Mariah Carey is opening her Christmas present

And inside she finds a deed to an undeveloped plot of land that is zoned residential. Disappointed, she sets the deed down and says, "I don't want a lot for Christmas!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/corbillardier
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2020
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What did Mariah Carey say when her boyfriend bought her an undeveloped property so they could build their dream house?

I don’t want a lot for Christmas.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Jayrandomer
πŸ“…︎ Dec 25 2020
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It's Christmas day. Mariah Carey is opening presents around the tree with friends and family. She opens an envelope with a gift, the deed to a piece of residential land.

With a frown, she says "I don't want a lot for Christmas".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/johnblu5
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2020
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Jim Carey would be a very good worker at a clock factory.

He could just sit around all day making faces.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/aussiefrzz16
πŸ“…︎ Sep 08 2020
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What was Harry Carey’s favorite cologne?

Eau le Cow

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πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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What was Harry Carey’s favorite perfume?

Eau for the long one!!!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/envengpe
πŸ“…︎ Jun 27 2020
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Occasionally I drew Carey

but I drew Barry more

πŸ‘︎ 87
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πŸ‘€︎ u/SayLittleDoMuch
πŸ“…︎ Jul 02 2019
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I call my kettle Jim Carey.

Because he brews-all-my-tea.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/porichoygupto
πŸ“…︎ Jun 14 2018
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It's Christmas morning and Mariah Carey wakes up to see what her boyfriend got her this year.

She opens the front door and there is a huge log on a chain contraption that can ram castle gates.Β  Confused, she looks past the medieval device to see her boyfriend standing in the front yard surrounded by dozens of male sheep and holding two tickets to skybox seats for football in Los Angeles.

He holds his arms wide and asks, "what do you think?"

She smiles and says, "Thank you for the rams but all I want for Christmas is ewe."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/mcsestretch
πŸ“…︎ Nov 23 2019
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What is Mariah Carey's favorite letter?

Well, she has a whole song where all she wants for Christmas is "U".

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πŸ‘€︎ u/LtFrankDrebin
πŸ“…︎ Dec 08 2018
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I don't see why Mariah Carey is getting so much abuse.

Every year at Times square someone drops the ball.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Szczesnyy
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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On a road trip with my dad, going through Carey, Idaho. "people are really nice in this town," he said.

"They seem to really Carey."

After we got through the town, he says, "Well, Carey on!"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/punxerchick
πŸ“…︎ Oct 18 2016
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Who wrote the song: "All I want for exile, is you"

Pariah Carey

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πŸ‘€︎ u/JimmoBM
πŸ“…︎ Dec 24 2020
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My Wife is freaking out about this coronavirus. She made me promise I'd put the mask on before I left for work this morning......

Now I’m two hours late and I don’t even like Jim Carey

πŸ‘︎ 10k
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πŸ‘€︎ u/carpet_tart
πŸ“…︎ Mar 20 2020
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Resurrection tour

I just read that Mariah Carey has been has been selected to play with Johnny Cash on his Resurrection Tour. There won't be an opening act, so it'll be only Cash n Carey.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/chichm
πŸ“…︎ Aug 06 2020
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If I ran a large department store, I would publish a huge catalogue of Christmas products and call it the "All I want for Christmas" issue.

And put Mariah Carey on the cover

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πŸ‘€︎ u/Iplaymeinreallife
πŸ“…︎ Dec 01 2019
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Me: I just bought Tupacs of Eminems for 50 cents

Wife: That's Ludacris, how Kanye West your money like that?

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πŸ‘€︎ u/hishernia
πŸ“…︎ Jun 26 2018
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Paging

I hope this is the proper venue for this post. If not, feel free to delete me.

This came from when I was doing production lighting. Every once in a while during concert setup the audio tech would need help with mic check. Now the "real" audio guys would always just stand there going "check check check one two". Me being not a real audio guy wanted to have more fun than that, so I would always do "pages" as if I was paging people. But I would use these assumed names. Here is a partial list of names I would use. If you look closely you might notice a familiar u/name or two.

Paging Mister Lobbla … Mister Bob Lobbla (from Arrested Development)

Paging Mister Vitoomey … Mister Lee Vitoomey

Paging Mister Frescoe … Mister Al Frescoe

Paging Miss Haivure … Miss Bee Haivure

Paging Miss Mitch … Miss Miranda Mitch (my random itch - from The Mick?)

Paging Miss Dactyl … Miss Tara Dactyl

Paging Miss Falactec … Miss Anna Falactec

Paging Miss Tonin … Miss Sarah Tonin

Paging Mister Zinette … Mister Ray Zinnette

Paging Mister Reader … Mister Chip Reader

Paging Miss Kiaki … Miss Sue Kiaki

Paging Mister Doffish … Mister Stan Doffish

Paging Mister Debank … Mister Robin Debank

Paging Mister Festo … Mister Manny Festo

Paging Mister Ifornia … Mister Cal Ifornia

Paging Mister Itosis … Mister Hal Itosis

Paging Mister Saroni … Mister Rye Saroni

Paging Mister Nasium … Mister Jim Nasium

Paging Mister Aroon … Mister Mac Aroon

Paging Miss Ester … Miss Polly Ester

Paging Miss Rexia … Miss Anna Rexia

Paging Mister Zapan … Mister Pete Zapan

Paging Mister Tenuff … Mister Jess Tenuff

Paging Miss Eous … Miss Elaine Eous

Paging Mister Aroni … Mister Mac Aroni

Paging Mister Preneur … Mister Andre Preneur

Paging Mister Cetera … Mister Ed Cetera

Paging Mr. Zapple … Mr. Adam Zapple

Paging Mr. Bino … Mr. Al Bino

Paging Miss Slapter … Miss Ida Slapter

Paging Miss Talia … Miss Jenna Talia

Paging Mr. Rafone … Mr. Mike Rafone

Paging Mr. Zark … Mr. Noah Zark

Paging Miss Yoki … Miss Carey Yoki

Paging Mr. Foolery … Mr. Tom Foolery

Paging Mr. Atric … Mr. Jerry Atric

Paging Mr. Duttank … Mr. Phillip Duttank

Paging Mr. Anoma … Mr. Mel Anoma

Paging Mister Jass … Mr. Hugh Jass

Paging Mr. Onella … Mr. Sam Onella

Paging Mr. Maphobe … Mr. Jer Maphobe

Paging Mr. Packa … Mr. Al Packa

Paging Mister Dente … Mister Al Dente

Paging Miss Conda … Miss Anna Conda

Paging Miss Sharalike … Miss Sharon Sharalike

Paging Miss Bellum … Miss Sarah Bellum

Paging Miss Mennopey … Miss

... keep reading on reddit ➑

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πŸ‘€︎ u/RayZinnet
πŸ“…︎ Jul 31 2018
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If someone gets their timing wrong during Karaoke...

...it can now be called "Mariah Carey-oke"

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πŸ‘€︎ u/blackbrandt
πŸ“…︎ Jan 01 2017
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