The Charmin Bears are after me.

I think they're trying to wipe me out.

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📅︎ Oct 29 2019
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Charmin of Asgard
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📅︎ Apr 03 2019
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Charmin. So your Asgard doesn't get Thor.
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👤︎ u/Crash_86
📅︎ Jun 27 2018
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BREAKING NEWS: There was an explosion at the Charmin toilet paper plant in Baltimore, Maryland.

Im told no one was killed.....but many suffered from soft tissue damage.

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👤︎ u/Jeepguy797
📅︎ Aug 13 2019
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After Ordering the Charmin Forever Roll... reddit.com/r/Nswietsmbid/…
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📅︎ Jun 11 2019
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We were discussing camp plans for the summer

Aunt 1: "I don't think one pack is enough."

Aunt 2: "But the pack at home has lasted us so long"

Aunt 1: "Let's just take two just in case"

Me: "pack of what?"

Aunt 1: "toilet paper"

Me: "that's what you're worried about??! I thought you're talking about food"

Uncle: "it's a serious tissue"

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📅︎ May 13 2021
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Dads Be Like

So, my brother was playing Fortnite, and he was asking his friend if he could get a bounty, and my dad said, "No get Charmin" XD (I know it's a toilet paper brand, but still)

👍︎ 5
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📅︎ Mar 14 2021
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Social Distancing Pickup Lines
  • If Covid-19 doesn't take you out, can I?
  • Is that hand sanitizer in your pocket are you happy to be within 6 ft of me?
  • Can't spell virus without U and I.
  • Do you need toilet paper cuz I can be your Prince Charmin.
  • I saw you checking me out from across the bar, stay there.
  • Hey Baby! Can I ship you a drink?
  • Can't spell quarantine without U R A Q T.

credit: some facebook post i saw.

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📅︎ Apr 22 2020
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I went to 3 different stores trying to find some paper towels....

I guess you could call me a Bounty hunter.

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👤︎ u/wbgsccgc
📅︎ Jul 22 2020
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Growing up, my Dad was King of the TP empire.

I guess that makes me Prince Charmin.

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📅︎ May 12 2020
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I know someone who mailed toilet paper to people in need

They thought he was pretty Charmin.

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👤︎ u/averie_me_
📅︎ Apr 15 2020
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Put some white gold in my nose tonight

Two ply charmin for my nose bleed. Never felt richer.

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👤︎ u/BobboLJ386
📅︎ Mar 21 2020
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Toilet paper salesmen were born to succeed

They were meant to ply their trade.

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📅︎ Feb 14 2019
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I went to my Dad's house and used the restroom....

I told him "you have some shitty toilet paper dad."

He said "that's Charmin, it's not shitty"

"It is now" ;)

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👤︎ u/Apodyosist
📅︎ Feb 19 2019
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I tried a new brand of toilet paper

Just for shits

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📅︎ Jul 07 2016
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Bought some low-quality toilet paper to save money...

...but it makes my hand feel kinda shitty.

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📅︎ Aug 04 2015
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Can anyone give me an example of a "soft tissue"?

A few years ago, I was in Radiography School with the Army. During our Basic Medical Orientation class, our instructer asked my class to give an example of a soft tissue.

I replied, "I can name two; Charmin and Puffs!"

I spent the remainder of class in the "Front Leaning Rest" position. Well worth it

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👤︎ u/mikefwt210
📅︎ Apr 30 2015
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Dad caught me by surprise with this one.

My family was watching TV and a vacuum commercial came on. My dad said "hey we should get a new vacuum!" My mom said "ChiefCharmin's dad, we already have 3." Dad:"I know, but they all suck."

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📅︎ Nov 27 2013
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