A trucker called me on the cb today and asked what the date was.

I said "10/4, good buddy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/WallyWest_77
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2019
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My wife asked if Tony Romo was still playing for the Cowboys. I said he was working for CBS as a plain potato.

Because he’s a commentator.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/CheeseheadDave
πŸ“…︎ Jan 06 2019
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My friend asked me over CB Radio if I knew what today's date was.

I replied "10/4, good buddy."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/BradC
πŸ“…︎ Oct 04 2017
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CBS News anchor just nailed a dad joke.

"NASA announced today that it has space for new astronauts."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/dane83
πŸ“…︎ Nov 04 2015
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You know why they call it CBS?

Because that is all you see, BS.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/madd74
πŸ“…︎ Oct 11 2017
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My dad's regular CBS Evening News joke...

"Would you rather be Dan, or Dan Rather?"

I... I don't even know.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/KittenTitterBums
πŸ“…︎ Sep 05 2015
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A great fugitive name found on CBS local news.

Lee County, FL, local news announced the arrest of Richard Freshwater.

Reporter: "Officials say they've been searching for Freshwater for over a month."

My Dad: "Damn, they must've been really thirsty."

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πŸ“…︎ Jul 09 2014
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Why did the news anchor get his windows tinted?

To prevent others from Seein’ In.

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πŸ‘€︎ u/noreason13
πŸ“…︎ Jul 08 2020
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getting my hair cut in the barbers

and he asks me if I wanted it cut around the back

I replied no its fine to do it here

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πŸ‘€︎ u/akjohnston87
πŸ“…︎ Dec 12 2016
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My 8 year old daughter just got me!

My son was singing one of the songs from the Lion King. I thought it sounded weird so I asked, "Are those real words?"

My daughter said, "Yep. They're all in the dictionary."

I couldn't be prouder!

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πŸ‘€︎ u/fort221
πŸ“…︎ Aug 14 2016
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Saw this store in the mall today called Justice, but it seems like false advertising.
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πŸ‘€︎ u/GuyFromThePost
πŸ“…︎ Mar 14 2018
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My old friend's dad's goof on early 80's politics will take your heart hostage.

Once upon a time in the 80’s, the religious supreme ruler of a middle eastern country fled outside military forces seeking to strip him of his power using whatever means necessary. Fearing for his life, he was secretly smuggled into the US where he reluctantly shaved his beard and attempted to blend in.

He successfully went native and got an apartment, and soon realized he needed a job to pay for food and rent. He didn't want to do any sort of manual labor or serve others, as he craved comfortable control. He eventually became a toll booth operator, where he enjoyed sitting in his high chair, making people pay him so that he would grant them passage. Over time he grew bold and began to use his own judgment on what vehicles would pay him for his blessing to cross.

One day, two semi-tractor trailer beverage trucks were in his line, a Pepsi truck in front, and a Coke truck behind. The Pepsi truck pulled up and he said "Pepsi truck, you may pass for free." The Pepsi truck driver happily accepted, and over his CB radio told the Coke truck driver β€œThis guy just let me through for free!”. When the Coke truck pulled up, hoping to also pass for free, the toll booth dictator said "Coke truck, you will pay me 100 of your American dollars."

The Coke truck driver was livid, and said "You let that Pepsi truck pass for free! You want me to pay 100 dollars?! That’s outrageous! I am going to report this! What is your name?!" Our toll booth operator proudly replied "Ayatollah Cokemainly."

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πŸ‘€︎ u/AllUpInMyRizznus
πŸ“…︎ Jan 23 2014
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