Chess set Puns

Goddamn those big game hunters

I told him to checkmate.

But he saw right through it

The pawn shop

She's my check mate.

I said "This is stale, mate." He said "Are you sure?" I said "Check, mate".

Me: I demand a refund!

Assistant: what's wrong with it?

Me: It's stale mate.

Assistant: Surely not?

Me: Check mate.

I was walking down the street when I found a gold chess set lying on the ground. I don't really need it, so I might just pawn it.

My cat was climbing on the coffee table where my family has a nice chess set setup. He knocked a piece over, and my dad said,

D: "That's in illegal move, kitty!"

Me: "No it's not, he knocked the king over which means he forfeited the game."

D: "Oh, yeah, that is a legal move!"

Me: "Would you say it was a PUSSY of a move?"

| | Mom: "I'm not ready for this so early in the morning"