wine, not a jam."

πŸ‘︎ 4
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/TheSheepdog
πŸ“…︎ Jul 30 2016
🚨︎ report
Friend drunk texted me a dad joke.

"I was going to tell you a fart joke, but im too classy for that so i'll just let it pass"

πŸ‘︎ 8
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Gurgi3
πŸ“…︎ Feb 21 2015
🚨︎ report
My friend accidentally dadjoked us while playing Bloodborne

Me: "Why the student's outfit looks so cool?"

Friend: "Yeah, it's classy."

πŸ‘︎ 3
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/Mansawyer
πŸ“…︎ Apr 03 2015
🚨︎ report
Every time he orders steak

Every time my Dad is asked how he likes his steak he replies "Just pull it's horns off and wipe it's arse!"

Classy.

πŸ‘︎ 7
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/mightydux
πŸ“…︎ Aug 22 2013
🚨︎ report
Without fail, every time we're finished eating at a restaurant my Dad stands up from his seat and says...

"Let's make like fags and blow this joint"

Totally regardless of how classy the "joint" is. Thanks Dad.

πŸ‘︎ 6
πŸ’¬︎
πŸ‘€︎ u/JoyousTourist
πŸ“…︎ Sep 17 2013
🚨︎ report

Please note that this site uses cookies to personalise content and adverts, to provide social media features, and to analyse web traffic. Click here for more information.