👍︎ 57
📅︎ Sep 22 2020
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My father in law swished this from downtown.

My mother in law was choosing me for leaving my breakfast utensils and drink on the table.

Her husband smirked, "Yeah, get your FORK AND coffee and get outta here!"

👍︎ 2
👤︎ u/tanman1975
📅︎ Apr 25 2015
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What type of cheese do basketball players eat?

SWISH cheese!

👍︎ 39
👤︎ u/beth_DDaniels
📅︎ Mar 16 2018
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My 3 year old daughter was diagnosed with strep throat today.

I absent mindedly let her kiss me this evening, so I went and washed my lips and swished some whiskey for good measure. I know its only 35% alcohol, but I figured it was worth a shot

👍︎ 17
👤︎ u/Bebebebeelzebub
📅︎ Jun 29 2018
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Customer contemplates buying a cord and then says:

"Don't know if it'll work but might as well take a shot. Lincoln did."

👍︎ 16
👤︎ u/Mr-Ultimate
📅︎ Jun 05 2016
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What's a basketball players favourite snack?

Swish cheese

👍︎ 7
👤︎ u/evoleech
📅︎ Mar 24 2016
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Got my wife with this one about her new hair style

My wife just recently got her hair cut and for the first time in a long time she got bangs.

Her: These bangs after driving me crazy. They keep falling in front of my eyes. After I comb my hair I always get a bunch of long hairs mixed in with the smaller. And I'm getting a headache from swishing my head back to keep the hair out of my face.

Me: Well, I think you are doing a bang up job.

👍︎ 8
👤︎ u/BearDrivingCar
📅︎ Jan 05 2016
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What do you call a pig who's good at basketball?

Ham and swish.

👍︎ 3
👤︎ u/headpool182
📅︎ Apr 02 2014
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What kind of cheese do basketball players eat?

Swish cheese.

👍︎ 59
👤︎ u/HanSmolo
📅︎ Jan 19 2014
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