The definition for chortle, when googled, is the definition of a dadjoke.

"he chortled at his own pun."

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šŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2013
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I'm still chortling about this one a month later.

As a new(ish) dad I feel it's my duty to really bring all the dad jokes to the yard. Lately it's been coming a bit more naturally.

The Girlfriend and I were sitting on the couch and she was talking about how much she loved all the prizes and gifts that Ellen is always giving out on her show.

My response: "I heard she is going to stop giving things away, so she's changing her name to Ellen Deselfish."

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/suicidal_smrtcar
šŸ“…︎ Apr 20 2015
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I decided against a demonstration on how glasses are manufactured.

I realised it would make a spectacle

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/kishenoy
šŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2020
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We have a magnetic alphabet on our fridge. The other day my daughter grabbed the letter T and put it in her in milk.

She looked at me and said, ā€œIā€™m having a T party.ā€

I chortled.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/swAnsonWannabe
šŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2020
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I wish Medusa would stop objectifying people
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šŸ‘¤︎ u/doogsie125
šŸ“…︎ Aug 28 2018
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Both my son and my daughter love reddit.

That must mean it's heredditary.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/jollyluigi
šŸ“…︎ Aug 10 2014
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I've practiced firing my shotgun a lot but I don't think I'm improving.

It's hard to gauge.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mrthatsthat
šŸ“…︎ Mar 29 2018
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Why are robots bad at making puns?

To prevent chortle circuits

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/oh_hey_whoa
šŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2016
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[META] A plea for real dad jokes.

EDIT: I somehow JUST saw the Mod Sticky post from last week, where a lot of users have expressed similar sentiments to these. I apologize to the mods if this is not appropriate and respect your decision if you want to delete it. I just wanted to see if people were thinking the same kind of thing. Still, read it if ya like.

It used to be that /r/dadjokes was a place to post actual stories of real dad humor. 'My dad pulled out this groaner at dinner.' 'Just became a dad...I think I get it now!' These are the things that warm my heart and tickle my corny bone. And I don't think I'm alone.

Now, we're arrogant enough to think we know the formula for dad humor, so we can post anything reminiscent of it, and it counts as a dad joke. It's as if we think we own dad humor now, and we can bend it and shape it at will.

Let me tell you, folks. WE DO NOT OWN DAD HUMOR.

Even the dads among us don't own it. I think the universe just channels it through them in brilliant, glorious, involuntary sneezes. Some are more deft than others, and are seen by the universe as more worthy outlets. But they do not own it.

We can get close to elusive heart of dad humor, we can approach it, we can dance around it...but we can never touch it. This is where I take issue with posts like this one, which currently has over 4000 upvotes and 2000 net karma. Is it reminiscent of dad-like punly-ness? Would a dad chortle heartily at reading it? Yes, almost certainly yes. But does that make it a dad joke? No...I would argue not.

Dad jokes are also not just about the jokes themselves. They're about the response--that he manages to be surprised at his own genius, even on the eightieth repetition. They're about the face-palms and straight stares of family members. What is a dad joke without context?

My proposed solution: ban link/image posts. I wish it wouldn't have to come to that, but I can't see another way to get back on track to the real goal here. I have hover zoom--I understand the desire for instant gratification. I've skipped over interesting looking videos because they required a click.

But that's not why I come here.

I understand that there are legitimate dad jokes transmitted via text, or perhaps requiring a bit of visual context. At this point, though, I think they are a necessary sacrifice for a righteous cause. They can always be transcribed into text, or included in a self-post. Maybe it seems a bit extreme, especially in the face

... keep reading on reddit āž”

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/SlapYourHands
šŸ“…︎ Nov 25 2013
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This sub has been going downhill for a while now and I feel like something needs to be said.

Something

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/Kowboooy
šŸ“…︎ Aug 18 2015
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my proudest moment

Last week, I took my friends to my parents house at the beach for a couple days for fun vacation times. One of my friends bought a box of cheerwine krispy kreme doughnuts, but one of the tasty morsels mysteriously disappeared in the night. The day after, we discussed the culprit options. One person said "maybe it was your dad," another said "maybe it was your mom," and I said "or maybe it was one of us.." A couple seconds of silence passed, then I had the biggest pun eureka moment in which I excitedly chortled, "Man, this is a real WHODOUGHNUT!!!"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/gooseyp
šŸ“…︎ Jul 19 2011
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when calling a patient today, I knew right away he was a dad...

me: Hi is this Mr. Dad?

Mr. Dad: yes, I am me

Me: This is me, calling from Dr. Cancer's office to discuss your biopsy results with you, do you have a minute to speak with me?

Mr. Dad: i have at least 7 minutes, i can certainly spare one to give to you! I'm glad Dr. Cancer is proactive in contacting me - the last doctor I went to, i had to tell him i broke my arm in two places.

me: Oh jeez, I'm sorry to hear that M-

Mr. Dad: yeah, and you know what the doctor said? Don't go back to those places!

...sound of me rolling eyes over phone while he chortles...

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/TwirlyGuacamole
šŸ“…︎ Sep 14 2014
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Too many dad jokes, apparently

Was making usual dad jokes, wife comments that my dad jokes go a step beyond..

/sunglasses off

Must be because I'm a step-dad

Cue bad chortling

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/mrinsane19
šŸ“…︎ Nov 15 2013
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I said to my wife this morning, "I was just reading in a scientific paper that blades of grass can actually feel pain. Amazing isn't it?"

She chortled, "Nice try, buddy! The lawnmower's in the garage!"

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/madazzahatter
šŸ“…︎ Nov 07 2017
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Let's Go To Vegas!

My older brother texts my Dad and me today and says, "Let's go to Vegas tonight." Never one to be interested in gambling, my Dad suggests going to one of the nearby Indian Reservation casinos. The problem is, the local casinos have only card games - so my brother responds with, "Nah, no craps."

My Dad's response, "Then just take one before you go."

I chortled.

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šŸ‘¤︎ u/phanfromcheese
šŸ“…︎ Dec 21 2014
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6 weeks 'til baby's here and hubby's already practicing

We've been sleeping with a humidifier because, between the winter and the pregnancy, my skin feels incredibly dry. This morning, I told hubby I didn't think the humidifier was working well because I still felt mummified.

Hubby: You are. pokes me in the belly You're "mommy-fied."

He then walked away chortling.

God help this child...and me. :)

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šŸ“…︎ Feb 07 2014
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